40 - Sunday, April 26, 1992 —- North Shore News Relationship not criterion for maintenance MY FORMER wife and I divorc- ed six years ago when my son was 14 and my daughter was 10 years of age. Family Affairs KIRSTIE MACLISE HUGH STARK The separation and subsequent divorce were acrimonious. The main issue was my access to my children. My wife at the time at- tempted to turn the children against me and in fact succeeded in ruining my relationship with my son although my daughter still visits with me regularly. My son has done extremely well at university and will be radusting next year with a achelor of Commerce degree. His mother has said that if I do not continue to support him as I have always done in the past she will take me to court. In even the recent past my son has been verbally abusive to me. Will I be ordered to continue to support my son until he finishes university even though he shows me no respect and [ have no relationship with him? Unfortunately, your situation happens with all too great a fre- quency and little is done by our courts to assist the recipient parent. Even in cases where the children are up to 25 years of age and have never made an effort to have any relationship with the non-custodial parent, the courts have awarded maintenance. That does. not mean in your cir- cumstances maintenance ’ automatically would be continued. However, it does not appear to be a criterion for maintenance, even after 19 years of age, that the child show any respect for his or her parent who is being called upon to support him or her. am presently paying my former wife $500 per month for my son. While I am quite willing to pay to ensure that he enjoys a reasonable lifestyle, I am getting increasingly annoyed by the fact that she promises my son that he can participate in an activity, but then when the time comes to reg- ister him for it she does not regis- ter. It seems to be a behavior that happens quite regularly. She earns 8 substantial income as a dental hygienist and is well able to con- tribute at least partially to his support. Cen I pay for the lessons and activities that he wants and deduct the cost of those lessons from the maintenance payments? No, you cannot deduct those payments from your maintenance. Assuming your wife has custody of your son, it is she that has the authority to involve him = in various activities and to spend the maintenance money where she deems it appropriate. The problem appears to be one of parenting. From the little information you have provided, it appears that your son is being used in some way perhaps to bolster her feeling of control over both of you. Rather than resort to something as drastic as reducing maintenance and possibly causing court in- volvement, you should attempt to involve the child’s mother in counselling. My husband left my two children and me eight months ago and despite requests by my lawyer for financial information, he has not produced any financial state- meats for the company in which he is a shereholder, nor has he produced his detailed income tax retuens for any year but this past year. He has told me that because his company is a private compuny and has a shareholders’ agreement which stipulates that shareholders are aot allowed to release finan- cial information, be does not need to provide that information to me and my lawyer. He further has stated that the income he has received for this past year is the only income that the court will jook at in deciding the quantum of maintenance for my children and myself. Is this true? There is nothing to compel your Hf dedicated to results.. ® personal injury ¢ divorce ¢ wrongful dismissal ¢ general litigation ¢ conveyancing ® wills and estates BALDWIN COMPANY Law Office Uf Lynn Valley Centre 985-8000 hushand to produce his financial information prior to an action be- ing started in court, other than the norrnal desire of each party to set- tle their affairs rather than to fight. Once an action in court with respect to property has been started, however, then he must produce a statement showing his assets, liabilities, income and ex- penses. He must also provide his income tax returns for the last three years. Whether he likes it or not, once served with a demand for discovery of documents he must also produce his sharcholders’ agreement, financial statements for the company and, at least, all other information to which he is entitled as a shareholder under the Companies Act. 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