a , Se t ; \ control,

yh

“When t the bill arrived we

until someone figured: out
. the giant chunk for exchange
idue “on - top ‘of -

ar dian ‘women on my. ;

window. | Be

Money

think ° me make: our r money
“here?” _ :

: all gladly threw in our money _

This

aS “You: Canadians: are ‘the .
_ cheapest people. on earth!”

Free. °
. ‘she scolded us. “How. do you ©

So a ‘friend stunk back i in
“and: ‘offered ‘the -tip “in “in-

“Our. ‘problem: ‘indeed. 1 oS
. suddenly wished I. possessed i
the ._power to. turn Pierre“. ¢
; Elliott . Trudeau - and. ‘Com- ©

a to gain’ entrance . into a-

‘nightclub using the money of
the True North, ‘Strong: and |.
-and.the —

“We. did,
doorman » flatly refused - to.

| accept it.

At first ‘we were s shocked,

: then. indignant, | ‘and finally. —
- we: wailed. like a. bunch: of —

athe me : S
“explained ae a bam oe
our. - diseased ,- mon Wp

“and one ‘begins ‘to. ee a’
“serious : ‘eredibility: problem,
“and: any attempt | tospend o

> “That’s’ “problem. And
m don't forget it.” 7

- : The bills held. a ‘crisp and “ “resulted” in much" confusion _ pany into a ‘pack. of.busboys, a
The two dollar bill isréd | _ powerful respectability, ‘and ©. “over ‘who owed | how. much ‘and. let them work off the #
-The five is blue like me. if remember pete sorry for “De : more and‘ so" forth, ‘and - difference with | some. ? good de ni m ane
The: one.is grees Ms Ww . somehow ~™ the tp. was: honest dishwashing. a even:=our. “quarte: ; re...
_ The face of each. bill “overlooked. : ; “worth: less. This prom eda
The face of the Queen. po PRES, * Strike’ deeper. ‘south, sudden ‘ ‘growl. ‘from: the
ea . Just as, we. _were pulling ‘Seattle’ s . much . touted ‘crowd, and™ the: - manager
“away. a waitress dashed out Pioneer . Square, and. see- ushered us through without
‘to our car. and rapped o on the ‘what: happens when. you. try another word,

“But. pet south. 1 of Se

r-

dollar-in’ its ‘natural. form is:
"met with-cold suspicion. Last
. ” Christmas ‘a friend: ‘of mine
went: through the: ‘confused ©
ritual: vof © ‘purchasing one -

-flated. Canadian‘ ‘funds,’ (a stuck lumberjacks.. This dozen’ « ottles of: beer ‘in.
necessary move if’we ever caused — the. ‘manager . to » ‘Roseburg

‘wanted -to™ “return),”— . and_-materialize. = - gfOP Be” . WwHhien |”
meekly’ - suggested: the _ a “brought the girl hefting a. box .-

_ of 24 down on the counter.
- They. weren't. pleased: when. .
shes aly ony sa out: chat he:

P ‘Original tip-had been eaten “Look at: “us,” we. cried,
ina irection. ‘The stuff is. ~ Up: ‘by the: 15% Plus exchange _ “we're. tourists - we want. to”
so incredi bly ‘delicious that: ‘rate. 7 ‘spend like mad fools: and

“Ttv was ‘as if : he’d produced’

a. pack” of: hockey:. trading,
cards “for “payment and:
expected © ‘the: locals: to” :
‘swallow it, because he got a.
‘very ugly reaction. I quickly —
paid with a rumpled:mass of .
American greenbacks» ‘aad -_
we. vanished. 3 ee

‘response came in May. of this
year, on a. hot afternoon in
Sausalito, California. After a
day:.of heavy | touristing . a.
friend and.I-were waiting for ..
‘our wives, cooling off, so:to
‘speak, ‘and I.pulled’a blue |
Canadian five out of my vest
pocket. The pretty attendant —
stared. at.. the. thing *. with.
-vacant fascination - not even’
‘a trace of animosity ~ ~she just

- didn’ t know what it was.

[pau
1 CHAMPION
A] | POLYESTER |
; j | 9278 Berea. .

‘Wide: rib: tread: Sitters ae

aa “Tes easy,” I “explained.
“This: bill is. -worth .89 of
what: yours ‘is. Just’ multiply
$5.00 by ..89; subtract what's
owing. and. take" cone: for

yourself.” ”

NO

7 iphoven

— ' She - pared back. with |
ual Jeaenion

. wondourously .empty eyes, —
f ..and. then somewhere’ in the
‘back of her mind a. very dim i
light clicked on. oe
“Oh, vs she replied slowly;
trying. to be polite, “I SEC... ..,
scene: _‘itstike food stamps." tens

A TSAVINGS |. a
|: PER TIRE Food ‘stamps; yet: That's
a “when I gave up. trying ‘to
. pawn the stuff off. I may as:
* well have tried to pay with, |
two Ibs. of wax beans and’ a.
used. hammer. It wouldn't: |
have made any difference. eed

Se
~ -

> eg
>
eo”

Aad - a ‘mere | Sausalito.
x ‘waitress, ina single, cryptic.
. phrase, capsulized the entire

financial: structures ; Of our, |
great nation? _ oe

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