44 - Wednesday, May 23. 1090 -

North shore News

Wife has right

to say

‘nol’

Q. MY HUSBAND has a certain oral sexual demand that [
definitely don’t want to do, 1 have cooperated with him up

to a point,

but I find it very uncomfortable, even painful.

The thought of it makes me nauseous.

He does not understand that I
have a right to deny him this sex-
ual desire. He says I'm uptight and
if TL loved him, I'd allow him to do
it. L don't know what to do. How
can [handle this problem?

If vou find it disagreeable,
you have the right .o say so. No
name-calling on his part is going to
help. You need to discuss it. If he
still insists on it, there may be
other problems in that relation-
ship.

You are willing to go part of the
way. He must be willing to go the
other part. If he isn’t, something
else is wrong.

Dr. Ruth
Dr. Ruth Westheimer
a ee ee

Q. Is there an average age when
a female is able to have an
orgasm? I'm 19 and have had a
steady boyfriend for over a year
and a half and am unable to
climax. This is an incredibly im-
portant and sensitive topic to me.

My boyfriend feels hurt. § feel
helpless and sad. Is this a mentat
or physical problem of mine? Or
does it have to do with my age?
Am FE too young to climax?

A. Nobody is too young. First,
try to bring yourself to orgasm.
Then you will know how to teach

him to stimulate you. Of course, it
is very important to both of you
that you find sex pleasurable and
have orgasms. But don't worry
about it. You're only 19.

And don't make him upset
about it. He is teeling inadequate
for ny good reason. So are you.
Enjoy the time you have together
and put less pressure on yourself
and him.

Q. EU had a 15-year-Jong sexual
relationship with my brother-in-
law. He is seven years younger
than me. Now he is 49 and [ am
56. Five years ago he broke off the
relationship. His reason was my
age. He said he thought women
over 50 were “over all that,”
meaning not interested in sex
anymore.

When [ tel! him 1 am climbing
the walls with desire for him and
grieving overs the loss of our sexual
relationship, he pitts me off. Is if
really my age? And is he right that
women my age should be finished
with sex?

A. Not true. People can be sex-
ually interested and active until 99
if they are in good health. Maybe
his wife found out about your af-
fair and told him if he didn’t stop,
he would be in the street. Or
maybe he is having an affair with
someone else.

Perhaps the issue of age is his
problem, not yours. Maybe he
can’t satisfy more than one woman
at the same time anymore. And it
could be that he felt guifty about
cheating and doesn’t want to do
that anymore.

Q. Is it true that premature
ejaculation can be cured or at least
helped? Please let me know where
I can get help in overcoming my
problem.

A. Yes, premature ejaculation
can be easily cured. It is a learning
disability, not a deep-seated
psychological problem. Thanks to
Dr. William Masters and Virginia
Johnson and Helen Singer Kaplan,
we do have a method for dealing
with premature ejaculation.

If you can see a sex therapist,
that would be good.

Port Day events planned

From page 43
“reasonable weather,"’ Port Day
°90 is expected to set another at-
tendance record this year, topping
the 12,000 mark.

Among the star attractions of
the Port Day’s North Shore events,
which will be taking place at the
Waterfront Park and the Pacific
Marine Training Institue (PMT),
are free 45-minute harbor cruises.
These cruises are by ticket only
and are on a first come, first serv-
ed basis.

Other North Shore exhibits and
events include minature rail
demonstrations in the B.C. Rail
building, radio-controlled model
ships in the PMTI's_ reflecting
pool, a B.C. Transit/Seabus open

house, land-sea rescue demonstra-
tions and a dangerous goods spill
demonstration.

Some of the North Shore based
groups taking part in Port Day ‘90
include Seaspan International Lid,
and North Shore Rescue.

Other than the North Shore,
Port Day °90 events will also take
place on the South Shore at the
Main Street Dock, located at the
north foot of the Main Street
overpass and at Westshore Termi-
nals at Delta’s Roberts Bank.

The offical hours of Port Day
"90 are from TO a.m. and 4 p.m.
Because parking facilities are
limited, it is suggested the public
use B.C. Transit buses to get to the
Lonsdale Quay transit station.

ENRICH
YOUR FAMILY LIFE

Host an overseas student.
Remuneration for room and board.
Short or long terms available.

CALL STUDENT HOUSING COORDINATOR

683-1199

Pacific Coast Language Schooi
#200 - 535 Howe St.

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