Terms of endearmen

MY recent column
about how the
Obergruppenfuehrers
in Victoria changed the
name of Chinaman’s
Lake made a few dogs
bark.

And hardly had they
stopped than there was news
that in Virginia there’s a
move to get rid of that
state’s official anthem, which
is Carry Me Back to Old
Virginia.

I didn’t know it was any-
body’s anthem. And it
seemed OK to me when we
warbled it in Boy Scout sing-
songs. But the Yankee word
police want to get rid of it

cause is contains refer-
ences to “darkies” and “mas-
sas.”

Never mind that the song
was written by a black musi-
cian freed from slavery.
Clearly, the poor old chap
had the «wrong ideas, not
having had the misfortune to
go to Harvard, UBC, or any
other place where they pray
to DAD, the Devil of
Alleged. Decency.

Wherever you look, word
obliterators are out with
their erasers. And they are .
not confined to the ranks of
former hippies, neo-
Bolsheviks, and over-educat-

ed university chutfs.

There was a piece in The
Weekly Telegraph recently,
about how “Anglo- Celts” --
meaning Brits in Australia —
are bitching about being
called “Pommy bastards.”

Whar’s wrong with that?
It’s a term of endearment.

But the wonderfully
named Chris Puplick, head
of the Australian Anti-
Discrimination Board, has
been reported as saving that
22% of the complaints he
gets come from “Anglo-
Celts” who object to being
called “whingeing Pommy
bastards.”

Tell you what, Puplick.
You just tell them that if
they don’t like it they can
always bloody well go back
where they came from. If
you have any trouble, just
tell them I said so.

Failing that, they could
always do a Crocodile
Dundee and toss a schooner
of Foster’s over the offend-
ing bloke’s head. Every real
Aussie would understand
that.

As far as I can gather,
Puplick hasn’t taken action
on the complaints. Nor
should he. There should be
at least one small corner of
political incorrectness left for
people like Mooncalf Mair to
get his knickers in a knot
over. (Mooncalt: a born
idiot.)

Graeme Campbell, one of
the gutsiest MPs in Oz, calls
himself “a 10-pound Pom,”
meaning his parents paid 10
quid to take him aut to
Australia when he was a kid,
courtesy of the Oz govern-
ment.

The whingers do have

one small point. While
astard™ is permis-
sible under the Australian
discrimination laws,
Wog,” and
HtC., are NOT.

Officially, that is. But go
into anv pub Down Under
and the Janguage hasn‘t
changed a bit. The boozers
are really good biokes.

Pommy bashing has long
been Australia’s favorite pas-
time. Why deny Serines their
little pleasures?

They often let themselves
go full blast at the test
matches. Cricket, you know.

As the London paper stat-
ed, a pig was released at one
game with the English cap-
tain’s name on it, “forcing a
posse of policemen into a
Chaplinesque chase.”

Ha ha!

Cricket has ceased being a
game for gentlemen, of
course. [t's probably the
Yank influence. And if we
can‘t blame the Yanks let’s
blame the Barbadians, who
are getting too big for their
britches.

Incidental intelligence:

“Pom” is apparently short
for * *pomegranate,” a cor-
ruption of “immigrant.”

Rising to the bait, the
London Evening Standard
got into this act with an edi-
torial. The “whingcing
Pom,” it said, “is a reality.”
But then it put the knife in.

“In Australia, of course,
he has every reason to be.
Australians are the most
morbidly small-minded,
petty nationalistic, chippy,
insecure, oversensitive
houseplants ever to find their
way out of the greenhouse.”

Wow! Would you ever

POINTS TO PONDER

While

Sunday, February 16, 1997 - North Shore News — 7

INJURED IN,A ”
CAR ACCIDENT?

Call
DEREK A. CAVE

Trial Lawyer
Get the settlement
you deserve.

7508, Kapilano 700 Building 925 7880

read anything like that in our 100 Park Royal, West Van.
daily press? Equality forev:
Let's show the crack-brained
word cops that there's noth-
ing selective about our polit-
ically incorrect barbs.

In that spirit The
Telegraph ran a couple of
good racist jokes.

Question: What the dif-
ference between an
Australian and a pot of
yogure?

Answer: A pot of yogurt
has a living culture.

Question: How do you
define a well-balanced
Australian?

Answer: He has a chip on
both shoulders.

Anyway, Virginia, hold
tight — darkies, massas and
all, Whatever you do, don’t
follow the Canadian exam-

DRAPERIES & BLINDS
BY S.LAURSEN & SON

ple.

We dropped The Maple
Leaf For Ever years ago.
Mustn‘t upset those whinge-
ing wackheads in Quebec
with hymns of praise to
General Wolfe.

— The North Shore News
believes strongly in freedom of
speech and the right of all
sides in a debate to be heard.
The columnists published in
the News present differing
points of view, bur those views
are not necessarily those of the
newspaper itself.

Another one of our designs.

For Free Estimates call 987-2966
Free Installation.

Serving the North Shore for 25 years

- nat I; as given, I made
better. what I made
better, I then improved: he
what I inproved, I sirive

Quatty appearance is not accidental.
id, dramatic framing is sometimes justified,
most often the best picture does not have frame
and matting which compete with the artwork but
gracefully compliments it for maximum pleasure
and enjoyment. To achieve this the framer should
have the ability and years of experience to assist
you in making the “just right” decisions.

Choose a framer who takes an intense pride in
his finished work. Talk to the person who
actually does the work rather than the sates clerk
who started two months ago. Get a feeling as to
whether the person is knowledgeable and has a
flair for colour coordination and takes a personal
interest in the art to be framed. You may wish to
avoid high profile, mass production, so-called
“custom framers who are more interested in
volume than quality. Ask if the work is done on
the premises or is it sent out to their central
production facility.

Many of my customers ask me why framing
prices are so exorbilant. Well - you don't have to
pay these high prices. Customers tell me my
price’s are amongst the lowest in the industry.
Wouldn't it be wonderful to find a framer with the
above qualifications and a reasonable price?
Check around, or give me a call.

HERB OSTERBAUER

RETIRED PROFESSIONAL PICTURE FRAMER
WEST VANCOUVER

922-7878 For appointments

to pertect. iy “body 3 vas |
a git. I honor ibe

o

your move.

Make

Let us help you look & feel better.
Call Today!

986-9177

} 125-949 W 3rd Street North Vancouver § |

1 Block south of ilisiid Mall

Integrity and Honesty for

aff your Real Estate needs.

Lube, on & filter change

988-2186 aie ay

623-5020 H 1362 Marine Drive 980-9115)
Open 7 7 devs a week Mon-Sat 8:00.:2-6:00pm, Sun. 9:00am-5:00pm

er atvant: y ay prcived compet” “80'S coupon of equal vaive accepted Expires Vchruary W797
Ens OC SM fied Ser Oe eS Se ee ee

Res:
Pager:
Sutton Group West Coast Realty