C8-Wednesday, June 4, 1980 - North Shore News Freelance Counsetlos Hayden Stewart mays be reached a1 261-6242 for appomime nis tor individual tamali ur group counselimg His neu office an the tniewnanenal Plaza Howe: (Oped I wesdaas vais is tow the convene noe of Narth Shure resadents T hey! resent ‘success’ at school, 1 have s good part- thne job, I have several boy- friends, 'm happy at home with a great mother and father and a super sister, "'m a born again Christisn and am completely satisfied with my Hite. How's that? Everything is great with me, but even so, 1 have a question ] waui to ask. Why is tt, even though | am so happy about my Life, a lot of the kids my age secm to resent my good fortunc? Thb bothes: me. but unty because Fm curious. you understand it’ Can STEWART: gives mec a couple of clucs thal heip Your = tetter may vou un @Gerstand. The first I will mention ir related to the rescatfal, when another person appears to be proud af his perfecnon. You may be giving thal nonon to your peers who are pulimg back from you. Are you” The second cloc to thew resentment may be because they sense you don't really care very moch about them. 1 pick that up fram your sayimg you are “bothered” {by thea resentment) but “only because” you = arc “cunous.” Whether you actually are or not. dhey may see you as a self satisfied Ing head Just one other tdca Talking about being a “born again Christiano” will usually bnng you ocgative reacDoas You may be utterly san cere and cven very humbic about your clam but vou maght yust as well heow that “talking flippaatly Too about such a private and mward expenence ts not usually well received. especially when the speaker may seem to be proud of herself and a bit of a show- off By all means devote yourself to BEING what ever you feel drawn to as a born- agam Christian, but try to avoid yakkmg about a. The yakkimg hides the reality. Your being “bothered” 1s poi just because you are “cunous” about how anyone could possubly be cnncal of you. It is probably because you since you are blowing it a tit and have some growiag to do. and don't want to admit ut) There's not much pay off for you m saymg. in effect. “Unosc people doa 't see me as perfect hhhe 1] do they hase a probicem ~ You are more hkely to find Ube pay off by saving “Hey here's where [can do a fitile growing up heck with pretending [im just cunous Pm BOTHERED {) something Dhe very best for ™> lo and am gonng lar about u 7” you’ Roller coaster emotions QUESTION: | have high periods and lows. When Pve really been on top tor a while, | can capect eo bho period to follow Asy commenti? STEWART: HW your ap: and downs are in the cxtremc, o7 fo they occur rather oftcn | bcheve you would be wise to sore Knot counsclhng and look rato 1 unharnediy | am confident that. cven of your @ ap citreme ssluatagn. you will find sadecas and un GQcrstanding that will hcip you level things rewardimgly Mecanwhialc. consider Qecse geucthom Arc you Pulling om an “act” an yuu tugh penodal os that matics i your hoe ponods” out fos Wen vou arc in a high do you fecl aon too pood to be real” Wheo you arc ina tagh dh yeu tech hhe you do at really descrve a” Deo you fect in one of your “up” that you arc and that yoo dcacewvc to be puanhed by a how”? times flaking Why not husband and wife? QUESTION: 1 attended o« howealy wetdibag the other Gay ft wan fost right. up eat) the preachea: asld “1! pronossce you man ami wie ~ The bothered oe thet beasfoces of audi wile You wera hoe: “1 propoeance yor woman amd hasband” @0 you? | cast hmagtioe Che proaches: se ying, “1 prompcemce you man and vomen ~ bet what's) wrong wtth ms | pProncam « vou hashbaad amit w fie 7 STEWARILI. K ages - Ae mught be briptul to: wou to ash the preacher tbc same qgecsbemn as yuo hare ashod anc We guay leave ged ands, Che hata that atrange Prloeavougacc ment thinking what he s Me may agrees sate of making wat hasut anoying a Oh fo yww are chm ben you camald tear cut thm tat yoo arm mre amd mat) ot te free fam be carn {0 the me ant deg anata. ally stan ko in io prs ube wmhag asthe satin proceccadaar te will grvbsatsly by grate tes! Cn iT ask hayden stewart Stop kissing QUESTION: If there's one thing chat pets up my dander these days in’s the way the young people hold hands and beg and kiss right out in public. | may be old- fashioned, bat I think it is right down im front of the platiorm where everyone could see them! There's just wo excuse fow that. | suppose you will disagree with me. STEWART: Yes, I suppose I will, I am really very sorry that you feel hke you do. In fact . I am so sarry that I promise you here and now that if you come to one of MY meetings, [ll give you a good tig hug! I expect what's gomg on these days is, im part. a fad. But it’s a good, honest,warm fad and | hope wo hves on. 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