COMMITMENT IS IMPORTANT

Learning to |

The other day an unhappy
young woman said to me, “I
really love him and I am sure
he loves me, but he just
doesn’t want to commit
himself.”

In my counselling, | quite
often hear such a statement.
Sometimes it is voiced
imaptiently and unhappily.
Sometimes’ with under-
standing, but still, unhap-
piuy. I've been doing some
wondering about com-
mitment. It is my feeling that
love is at least ten thousand
times more important and
rewarding than commitment
is. At one's centre is love.

Indeed, one’s centre IS
love. Love is one’s higher
self. Now when I, (even
lovingly) commit myself to
someone, surely I am
running the risk of
detracung from my love by
putting commitment so

importantly in the forefront.
It is too dangerously easy to
end up with my = “at-
tachment” to someone
becoming more important
than my love. The more
important the attachment
becomes the greater the
danger of the love becoming
less natural and warm and
open.

] am eager to put in a plug
for commitment to the love
that is in you and in others,
and to letting “attachments”
shift for themselves. Love
works. Love is a part of the
universal flow. But at-
tachments? At best they
seem to me to be fnghtened
attempts to protect love.
Love doesn't need
protection. It is very, very
strong.

“I'm not getting high very
much anymore,” she said,

WATERCOLORS ON DISPLAY

and

then went on with,
“When I do, | still enjoy it,
but it’s sort of different now.
I can see, from the space I'm
in now, that ! used to NEED
it to get me into a good
space. That only happens
once in a long while now. It
may never happen again. |
guess I know I am already in
a good space — so who
needs it? Now it can be just a
litde bit of fun. It's not a
heavy anymore.”

Flowers inspire spring

West Vancouver water-
colour painter Mary Parsons
will be the feature artist in an
art show at West Van-
couver's Memorial Library.
The display continues
through the month of Apnl.

Mary Parsons’ paintings
are bnghtly coloured ren-
ditons of flowers. “The
watercolour medium lends
itself very well to captunng
the many coloured hues
required in floral paintung.”
says Parsons. The works in
the display area are of
stnking and vibrant flowers
but the fragile nature of flora
1s also conveyed

Vhe arust, a long-time
West Vancouver resident,
lives in Dundarave with her

husband and three children.
A graduate of Notre Dame
University and of Simon
Fraser's Graduate Studies
program, she has been a
public school teacher, a
child care worker, and for
some years a_ freelance
journalist and = assistant
pubhsher of a Vancouver
newspaper

Mary Parsons worked for
many years in her family’s
flower shops, and during
these years as a professional
floral designer, she
developed a keen awareness
of the form. texture, and
colour of the many vancties
of flora.

The display 1s Spnng tt-
self, the paintings displayed

SPRING

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against an earthy burlap
backing enhanced by a rain-
bow of mbbon. Parsons
applauded the community
service given by Woodwards
Park Royal, saying,
“Woodwards has been in-
strumental in making this

She said sadly, “How CAN
I learn to love myself when I
simply DON'T love myself?”

And 1 said, hesitantly,
“You can learn to love who
you ARE, even if, at present
you don’t love how you are
performing. And quite likely
you will come to love how
you are performing too.” But
I wasn't satisfied with what I
said. I wanted to. say
something more. How would
YOU have answered her?

display possible, supplying
both materials and design
expertise.” The show is in
the main foyer of the West
Vancouver Memorial
Library, and is open to the
public between the hours of
10 am and 9 pm.

Over 60 Fans On Display
On Our Ceiling. Fans

from $79.00.

Extra Dis-

count On Other Fans.

MIN

freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at 201-0242
forappotntments for individual family or group counselling

C11 - Sunday, April 24, 1983 - North Shore News

ove who you are

ask hayden stewart

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