22 —- Wednesday. March 10, 1999 - North Shore News lom's report card says she ¢ SPRING Break is almost here, and once again anxious parents will be reviewing their children’s report cards (provided they bring them home), searching for signs of brilliance or indications of trou- ble. Most parents look for- ward to getting report cards for their children, but as one of my kids pointed our recenuy, report card time can be a real drag tor kids. “How would you like to be graded on everything you do?” same kid asked me in defence of his statement. “How you behave, how smart vou are, how hard you work, how fast vou work, how neatly vou work. Its all so stilling” he went on, with a dramatic shake of his head. “Oh, come on,” I said. “Getting a report card is only a drag if you’ve been stacking off.” But his brother and sister wholeheartedly agreed with him, and to illustrate their as Close to home point, they sat down at the kitchen table to draft a report card for me. They devised a plan to grade me on the aspects of mothering that they consid- er to be important, to show me how it teels to be con- stantly evaluated. The categories for assess- ment were agreed upon based on importance to them, and here’s what they came up with: food in the house, rides, laundry, help- ing with homework, and doling out money. T was not allowed any input into the report card. In the category of foad in the house, | was given a C-minus. Well, I consider keeping food in the house where north shore news three teenagers live abour as adnevable as passing Grade Homa. Htscems to me that fm censtandy shopping, but whatever P bring into the house is gane within min- tutes. Last week T bought one of thase yummy rotisserie chickens tor dinner. T made the mistake of leaving it on the counter for 15 minutes while 1 picked up a kid from a basketball practice, and when I returned home, all that was left was a bony carcass. “What happened to my dinner?” [asked around in frustration. “Oh, the chick- en? Twas hungry, J needed a snack,” answered my 16- year-old boy, with a big, ereasy grin. An hour later the same boy that ate an entire chick- en was looking around rav- enously for dinner. “You never have any good food in the house,” my daughter elaborated when I balked at the C- minus. T guess not. My Kids have anvthing with sugar, salt or fatout the grocery bags and inte their mouths before Peven get achanee to put then away, If bam to Keep good food constantly in the house. Pd have to shop for wrocertes every day. No thanks. Pi cake the C- minus. In the category of rides, 1 was given aC, “You're always late,” one kid complained. “You make us walk home from school even when it rains,” another chipped in, and. “You run your own errands on the way to raking us somewhere.” Gosh, i didn’t realize I was inconveniencing my young passengers so much, | made a mental note to with- draw from the rides program alrogether. In the category of laun- dry, T gota B. T actually thought J deserved an A, because laun- dry is my favourite house- keeping duty, bur T was advised that F sometimes “¢ PARENTAL GUIDANCE send socks to Kids” drawers inside out, Poceastanally ger VT shirty mixed up. and | dent iron Das beginning te realize that these Kids were really tough markers. In the category of help- ing with homework, T got 2 well-deserved C. I didn't balk at this mark, because Tfost the ability to be of any real hefp to my kids when they reached the Grade 4 level. Poor memory, little artis- tic ability, and minimal patience haven't helped me. Besides, T refuse to com pete with all the other mothers who make it their job to do their kids’ home- work. help with homework in my own way, by nagging my kids constantly to do it. My final report card mark was for doling out money. “This is your worst mark Mother,” my daughter scolded me, showing me the big red F. Amazed, I asked them to explain. “Well, vou always com- Local probl ad do plain about giving us money, vou chinty us out of our allowance, vou make us pay Tor our OWN enterninment, and vou never have any money When we need tt.” they elaborated. “That's utter nonsense,” I protested. “T'm incredibly good with money.” “What about the time vou borrowed 10 dollars from my piggy bank and forgot to pay it back?” ques- tioned my youngest son. “And the time vou had to write me a cheque for the school dance ticket?” chal- lenged my daughter. “And Mother, vou still owe me allowance from the week of November 17, 1995,” added the older hov. “OR, OK," I said, throw- ing up my hands in resigna- tion, “So, how do you like getting the report card Mom?” asked the boy who initiated the evaluation. “Its a real drag”, | answered honestly. Perhaps I have been a lit- tle bit slack this term. bumpers@be.sympatica.ca em soivers shine Layne Christensen News Reporter laync@nsnews.com THE North Shore will have strong repre- sentation at the Odyssey of the Mind provincial championships next month. ‘Twelve of 15 teams of students trom North Shore elementary schoals that competed at the regional level in Vancouver Saturday have advanced to the provincial competition. Odyssey of the Mind is an international competition that promotes creative problem-solving among. stu- dents of all ages, from kindergarten to university level. Teams of trom five to seven students work for sever- al months to create a solution to a specitic problem. At the competition, teams present their solution to a panel of judges. They also participate in a spontaneous prob- lem-solving session. The competition prepares young minds for the chal- lenges of the future, said Elizabeth johnston, coordina- tor of Odyssey of the Mind program ar West Bay Elementary. “We teach children to break the rules, to think of objects as not what they appear to be,” she said. Ac che elementary-school evel, ceams from Westeor, West Bay, Chartwell, Montroyal and Ross Road schools competed against students from across the Lower Mainland. The provincial championships are April 17 at Sentine! Secondary and Chartwell Elementary in West Vancouver. Admission is free and the public is invited to attend this all-day event. WEWS photo Mike Wekefield JAMIE Blair and Patrick O'Neill worked feverishly on their presentation for the Environmental Challenge segment of Odyssey of the Mind during a demonstration put on for fellow students at West Bay Elementary in West Van before the international competition’s regional finals held last weekend in East Vancouver. hes Ear ADVENTURE CRUISES SCENIC WILDERNESS % Eight intimate cruises, with only 28 other passengers, Cruise Destinations will explore different routes throughout the spectacular West Coast of British Calumbia. See bears, dolphins, Killer Whales, waterfalls, and so much more. (APRIL / MAY # JULY / SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER } $1075 @ AN OAK BAY MARINE GROUP ECO TOUR | Visit our hot website DESOLATION SOUND QUEEN CHARLOTTE tSLANDS KANO INLET LANGARA ISLAND TOBA INLET CHATTERBGX FALLS QUAGRA ISLAND STARTING FROM ONLY * SOME RESTRICTIONS. MAY APPLY. the leader in holiday und fuhing adventures for over 35 years | WWw.obmg.com