4 - Sunday, January 11, 1987 - North Shore News Bob Hunter THIS IS my post-Christmas piece. The fact of the matter is that Christmas sucks. Oh, not 100 per cent, of course. My suess is that at feast (vo or three per cent of Christmas is fine. It’s the remaining 97 or 98 per cent that is the awful part. A neighbor banged open my door a couple of nights after Christmas. ‘*‘We've got an emergency,”’ she barked, charging for the phone to call the am- bulance. A guy had thrown himself in front of somebody’s pick-up truck. Grabbing a sleeping bag and a flashlight, I left with the neighbor to help out. An unshaven young man in a pea-jacket and jeans was laid out flat on his back in the middle of the road with the driver who had hit him on his knees, trying des- perately to sooth him. The pick-up’s bumper was all covered with blood. “What happened?’’ I asked the injured man, covering him. “I tried to do myself in,"’ he Citizen aids police VANCOUVER RCMP were able to arrive at the scene of a crime within a minute, after an NORTH alert’ citizen called to report an auto theft in progress. A police spokesman said four men were cornered in the under- ground parking lot at 1445 Ches- terfield and arrested. They were charged with posses- sion of instruments suitable for breaking into automobiles, and theft from autos. Charged are Chun Lin Chang, 21, of Vancouver, and three young offenders whose names cannot be released, The spokesman said RCMP welcome calls from the public, which in this case helped aid them in crime prevention. LEN MACHT ACCIDENT REPORT ‘The guy was all over the road. | had to swerve a number of times before } nit him.” COrlistOn 980-4581 1315 COTTON DR. NORTH VAN. @ strictly personal ® said flatly, staring into space. It was then thar To saw the slash marks on his left wrist — four or five of them. Right deross. They had stopped bieeding. That was why he had thrown himself in front of the truck. “) knew | should have tried the bridge,"’ he said to himself. After that § couldn't think of anything f wanted to say or ask. We waited for the ambulance in silence. It was, as T say, just a couple of days after Christmas...And that's not a coincidence. I knew, of course. that) the suicide sate takes a fantastic Jeap arou | Christmas time. The statistics tell us so. 1 just hadin't seen the human reality before. Why do people kill themselves around Christmas time? Maybe the question should be: Why don’t) more people — kill themselves around Christmas time? The season to be jolly is anything but. Absolutely everyone 1 know complains to me about Christmas. Be honest. Can you name anvbods sho deca) gripe and biech about ae Yetowe all ger suckered ino one more Ume. Some fiends of ming have a daughter white is vers hes used her as an excuse to stay home and not hese any visitors throughout Christmas, When | talked toons friend afterwards, he sounded relaxed and ready to fice the universe deain. For them, Christmas had actual ly turned out to be a holidiy. For the rest of us. ih was a time of enormous stress. Most people drink too much. They know tt. The bigeest: specific complaint | hear alter Christmas is the one about being sick to death from alcohol poisoning. sich. The next maiar gripe is the cost. fo think we wound up spending something like $2,000 on Christmas this year. [t's not just that our combined families keep on growing, It's inflation, { couldn't believe it. The main tey our kid wanted cost $62.50! A tay for an eight year old! Insane! And on a planet where a child dies every two seconds somewhere from starvation or a disease caused by matnutrition. [ mean, it's actually disgusting. And when | see pictures of bargain-crazed consumers flooding the department stores on Boxing Day, | simply can’t imagine where their heads are at. It must be some primitive herd impulse. Normally, [| am a frugal man. The one item I spend freely on is experience. Pleasure. Food. Trav- el ditthe adventures. just den’: wet any Kicks feom buying rfunes, unless Pabsolutely need them. Yet Christmas forces me to courh up outraggaus amounts of dough to bus dumb gifts for peo- pis. none of whom happen to need anvthing. Or if they do, it's almost never what they eet anyway. Those percentages fo vave at the top probably match the numbers of people for whom Christmas is a genuine religious esxperience. Otherwise, as purely a commer- cit hype. My fitde girl is two years old. This was the first Christmas she really noticed what was going on. She loved it of course. And isn’t it wonderful that she now has not one but ovo Cubbage Patch dolls? Just in case she needed more dolls. At last count, she had three dozen! Anyway, by the time Christmas Dr. was done sith, she had added a new word to her vocabulary, which she went areund applying to eversthing, Phe word was: My." The crucdest twist to Christinas is the Tact that the most goes to the few who need it the least. The ones who need it the most get nothing at all. Like that guy lying out on the road with his slashed wrists. We used to laugh at the Indians for their potlatch ceremonies. In fact, the potlatch was banned for a long time because it had got out of control, corrupted by the white man's technology. Well, Christmas is out of control too. | think it would be very good for all of us if it was banned. That's right. Prohibited. Made il- legal. Forbidden. {t could go underground, where it might become fun again. L.E. Mallin (formerly at Westview Shopping Centre) wishes to announce the relocation of his office for the practice of Dentistry to Lonsdale Place Dental Group Effective January 16, 1987 #400 - 1200 Lonsdale Ave. (entrance via 12th St.) North Vancouver, B.C. Telephone 988-7030 ey EQUIPMENT — PARTY — TOOLS — MEDICAL TOOLS & EQUIPMENT ae CONTRACTORS EQUIPMENT Genorators, Heaters Vibrators Jack Hammors Pumps Compaction Equipment POWER TOOLS | Drills & Routers t cee Grinders, Sanders Saws LAWN & GARDEN TOOLS 4, Lawn Rollers & Austlers &% Sproadors Py Mowers & Edgers Tillers & Power Rakes * FLOOR CARE EQIUPMENT Rug Shampooors Sanders Vacuum Cloaners Steam Rug Shampocers f ONE CALL DOES IT ALL A FULL LINE OF EQUIPMENT FOR THE CONTRACTOR AND THE HOME PAINTERS EQUIPMENT Ladders Walt Paper Steamers Texture Sprayers Scatloiding Alrless Sprayers Pressure Washers =e « PARYY NEEDS Sparkling Clean Dishes & Gisssos Punch Sowls * EXEACISE EQUIPMENT Belt Vibrators Speed Bikes da a * ENTERTAINMENT PA System Megaphone Projector Tables & Chalrs HANDYMAN PARTY RENTALS © PARTY CANOPIES Matching Umbrellas * BBQ's Pancake Griddles Disposables * MEDICAL EQUIPMENT Wheel Chairs Crutches, Walkers Hospital Beds * GUEST NEEDS Rollaway Beds Cribs, High Chairs ¢ Lonsdale Rental Centres e “Through-Out The Nortn Shore To Serve You Better” LONSDALE TOOL RENTALS 1113 Lonsdale Avenue N. Vancouver 1985-9321 ‘LONSDALE PARTY RENTALS 1121 Lonsdale Avenue N. Vancouver 986-5651 EDGEMONT EDGEMONT RENTAL CENTRE 3095 Woodbine Drive N. Vancouver 984-0301 LYNN VALLEY | LYNN VALLEY RENTALS 3022 Mountain Hwy. N. Vancouver 986-2338. Rent and Save from the location closest to you!