36 - Sunday, November 19, 1989 - North Shore News LIFESTYLES PERSONAL ADS Be prepared for disappointments DEAR MISS MANNERS — I recently ran a personal ad and got several replies, all of which [| felt compelled to answer, because one always answers personal letters from human beings. Although my ad clearly em- phasized that I place great impor- tance on intelligence, [ received one marginally illiterate, partially iNegible reply, which could only have come from a wholly incom- patible person. I replied with what I believe was a kindly worded frank rejection letter. I thanked the person for her interest, did my best to place the onus on myself (i.e., “i'm proba- bly too cerebral! for you’? rather than “You're not smart enough for me’’), and wished her the very best. What effect, if any, does the anonymity of the personal ads have on the rules of courtesy? Would it have been kinder of me simply not to answer this letter? Would some sort of white lie have been appropriate? Were Miss Manners a gentleman, how would she have worded what amounts to a rejection of a lady on the grounds of intellectual incapacity? GENTLE READER — Imagin- ing that she is a gentlemaa running @ personal advertisement is too difficult for Miss Manners. So she will try to imagine that she is the lady in question, in order to determine whether she would prefer the reply you sent or no response at all. In both instances, she finds herself thinking, ‘‘Aha! He thinks he is too good for me.” This is not a pleasant experience, but it goes with the territory. One should not use personal advertising if one is unprepared for abrupt rejection. On the whole, Miss Manners thinks she would prefer the uncer- tainty which would permit her to believe that her letter had been lost or that you had married someone who wrote in first. Nevertheless, she admires your politeness in replying at all and in putting the excuse on yourself. DEAR MISS MANNERS — In this time of so many ‘‘warm and CaRAVAN IMPORTS FORMERLY OF LONSDALE QUAY OFFERS OUR PRE-XMAS STOCK! ® Giant balsa parrots and Ceramics from the Amazon * Hand-spun weavings and pillows © Appliqued Panamanian ‘motas’ and Peruvian ‘arpilleras’ (panels and sweaters) © Woven shawls, scarves and hand-knit woolen sweaters © Mini Ecuadorian rag dolls INQUIRIES: JUNE CASTRO 980-8110 miss manners Judith Martin caring human beings,"’ what can a “private person’’ do to ward oft the popular bear hugs of the masses? Not being a ‘‘warm and 2NeERGS BIK — EXCELLENT DESIGN — " Axel’ 1852 MARINE DR., WEST VAN. 226-6242 “Real caring human being,”’ | consider such unwanted intimacy an affront to my dignity. Please advise. GENTLE READER - Are you really being hugged by the masses? Are you inquiring about polite manners toward cult figures? The defence is to get in there first with the appropriate gesture for a cordial greeting. You stick your hand out to shake hands, and allow it to serve the additional purpose of preventing others from getting too close. ES gle ¢Fstate BY IVAR FOSSEN mae (REALTOR) GETTING READY TO BUY Once you've made the decision to buy a home you can take some preliminary steps to mabe the whole process easier and quicker Hopeful: ly. these will help vou to get ine Nause you eant and prevent it {rom sipping through yGur hands into tnose of anolher potential buyer ITyou have nol purchased real estate betore, the minutes betore you sign the Contract of put- chase ana sale 1s a poor hme to tamibanze yourselt with this legat document: You may fing yourself +n a pressure-packed campetng otter Situation woth itite ume to tevievs the contract form Itts Dest fo have your agent reviews and explam tne docutnent to you Oefore tne neca to use st arses The Most important factor in buying proper: tyis the tinancing The mos! common conaitian placed on otters to purchase 1s tne “'sudject to financing’” clause. This condition can be quickened of even eliminated by grting pre- apptuval tora mortgage amount Once you have mace "he decision to purchase visit a tach manager oF Mortgage broker oF have yout {recommend ore Prepare yoursell by get etter ot verihcaton af empioyment and nmes of your T-4 ships ada st of your “Dts and Ob gation coneitar. trat may be considered on an otter ts “subyect fo an insnection report Alt? Gugh tne oressure of 4 fast market vatt not alviayS alttow you Ins juaury ites best to get the INsDHCHON, It NECEssary, Gone Yetore you Put in ale offer These pomts snoulad assist you io wnite a cleaner and sttong offer to purchase anc ropetully get you tne nome of your creams Finally do not forget your creque Dock and hive your Gepost tunds reacy Rememper beng prepared counts! MAY | BE OF ASSISTANCE TO YOU?? CALL IVAR FOSSEN 686-1740 pgr. m sutton group-sentinel realty B AN INDEPENDENT MEMBER BROKER WHAT IS YOUR HOME WORTH TODAY? 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