ask hayden stewart Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at 261-6242 for appatniments for individual. family or group counselling. His new office in the Internauonal Plaza Hotel (Open Tuesdays only] is for the conventence of North Shore residents. Goodbye to yesterday QUESTION: 1 feel so ashamed of the mess I made of my life during my first 20 years. P've had two and a half years now during which I have wanted to recover from my past and make up for it by doing a much better job of living in the next 20 years. I have some goals and plans for my future, but I don’t seem to be able to get going the way I want to. I still seem to be anchored to that dismal past. My plans for the future look SO good compared to what has gone before, but how do you take off? How do I get going? How does 2 failure suddenly become a success? STEWART: First of all, agree not to make it “sudden”! Second, take note that you are trying Trying to live with the bomb QUESTION: - I have always been concerned about the fate of mankind should we be in- volved in a third World War. Now I am especially ap- prehensive what with Soviet aggression in the Middle East. Obviously, you have lived through the Second World War, but ['m sure you will agree that the next one, should it occur, would be very different. With the growing arsenal of the two super powers, you have to wonder if ANY of us would survive. We are sitting on a timebomb. I know this all sounds extremely morbid, but this thought has really been hanging over my head these Inst few weeks. When I graduate, I don't know whether to go to University or hide out in the South Pacific. What do you think will happen? Are you going to construct a bomb-shelter or wait ‘til you see the flash in the sky? STEWART: People all over the world are trying hard to work through their realities as best they can. As usual, they. and we, do some of the “working through” extremely well and some of 10 we do badly 1 personally do not think much, if any. about “what will happen” tomorrow, of soon or someday. because | have such a full plate today here and now It is exhilerating and enjoyable for me to explore ways and means open to me here and now, to be a part of the cure rather than a part of the disease [he tendency of some people to feel that such an attitude 1s naive and blind aod sentimentally nay practical, 1 can understand However such opinions seem tis smooth gentile = fast Electrolysis, or short wave (Permanent Hatr Removal) and best of afl. tt is permanent Cali for tree private consutation to do nothing to my “knowing”, that for me, being me, here and now, constitutes the most com- plete contribution | can make. I] have no objection to using a bomb sheiter, or accepting any other helpful contribution to my escaping suffering. But 1 am aware of that, a far superior security for me, lies in my deep trust in the practical down to earth business of “being” LOVE, being myself, without any conditions whatsoever, simply par- ticipating in “the only dance in town”. I sense that you are very serious about your question and so I have been serious in my response. It would be quite fair for you to ask, “When you see the flash in the sky, how will love help?” I am not upset by not having the answer for you. I don't have that answer. But I “know” that love is. the supreme and lasting security. It works. I feel safe in it. An important final comment: Please understand I am not promoting THE ONE AND ONLY way I am simply saying that | feel real good about a way I| am expenencing that gives me unwavering security I may be scared to death by tomorrow But I doubt that Immediate Cash Old Gold to give a lot of attention to three different “times” in your life - past, present and future. Third, choose to concentrate on ONE of them for a while. Stick around with the past for about 24 hours to begin with. Make a list of all the things you are grateful for in your past. Then make a list of all the lessons you've learned by experiencing the things you have not liked about the past. SKILLED TUTORS NOW AVAILABLE. ANY SUBJECT. ANY GRADE. It you feel that your child needs to improve hfs or her grades, study habits or in-schooi attitude, you should consider using a One to One tutor We will prepare an individual programme developed expressly for your chitd Our qualified teachers will pro- vide instruction and guidance at our centre os in your own home Thousands oft students have improved their marks tn Mathematics, English, French or Computer Sciences with our assistance Help your child get ahead Cal! us now for more information ONE TO ONE EDUCATIONS 2110 West 12th Avenue Vancouver, BC 734-5161 instruction is available for all elementary and secondary school feveis. R Gould & McCue Jewellers 3102 Edgemont Blvd North Vancouver 985-1500 CREEDOM {ROM UNWATED HAIR FOREVER Stop wasting precious time on temporary methods | etus remove beauty blenusheig hat from your face. arms and leys -deave you alone for awhile. Make sure both lists are fairly complete and ab- solutely honest. Then, say farewell to the past for a while. Forget it. Tell it to Tell it to go out and play in ~ the traffic, because you are too busy to fiddle around with it. Then, for awhile don't waste any time and energy pushing yourself into “planning” for the future. Let that go for a month or so. Now you are ready to pay good attention, (relatively free and unencumbered), to YOU, here and now, in the present. Give yourself permission to relax and to admit to your strengths and your resources. The whole idea of you being alive is simply to grow into the creative use of your own immeasurable potential. All you need to do is ailow yourself to get used to being you. 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