FROM PAGE 75

an rrcerennaa

glasses and false teeth - not.
mire! -~
‘ positions _ aad waited -for
, “whatever’’ Pucktly.
nothing happened. *

“Wien we “hit
turbulence”

“clear air
‘over San

’ Francisco, I only had one.

small burn from the flying
coffee pot. My seat belt was.
securely fastened the time

~ we hit some of the same stuff
over the Alps. A few other?
passengers weren't quite so-

lucky and the cabin crew
‘had some fun peeling them
off the ceiling.

We've been grounded five
hours - sitting IN THE
PLANE AT THE END OF.
THE RUNWAY .- in Italy.
Fourteen hours in an airport
_ in London. Six hours in Los
Angeles; twelve in Van-
couver;
Argentina. About the same

in Brazil. I’ve tried an
emergency landing in
Prestwick, another in
Malaga. ,

In Lisbon, I got a good
case of carbon monoxide
poisoning from a _ poorly-
ventilated ‘bus. Seasick?
Never! Not even when we
went through a hurricane on
the South Atlantic. That one
was so bad that the decks
were rigged with life-lines to
protect the crew. We tossed
‘so badly that my mother was
flung down a flight of stairs -
but she landed on me and we
both survived with a couple
of bruises.

On my first trip away from
home and family, I cried half
the night from. sheer
homesickness - I was the
red-eyed ghost wandering
through Edinburgh the next
day.

My family was nearly
frantic when.I was put on the
“missing list” after a bus
crash in Argentina. I wasn’t
even on the thing - but they
had no .way of knowing
that for two days. I got
trapped in Argentina during
the overthrow of the Isabel
Peron government - and
missed a bomb blast by a few
minutes!

The next train from
Genoa to Venice crashed in
Bologna killing a multitude -
but I didn’t even know how
close we'd come for days.
My Italian isn’t so great that
I buy newspapers!

It was midnight in Malaga
- and wearing a long dress
and spindly heels, the mile-
walk back to the ship didn’t
appeal. Taxis were
nonexistent. So we sneaked
down a ladder - strictly
forbidden - into the back of
the dock area. Straight down
slippery steep rungs for
about 100 feet. Me first!
Skirt hiked up and tucked in
my belt. As I recall, we were
singing “Oh Susanna”. And
there, at the top of the
ladder stood a LARGE
Spanish policeman. Com-
plete with mickey-mouse hat
and a mean look.

Almost as mean as the gun
he was waving around. I
smiled by best “Sylvester
Pussycat” grin and hoped he

-assumed- crash”

half a day in-

- Two months later,

didn't think. ‘Ya
“Tweety-Pie”’.

eaten J
Someone 3
explained that the: “lady on "3
the “ladder” was. perfectly ~~3

-harmless and wasn't trying to . 4

smuggle a kilo of heroin ©
aboard. ‘ship, -Probably, ‘the’
officer figured that. if I-were, «. @
_ I'd ‘hardly. be” singing “Oh © 3

Susanna”! And I didn’t get
arrested.

_ Anacapri is — a steep

mountain road from Capri
proper.

guard post - sure enough,
right beside me, -The side of
the bus buckled into my lap.
After a couple of days, I
could walk without a cane.

Sunburn. Sure, everyone
gets a little pink from time
time. I'm the jerk who: did it
three times in a row - within

‘The drivers are 4
maniacs. As we rounded a - }
bend, our idiot hit a steel |:

six months. Second ‘degree—

burns from falling.asleep in
_the sun in Brazil. (Two hours

later, the blisters were quite

a sight. So was the sunstroke

that went along with them.)
nicely
baked, I was on the beach in
Puerta Vallerta.

Super smart, I didn’t fall
asleep. Instead, I spent two
hours drinking some junk in
cocoanut shells - with ice

cubes. What the sunstroke ’

didn’t do, the dysentery did!
Two days later, I was still
_incoherent. Think that
would be lesson, wouldn't
you? ,

Three months later, the
sun in Torremolinos was
lovely. So was the Sangria.
After hours in the sun,

rotating front to back to get -

a nice even burn, we went to
a nearby restaurant for
dinner. Lots of deep-fried
anchovies. And paella. And
bread with lots of butter.
And dessert. And SICK! By.
this time, I couldn't find one
inch of skin that wasn’t
evenly scarlet.

