52 - Wednesday, February 6, 1991 - North Shore News Girlfriend needs more than a book Q. MY BOYFRIEND says I don’t know how to make love. I'm 29, have been married and divorced, and have never had trouble pleasing a man before. So is it me or him? He says i should get a book teaching me how to make love, but he didn’t say things like this when we were first seeing each other two years ago. Suddenly, I don't turn him on, When he is turned on, FE don't know how to - satisfy him. Lam losing confidence in myself, and E ant setting confus- ed. Why would I be able to please other men and not him? i don’t want tc lose our rela- tionship over sex. In the past we have talked about marriage, but lately all we taik about is how I can't make love. What should I do? A. Maybe you should find another man! It sounds to me like you have serious problems in the relationship. And 1 am not talking about sex problems! **Suddenly"* you don’t turn bim on, he says, and you don’t know how to make love. Surely you have not ‘‘suddenly’* become unattractive and unable to make love. If you want to salvage this rela- tionship, you need more than a book. Get him to a counsellor. If he won't go, you talk to someone. I don’t want you to lose con- fidence in yourself sexually because of the things he is saying to you. Let me know how this works out! Q. Ever since I was a little girl, F’ve known I was different. I have always been attracted to women as well as men. I thought marriage and motherhood would tid me of that sexual interest in women, but it hasn't. For the first time in my life, I have beer acting upon those desires. J have been invoived with a woman for several months. My husband does not know. At first it was wonderful, but now she has become jealous and possessive and critical of me — just like my husband! Local artists sought NORTH SHORE, Squamish, Whistler and Bowen Island artists and artisans are invited to enter the spring jurying for the Images and Objects art exhibit. Images and Objects is held as part of the B.C. Festival of the Arts, held in North Vancouver District, May 22-26. Two categories may be entered: an open cali and a new thematic concept — ‘*Creative Approaches to Community Issues.’ Lunch served THE NORTH Shore Neighbour- hood House, 225 East 2nd St., North Vancouver, is hosting a Valentine luncheon for seniors on Friday, Feb. 8 from noon to 1:30 p.m. Ruth Attfield, hot lunch chef at the House, wi!! cook up a feast of succulent herdu.} chicken, honey glazed carrots, wild rice casserole and a surprise valentine dessert. Carillon Quartet, members of the Dogwood Chapter of the Sweet Adelines Incorp. will be on Works in all mediums are eligi- ble — painting, sculpture, draw- ing, photography, film, video, tabric art, ceramic and sa on. On- ly original works of art should be submitted. Jurors Liane Davison and Lyn- da Gammon will select 30 works, 10 of which will represent the North Shore at the Images and Objects show. The entry date for jurying is March 2 at Klee Wyck from 9 a.m, to 5 p.m. Application forms and brochures are available from the North and West Vancouver Community Arts Councils, the North Shore Arts Commission, libraries and Recreation Centres. Phone 988-6844 or 922-1110 for information. NUTRITION RESEARCHER interested in speaking with individuals who have tried Pr. Ruth Westheimer ASK DR. RUTH I don’t know how to handle this or what to do about our relation- ship. I don’t want to leave my husband for her, which is what she wants. Why is she acting this way? I thought lesbians weren't like men. And what should I do? If I give her up, will I long for her sexual- A. A lesbian is like any other man or woman in love. This woman wants to be with you. She is jealous and possessive, like a man would be in the same situa- don. Lf you were having an affair with a man, instead of a woman, you could be confronting the same issues. And I would give you the same advice. If you don’t want to damage your marriage, end this affair! Some people aren’t content with just an affair, and she is one of those people. Perhaps you can use ‘he memo- ry of the sex in fantasies and that will be enough for you. Perhaps it won't be. Then you will have to confront your bisexuality and decide how to handle it. Q. Why must women continue to use sex as a weapon? I am 50, and my wife is 49. In many respects, we have a good mar- riage, but she has always used sex as a reward for good behavior. When I am ‘‘bad,"’ I don’t get any. Oh, and let me make clear what S..2 means by ‘bad.’ I have never cheated on my wife or abused her in any way. ‘‘Bad"' is not picking up my clothes or (aking out the garbage or remembering to pick up milk on the way home. What can I do about this? Our kids are grown, and fam fed up with this treatment. A. Tel] her exactly that! Say, ‘Look, honey, we need to talk about the way you treat me sex- ually. Lam not a little boy who is ‘bad’ if he doesn’t do his chores or ‘good’ if he does. And sex is not to be used iike candy, given as a reward for good behavior and withheld as a punishment for bad behavior."’ She needs to realize you won't accept this any longer. Get Mushy, A 6B Declare your Devotion, Woo them with Words hand to entertain, and Elders from the Mormon Church will serve the meal. Door prizes will also be awarded. The luncheon is open to everyone and costs $4.25. Pre- registration is recommended. For more information on_ this and other programs offered to seniors call Lisa Dowding at 987- 8138. LOSS? g See us for good hearing § cid service — sales, repairs, batteries and advice. Government Licensed. ASK ABOUT OUR TRIAL SERVICE. North Western Hearing Centre Hours: Mon.-Fri. 9-5 Sat. 9-1 BOOST and/or other liqttid { nutritional supplements § Call 435-9455 12 noon to 8 p.m. Fee paid if selected this Valentine's Day! Tell us in 50 words or less why your Valentine is the best! And you could Win a fabulous his and hers WITTNAUER _ Watch Set compliments of +E M Ww) ewellers WITIMAUER * Contest is open to those persons 18 years and over. DROP YOUR ENTRY ALONG WITH NAME, ADDRESS & PHONE NUMBER IN THE BARREL LOCATED IN THE FOOD COURT. DEADLINE: FEBRUARY 14, 1991. Where Value Has Its Merits 85-5552 SHOPPING HOURS Monday to Wednesday 9:30am-5:30pm, Thursday & " Friday 9:30am-9: ocpm, Saturday 9:30am-5: s0pm; Sunday Noon-5: 00pm 1910 Lonscaie . North Vancouver §