C8-Sunday News, October 19, 1980 QUESTION: A while back one of your columns dealt with arguing. Even about that column my wife and | managed to argue at length. She says you said so and so and | remember it differently and away we go. She'll argue aboot anything. Usually it is some trivial thing that sets us off. The other day she asked me why I ordered apple pie for dessert when my favourite is raisin. I told ber raisin was not on the menu. She was quite definite that it was on the menu and we argued for a long time. Finally we phoned the restaurant and asked them to read their dessert menu to as. You guessed it — raisin was NOT on the menu. Meanwhile we wasted all that time, got mad at each other and then, when the argument pot settled, we fought about who caused the argument! Our arguments are hard on us and they don't do either of us any good. But my wife says, arguments are right because otherwise a person has to always just give in. J think she's dead wrong about that, but there | What to do to get respect and recognition QUESTION: feel like Rodney Dangerfield. that comedian who t always saying, “I get no respect”. That's the way it seems to be with me. I get too little respect and thanks and praise. | chink ['m doing a pretty good job as a father, a husband and craftsman. But I really am yearning for some recognition from my family. At work, they just seem to take it for granted that Pll do a good job and that’s that. Ac home, my daughters and my wife never seem to come through with the support I want and need. What can | do to get a little respect and recognition” STEWART: Success praise go again! If she were here, we'd be into an argument about it. Would you please say something more about arguing? STEWART: If you two were walking along and suddenly found yourselves very close to a large nest of hornets which were angrily buzzing around you, that would not be the ume or place to argue about hornets. You would be smart to quickly remove yourselves from the area in which you would most lkely be stung. It would not matter much what either of your opinions were about hor- nets. You two people are more important than your support and recognition are a package of goodies that rate high on almost everyone's hist) of “wants” Its real fun to get them from your work colleagues or from your family Most of us need them You are asking. how to get them. The best way I know is for you lo give them away You want to receive praise and recognition and = support from others” Then give those things The chose to vourselt best place to start as home Be sure you are piving K K honest recopnition and praise and support to yourselh to bepin wath The more of tl yer basvish oan yourself the less walbbe your need for out feom others althouph vou wilh stall ety opinions about hornets. Get out of there and laugh logether about your happy escape from being stung. Opimons are far less im- portant than people. In a loving relationship. agreements and disagreements are really not very important. But the people in aie loving relationship == are im - measurably important. | have a friend who says that when two people are totally in agreement, all that proves is that there is no need for one of them! There was a possibility that raisin pie was on the menu, and a possibility it) wasnt. The trouble comes with one’s need or desire to prove oneself nght. But what good comes of it? It is so much Woas it comes to you from others Be sure you give away the things you want. to other people who want them tow Be generous with recognition and praise of others ts there a chance in the world that because have VOUT vou been so hungry for vourse lt that you have failed to recognize recognition the opportunity you have to help sausfy the hunger of others’ The more you pive away the more vou lH have One more thought Never de anvihing just for the purpose of petting plaise Hy all means bore sure nn be praiseworthy and he generous with your praise for others Carve that recipe a good work oul Cees = ome ee ae oe ee ee ae ee a ee ae ew ow om aw a a oP C ( lassie“ $4.00 or Each 2 or 3 pce. suit, coat or dress Now s your Chance to bring tn all yout 2 & Jprece Suits coats & dresses and save $1 OO) on eact tern Prosemnt this ad with garments txpires Oct 4¢t 1980 Park Royal South (hetweern batons AS 922-4011 ‘la he COOP KS veaprert Veahyit Opinions not very important more important and so much more fun to prove oneself loving. There is no great reward for accepting another person's opinion. But’ an invaluable pnze comes along with the learned and practised ability to accept the other PER- SON, regardless of his opinion. “But she’s wrong so often,” you say. So what? ask hayden stewart Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at 201-6242 forappowtments for individual. family or group counselling His new office in the International Plaza Hotel (Open Tuesdays only) is for the convenence of North Shore residents Don't give her your need to prove you are mght and she is wrong. Give her yourself. That pie thing 1s hilanous, you know. Learn how to give wo (and = other) humorous situations) your best laughter instead of your best efforts to be “nght’. The whole crazy business of insisting on what is “night” or “wrong” 1s Pure poison. It tnes to kill love. Give 1a wide berth. consultation. Marta Stafford. qualified and registered electrologist invites calls for a persona! and private QUESTION: Thanksgiving has come. Is it OK. for me to thank God for everything? That's how I feel. Can't thank God here STEWART: No. Sorry. No personal messages in this column. But I'm glad for you. Can you help? North Shore Teenagers Urgently Need Temporary Homes Please phone: Eileen Abraham or Margaret Taylor at 987-5117 Province of British Columbia Ministry of Human Resources Noth Shore Olectrolygses Choe remove hair permanently ‘minimum of discomtort -private consultation by appointment facial legs arms underarms American Etsectroty sis Assoc. 980-2022 929-4468 (res.) Room 217B Medical Dental Building 1940 Lonsdale, North Vancouver ‘correcting hairtines and arching eyebrows IS COMING WHY WAIT? RE-UPHOLSTER NOW 20% OFF Most Custom Fabrics 5 yds. or more TAKE ADVANTAGE. ; THE COLORS AND FABRICS THAT SUIT YOU. AT LOW COST! 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