4 38 ~ Sunday, October 9, 1988 - North Shore News LIFESTYLES UNCONVENTIONAL LIVING ARRANGEMENTS COOL DEAR MISS MANNERS — I share an apartment with a very good friend of mine who happens to be of the opposite Sex. We share the apartment because we are both students (I am an un- dergraduate and he is a gvaduate), because we enjoy being with each other, and because our bsckgrounds and upbringings are similar and we are able to create a home-away-from-home at- mosphere. The problem is that even if cer- tain people are aware of our sim- ply platonic relationship, they sometimes make comments about activities that mighi occur between my roommate and me when we are aloue. . How do I behave when someone makes such a comment? In the past, I have simply stated that we are just good friends, or have ig- nored it. Also, how do 1 convince my parents thet there is no wed- ding to be planned? GENTLE READER — Miss . Manners understands that shared living quarters do not necessarily indicate romantic involvement, and indeed may preclude its development, as‘ when ‘‘incest taboos’? develop in coeducational - dormitories. But she does not‘ expect such understanding of everyone brought up in racier times, when the presumption was that anyone given the opportunity would be up to no good. Nor should you. You are living in a manner that must still , It’s where you look that gets results! be classified as unconventional, and therefore you must endure mistaken assumptions with good grace, correcting them politely. For most people the mere state- miss manners Judith Martin ment that you and your roommate are friends is enough,.but you owe your parents a fuller explanation. They might understand if you call- ed it a brother-sister relationship. DEAR NSS MANNERS — Ali my wedding expenses are being tad Quire fe feCeptionis Sessin, ing an ban amates are just paid by my mother and me, and we must iry to stay within a budget. For this reason, we have given the groom’s family a limit for the number of guests they’re allowed to invite. Was this the proper thing to do? Also, is it OK to suggest that if ‘they wish to invite more than the limit we’ve set, they should pay for the additional guests themselves? It costs a jot per person, and extra people add up. GENTLE READER — Reason- . able as your case seems to be, Miss Manners does not quite like the idea of selling guest slots to the bridegroom’s family, May she ask you, instead simply to confess to them the budgetary problem, and gracefully accept any financial help they may offer to enlarge the wed- ding? ‘DEAR MISS MANNERS — My daughter (divorced) has three grown children, all in their 20s, liv- ing at home. She owns a duplex, and one daughter with a baby lives on one side. The doors to both P1550 Penterton Uther Kamarvations, FR STN Wad a Mag tees Fe When you read the North Shore News Classified Section, you get the connections you need to find what you're looking for. Every issue, the North Shore News connects you with buyers and sellers: all over the North Shore. People just like you who want to buy a new.home or sell a used car, look to the North Shore News Classifieds to make their connections with the marketplace. You'll find jobs, education, rental opportunities and more! All those connections, right at your fingertips in an organized and easy to read format. Everyone knows the right connections get results. Who would have thought that getting those connections could be as easy as reading the North Shore News Classifieds? Don’t miss an opportunity, Check out the North Shore News Classified section three times weekly and Make the Classified Connection!! ‘north THE VOICE OF NORTH AND WEST VANCOUVER SUNDAY ¢ WEDNESDAY - FRIDAY 986-6222 _ Classified apartments are always open, 2 hall separating them. It is like living in a whole one-family house. As a widowed grandmother, when I ask them over for dinner or to celebrate something, I call and ask my daughter to bring them all over. She insists that as they are adults, each should be asked sepa- rately. I don’t think they need special invitations. GENTLE READER — Evidently, they do need something more in the way of invitations, as they are not visiting you without them. Adult children, even thosc living in a family complex, maintain their own social and prefessional schedules. 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