NEWS phot fan Smith

FAR ABOVE THE FOG, sunlit skiers pause for a brief cesi before continuing their tour along one of the numeroits
cross-country runs on Cypress Bow!. .

Take your brolly to Waikiki

"OVE OVER, MR. ROBERT, HUNTER.

You are not the only one who travels to

- foreign parts, And what do you mean by

‘Suggesting that people might be bored with Hawaii,
“as you did while I was away.

“An sorts of things happen
in those:golden isles. Adven-

. ture is available. We even saw ‘
a genuine native uttering war-

cries” and. executing com-
plicated. manoeuvres © in, his

ey short, your man. Doug. .
- has been in Waikiki, the town’:

of. the | 24-hour happy hour;

inducer: of: jhe: ‘bulging” -

capil an

‘watching ‘and. frolicking in
the surf...

‘did 1 mention rain, the

: word j in Hawaii that is kapu,

or forbidden, if you don't -

mind’ my:showing off a bit?

We. varrived: two days
before Christmas:and the sky
looked. overcast: We looked
dowilicast; “Sure enough, the
monsoon arrived on
- Christmas... Eve.’

for this’ that the

Polynesians -had.“found the
islands over. 2,500-.miles .of

this thar” ‘Captain ‘Cook had
-stopped : -by and been conked
on the*head? Was it-for this:
that the ‘missionaries.of New
England came, determined to

/And. “on:
Christm Day. And on Box- -

get this
Straight

Doug Collins

old enough’ t to” know. better,
swimming across the road
and laughing. His story is

“that-he tripped but he seems

1o like this method of travel.
He emerges from the depths
and we take shelter in a mall,
where we have coffee at $1.25

“(U,S.) a cup, the swimmer
paying,
trackless; ocean?’ Was it for eo ae

thus proving that

. ban the Aula-hula. and do ‘ft

‘away with grass skirts?

Apparently so. And that:
/was why, after a fong happy’

hour and convivial dinner‘on
Christmas Eve, our party of
, several North Shore _adven-
i turers’ ventured -back ‘to the
hotel only to be caught in the
worst downpour since
Noah’s Flood.

There was six inches of
water running through. the
streets, ‘Waikiki being short
of storm sewers and believing
its own press releases, which

there is “trtue in folly.

On Boxing Day, intrepid as
ever, we march out to what
had been billed as the best
Chinese food in the islands.
To get to this fabulous feast
we pass through what. looks
like the opium-den quarter of
Honolulu, real From Here te
Eternity stuff. 1 expect to see
Burt Lancaster or Frank
Sinatra stagger out of a door-
way. Bu‘ there is nothing but
bad smells. +

The recommended

“restaurant. looks not at all
Tecommendable from = the
outside. Inside, it looks even

worse.. There is hardly
anyone in the place and while
we gingerly.sip the soup, one
of our number who has spent
years in the food business

“whispers-that the kitchen is

filthy. Also, the table’ is
sticky.. And God knows
where the: ‘chopsticks have
been. we

We leave before the second

dish is finished. Fortissimo.

Visions of boiled dog and
fried rat pursue us. Later, it
transpires that we were in the
wrong place. A good thing
we were not early explorers,
otherwise” Waikiki would
never have been found, and

all those hotels would be

empty. Qutside, meanwhile,
it is still raining, and on the
way back through the opium-
den area we buy umbrellas.
Umbrellas! In Hawaii! But
it was a wise move. The rain

Stop!! | Drafty Windows :

Viny! inside windows
B.C. Hydro approved.

"say Tain is rare. If only we'd.” §

_ had some surfboards! But the -
said |

travel’ agents, had
“-nothing* about taking such

things to dinner with us, and -

we splashed through the tor-
rent as Livingstone splashed
through the Zambesi. =. *
A Strange noise! It is one
of our party, a gent who is

941-3353

or .
941-7711 - page #2555

stopped immediately and
never returned. If we had on-
ly known about the right
magic in the first place, we
would have brought our own
broflies from Vancouver, and
the rain would never have
Started. .

Anyway, we lived happily
ever after in surf and sun. We
even found a fabulous
Chinesc restaurant. And if
you go to Hawaii I suggest
you #0 with friends. Then,
apart from following each
ether down afew wrong
roads, your biggest problem
will be in wiose room to
spend happy hour. Thank
you, Bob.

Hi mailbox ><

Read Collins?
Not anymore,
thank you!

Dear Editor:

It seems to this reader that
the raging controversy about
Doug Collins’ column should
have come, more apily,
under the heading of ‘‘Much
Ado About Nothing.”

What surprises a humble
reader like myself is that Pro-
fessor Ridington should have
wasted some of his valuable
time reading and pondering
over the kind of cheap trash
which Doug Collins chooses
to spew in your newspaper
with mechanical regularity.
The Professor’s action
almost dignified the trite,
mediocre, cliche-ridden by-
tine of an obscure bigot, by
giving it a publicity which it
hardly deserves.

This being a free country,
no one is obliged to read that
sort of jingoistic garbage,
which anyway is relished only
by other chauvinistic bigots.
And we all know that no
amount of polite protesta-
tion—pubdlic or private—will
remove the blinkers with
which nature, or perhaps the

Devil himself, has endowed .

bigoted people.
‘ So, if the poor schnook
wants to make a few bucks
pouring out periodically 2
weak imitation of fire and
brimstone, tet him. But
reading him? That’s another
matter. I once tried to, out of
curiosity, but no more, thank
you. Have other, more im-
portant things to do.

Happy New Year.
A. Master
West Vancouver

pupuh etic
complins

lan 12 & 13 |

*acrylic tableware
*baskets *bird Le
feeders *brass. taps &

7 weathervanes

“calendars *cards _.
*ceramics *china and.
glassware *dhurrie,
hand woven. Fugs &
place mats *paper..:

napkins & plates

*pottery “terracotta “
*toys & games -*Xmas
lights & ornaments:

Everything must go to.
make way for spring:.

984. 7885:

All. Sales Final . cat