UESTION: For a few years now, people have been labelling me and I have been refusing to accept the label as appropriate or just. The tag they give me is WORKAHOLIC. I have vehemently denied being a workaholic and with a tot of patience and with all the logic ican muster, I have carefully “explained that I really enjoy my work, that I choose to work early and late and that I do it quite happily and not with any sense of urgency or pressure. I just want to. My arguments have not been convincing to my wife who says she understands them and believes I am sincere about them, but who also keeps telling me that I don’t know what [’'m missing in being tied to my work. She says I have not given myself the chance to enjoy other things besides work and that J have no way of knowing how much more fun I could be having if I would only allow myself to learn to relax and even loaf. { have never really listened to her viewpoint, let alone paid attention to it. I've always thought she didn’t know what she was talking about and was just nagging about my hours. However, almost a year ago I was forced to ease up quite a bit. At first it almost drove me round the bend, but after awhile I started to ac- cept the fact that I might just as well find another way to use up my days instead of fuming over not working. To shorten this letter I will just say I began to enjoy be- ing a little bit more laid back and decided that I would con- tinue my new enforced pat- Vern even after the need for it ended and I would be able to go all out again. Now I know that I simpty do not want to be a workaholic, and 1 also know that Iam one. I simply can- not relax the way I’d like to. It won’t work for me. So, my question is, how do I go about being less tied to work- ing far more than I need to? STEWART: It’s good that you are now aware that you don’t want to be a workaholic. Some people find it very hard to take that step. There are all sorts of books to read and groups to join that could be helpful to you. So I will not try to give you a wide-ranging answer, but rather, will draw your atten- tion to something that you may turn into help. Perhaps, like so many workaholics, you learned at an early age to be convinced that there are some valuable benefits that come to workaholics. Have you worked harder than you now want to, to get rich? Or to be admired? Or to have respect? Or to prove to your detractors that you were a ‘‘success’’? Or to feed your fear of failure? Or to con- vince yourself that you are a better man than you used to wee NEWS photo ‘Egge v rtson MAMIE INKSTER, left, and Ivy Hamblin had smilies on their faces when they were served a Mother's Day pancake breakfast Sunday at Silver Harbor Centre. Countr y Weekend It’s the best of Harrison - and a whole lot more. The Sauth Shores motel ofters luxury condominium accommodation right on the beach. With futly equipped kitchens and all the comforts of home Get the best of Harrison at tamily vacation prices Just ask your travel agent or call (604) 796-2165 tor information and a tree colour brochure. C23 - Wednesday, May 16, 1984 - North Shore New. think? Or to be an example of a ‘‘hard-worker’’ to your kids? Or to give you what seemed like a good excuse for not being closer to your wife? Ask yourself what benefits orkaholic wants to change ask hayden stewart Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at 261-6242 for appointments for individual, familv or group counselling. YOU were after and if it is worthwhile for you to con- tinue slaving to secure them. INVESTMENT CERTIFICATES AND DEBENTURES interest Paid Annually. Rate Subject to Change. 777 Homby Street, Phone 688-9421 1101 West Georgia Street, Phone 685-1066 FirnsiCiy Trust First City Trust Co./First City Mortgage Co - Member Canada Deposit insurance Corporation Crossley Karastan CARPETS vou always wanted ... vou can now afford SALE 2ogermmonct - Carpet Cx Ling T= Centre LEO. Shrowroont sat 1083 Rossevelé Crescent. North Vancouver (2 streets behind Che Avalon) ti 985-0011 € Me I EXPERT INSTALLATION NO OBLIGATION ESTIMATES “4 ~