Sleeping was impossible,
unless you're prepared to do
it standing up. But, I wasn't
alone - Brian spent a fair
length of time moaning - and
don’t ever believe the saying
“Misery loves company”!
Either of us would have sold
the other to the first camel

merchant who happened
along.
I cannot drink cham-

pagne. It makes me giggly
with the first glass, stupid
with the. second and sick
with the third - if I last that
‘long. But what's a holiday
for, if not to live it up?
Especially at 35 thousand
feet above the rest of the
world. And especially if
everything is free. “Some
champagne?” “Sure!”
“Another champagne,
madame?” “Sure!”

“That champagne sure is
nice, isn’t it. Funny how I
never could stand the stuff
before!”

Three days later, after
some memorable meals of
clear soup and weak tea, I
began to feel more like a

human being. Husband
smirked, and said, “How
about a giass of cham-

pagne?” It’s a wonder he's

CONTINUED ON PAGE 79

VANCOUVER-TORONTO

. FROM 1 99
Direct flights from Vancouver International
Airport via Pacific Western Awlines Boeing 737

Choice of 1. 2 or 3 week vacations
Departs Friday. June | to Fnday-Getober TS

VANCOUVER-WINNIPEG

ee ow? LOD

Direct flights from Vancouver International
Airport via Nordai Boeing 737 Choice ot 1, 2 or
3 week vacations

Departs Saturday, June 23 to Saturday,
September 15.

VANCOUVER-MONTREAL

eee owe 4D

Oirect thgnts trom Vancouver international
Airport via Nordaw Boeing 737

Choice of 1 2 or 3 week vacations

Departs Saturday June 16 to Saturday, August 25
Long vacations of 7 9or 11 weeks available tor
only $269

VANCOUVER-OTTAWA

See owe 24D

Direct thghts from Vancouver International
Airport wa Pacific Western Aiines Boemng 737
Cnoice of | 2 or 3 week vacations.

Departs Saturday June 23 to Saturday August 25

See Canada first
this year!

With vr present value of the
Canadian dollar, one of your
wisest travel choices this summer
is Canada. And just think of the
savings! Where else ts the Cana-
dian dollar still worth a dollar?

Why not make this
the year to visit
family or friends?

Sunflight’s low cost charters
make it so affordable. We have
weekly flights and convenient
weekend departures on Boemg
707 or 737 jets provided by

. Canada's regional airlines, Pacific
Western Airlines, Nordair, Quebec-
air and Eastern Provincial
Airways. You can stay for one,
two or even three weeks.

CHARGEN

At these low prices,
you can afford to
take the children.

infants under two years, not
ocgupying a seat, travel free of
charge and children (ages 2-11),
save $10 when accompanying
an adult.

it’s so easy to book
a Sunflight charter!

Make your reservation
through a travel agent 30 days or
more before departure and pay a
non-refundable deposit of $25
The balance of the fare Swe 9
days prior to departure Youmdy
use your Visa/Chargex card tor
any payment.

Included features: Round trip air
transportation. Inflight meal ser-
ne if appropriate to time of day.

peaee allowance— 20kgs

Not included: Canadian Air Trans-
portation Tax 15% (maximum $15).

for Complete details on departure dates.
tines and durations please Consult
Sunthght’s Summer 1979 Citylink
brochure Your travel agent has your copy

We help make ends meet.

Pacihe Western Adines Nora Quebec ae and tastecn ( ontact Your | ravel
Provincoal An ways thgrits « ray tered Oy Suntoues Ltd vader

the approval pranted by the Canadian Tams port (ocmens

sHon ander ANC fegulahoos. Non rehundabte $25 deport

requeed

Agent for Reservations

1979 - North Shore News