C10- Sunday News; Aprif 19, 1981

decided not to smoke. We

were both very angry at first,
comerciny we a lost went along
ith:t ; did

"t ey eee taey have

"gone. beyond their rights. in

ying’ down ‘a -rule_( of
behaviour for someone, else?
And second, how do you
think we should react. to
their rather high-handed de-
mand?’ Should we give them
_ up? Should we tell them off?
_ Should. we ye just g0 along. with

them and’ act as friendly as
ever? We don't quite know
how to react.

‘STEWART: They have no

right to “lay down a rule of
behaviour for someone
else,” but I don’t think they
have done that. They have
just chosen a way for
themselves which - includes
enjoying their home without
smoke. If you want to call
that a “right”, I think it is a
right they have coming to
them. It’s simply something
they want for themselves in

__ their own home.

and come’through with what
was needed and requested of
you. For them, .are you: un-
willing : to-..postpone your
smoking for a while? If you
find yow are not willing todo ;
that,-they -have. done “you a
huge favour. oy
They have shown you that
you are: not just a couple of
people. wha, enjoy.‘smoking,
but rather you are a couple
of people. :-who- are -hooked.
Your _“p

Counsello. Hayden: Stewart j may be: reached ¢ at. asi-0302
intments for individual, family or group counselling.
e International Plaza Hotel (Open Tuesdays oniylt is br the

é of North Shore residents

. STEWART: ‘Hey, that’s
great about:your school gab-

“fests! ‘What school? Are your
bes. ‘teachers in on jit? Not every- -

one agrees with me, but I

. have - this - -crazy. idea” that |

_teenagéts ‘are people too and
so Td. rather. have the col-

eat discussions yin for : any age rather than

Sieaeewvaer ence,

Specializing on one age.
By the.way.. it might be fun
~ for you ‘to discuss ‘some of
the questions - older :people-
write about, You' might’ be!
" Surprised to iiscoyer that .,

like--you-a1

many of their ‘so. called pro-
blems: are just “the same as
yours when-you get right into

. them.. They.: are: scared .and

angry,, and. bewildered and

ambitious - and’ longing for.
love and undérstanding just
. Give it a try.
an discuss what
- makes. adults tick: “e

See_if yo:

The more letters you write.
in, the more. the column will

relate to:teenagers.:So keep.
those: cards. and: ‘letters com--

ing.

How should you rea

, Why. not; just. shed, them

friends? (Fhat is a° ‘question. ~

for YOU to ponder. Have
you any valid reasons for
telling them to get lost? And,
if you have, do you ‘want to
do it?) If they are such good
friends, highly valued over

many years, another thing |

you might want to consider
is going along. with their re-
quest graciously and suppor-
tively. You see, they are

_ frankly asking you, as good

friends, to do something for

them. If they asked you to |

pick them: up at the airport,
or lend. ‘them some money,
or help them with something
important to them, you
would quickly rally round

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problem" "deciding 7

‘how to react to: your good

friends) may well turn out to

. be an‘opportunity (discover-

ing you'd ‘rather have good
friends than a good smoke,
at ‘least for a few hours).
They are not - “making
démands” - they have just.
chosen a way of. life for
themselves. As their good
friends, why not offer your
clear-cut support? (For a
fellow who smokes a pipe, I
think I did pretty well on
that one). —

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