a ere are ‘off tonext, Barb?” is a question.
4 frequently b hear L pi th

is. furnace ‘— just so long as
they did something about my
bellyache.. -

served between meals and i in
the early evening.

Evening dress is provided
by the management. .

Have you guessed th
name of the place yet? Yeah!
It’s called a hospital.

My experience with
hospitals has been somewhat
limited. :
_ On three occasions I*
lumbered in,. some. 30)
pounds overweight and:
waddled out five days later
with -a squawking ‘-bundle_

that I was supposed to feed, °

._ clothe and attend to for the

next twenty-some-odd years, _
. With no exchange policy if-

the bundle happened to turn
out to have. lungs like Maria
> Callas, the appetite of Orson

‘Wells and the manners of ..

“Bonzothe Chimp. Good thing.
most of us got ourselves into

that hassle when we were too .

_ young to know any better.
‘Poor old Brian hauled me
into emergency early one
merning, howling my head
off with such clarity that
accident victims were
requesting the ambulance
drivers to take them to
another hospital. At that
point, | wouldn’t have cared
much if they’d hidden me in
the basement Uehind the

Danielle McDonald, Mgr.

After four days. of getting

my meals supplied. by a neat
little bag punched into my

° interest in my surroundings. .

By shuffling along fairly
slowly.and hauling my in-
travenous rack:alongside, I
could go visiting. ;
. The smoking lounge at the
end of the hall was a natural
choice so I joined the daily
group of nicotine addicts.
Now I know. where the
writers go to get their plots
for soap operas!

There’s something about a
hospita) that relieves most
people of their natural
reserve.

were hashed and relished.

we ar

‘transfers &

~ bed but
“wheelchair, © i.
. and scuttled: down the hall:

From _hysterec-'' °
tomies to gallstones, bladder - -
infections to fibroids, details “”

Yat Wal
ee cr

wares,

t
Available on any W
between 6th Marc
April (except April 9/1C

1 4 4days advance b

“Where is your. incision?”
~ “How many. stitches?” “Did
you. get ‘an enema or did that

. Suppository do the job?”

Comments like, “Don't let
them-feed: you those - ‘little
blue pills or you'll regret it!”
or “If anyone ever suggests
calling Dr. Blank in for you

as a consultant, threaten to |

call your lawyer!"

My “room-mate” was
supposed to. be confined to
I hijacked a
bundled ‘he

. The; nursing staff. was the

aera us-and.

our buzzers on the double. soe.
‘they were

‘Sometimes
almost too diligent.. One
evening, my room-mate was
exhausted. By nine o'clock,

she was: zonked. A nurse

came racing in. “Maureen!

_ Maureen! You haven't had
. your bed bath yet!”.

Maureen politely told her
what she thought about bed
baths, rolled over and went
back to sleep. About twenty
minutes later, I heard
another nurse struggling to
wake Maureen. Finally, the
nurse said, plaintively, “But

’ Maureen! You. haven't had ©
your

SLEEPING PILL
YET!”
Well, the. column today

: hasn’t much to.do with travel

unless you: consider the fact
that if you must ‘be sick, try
to do it at‘home. Besides,

- with my current diet of weak

tea, .fruit juice, consomme,
skim “milk and. cream of
wheat. porridge,’ I've begun
to realize that we really do
“travel on. our appetites" .

ceed ¥ a cag

oe

ne det Wah e!

okings

1139 Lonsdale Ave.

North Vancouver
980-0321

Ores

while you wait
North Shore Darkroom BS
1527 Lonsdale 988-9813 #4
1560 Marine Dr. 926-0421 &

a . . dust
Bene a8 per person for 9:;
ala tit twi :

ansfers in Honolulu with:
age: Taxes additional).

igh between 6th: March and
\pril,: xcept. April 9 -

n advance. No weekend sur- |
harge.

LIONS’G spital — it may not be’ your.
ideal vacation ‘spot, but it’s cheap, very clean
"and the service is good.

WAIKIKI $369

Air Only

WAIKIKI $479

8 Days, 7 Nights, Air & Hotet

WAIKIKI *559

15 Days, 14 Nights, Air& Hotel .

LAS VEGAS *199

5 Days, 4 Nights, Air & Hote!

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