26 - Sunday, July 3, 1994 - North Shore News Over(rap)ture ITALIAN PHYSICS student Lino Missio, 26, announced in Rome in May that he had just patented a con- dom that will play Beethoven if it breaks during use. The condom is coated with a substance that changes electrical conductivity upon rupture, setting off a microchip that produces the sound. Missio said he might include, instead of music, a verbal warning to the participants to stop what they're doing immediately. In June, the first official World Toe-Wrestling Championship was ‘held in Derbyshire, England. Contestants place one foot on the floor, lock big toes, and try to force the top of the other person's foot down as in arm wrestling. aee : In October in West Palm Beach, Florida, a judge was forced to declare a mistrial for religious Jeader Clarence “Brother Bill” Williams, who had been accused of having sex with a teen-age girl. The girl testified that Williams is circumcised, but Mrs. Williams tes- _, tified that he is not, and juror Peggy ‘Kiltau attempted to resolve this conflict ‘by quoting for jurors -. Genesis.17:10, which calls on all men to be circumcised, thus indicat- SOMETHING LOADED WITH§ ARTERY-CLOGGING CHO- LESTEROLT?...OR HOw ‘BO ‘}SOMETHING LTH WAY Took UCH CAFFEINE AND REFINED MIND? WouLD | MIND?! HECK, | LIVE JUST To SERVE YOu! WHAT CAN I IGET YOU, YOUR WORSHIP? LUDICROSITY “Saudi NEWS OF THE WEIRD . Compiled by A.P. McCredie ing that Williams must be guilty. Recent tragedies befalling peo- ple while worshiping: At least 250 Muslims were trampled to death while inching toward a cave for the symbolic stoning of the devil dur- ing the annual pilgrimage i in Mecca, Arabia, in May; .19 Tanzanian Seventh-Day Adventists drowned trying to walk on water as atest of faith near Dar Es Salaam in October; more than 100 drowned near Calcutta in January as two boats returning from a Hindu pil- grimage collided; three churches were destroyed and 19 worshipers killed during Palm Sunday services when tomadoes struck in Piedmont, Alabama. In November, sculptor Rachel Whiteread, 30, won the coveted Turner Prize as the best British artist of the year during a show at the Tate Gallery in London. During that show, she was also voted worst British artist by the K. Foundation. The prize money — about $60,000 in pound notes nailed in clumps to a board — was twice the amount of the Turner Prize. : Reviewing a body of art by min- imalist Richard Serra in November (of which “Well Wrought”, a large drawing consisting only of a black rectangle within a white square, was typical), the Los Angeles Times’ critic described the work as known for its “inflexible austerity, ungiving impenetrability and stub- born bombast.” Also, the work was described as “sensuous, exquisite and delicate”, and “extremely weighty, grave, authoritative” and “of fugitive beauty.” © Ron Matzov Wi A LITTLE LESS SARCASM IN " my bier. SUGAR? EWTHER GAY, (T'S Now WERE Ba WORK Ii RIDICULOUS HOURS AN PUTTING UP wh sri, Batter? SUPERVISRS. WHY LUNATIC FRINGE © Blackwood I'M_STUFFED... HOW ‘BOUT YOU GUYS? feenetews Lever ® ee _ © Wardo Vertical integration HOROSCOPES Defining the science of unfolding patterns Robert Aiken HEAVENS ABOVE WHAT IS astrology? Astrology is, among other things, a science of relationships and the intuitive art of interpreting those relationships which connect your inner universe to the corresponding greater world. It is a study of growth cycles and patterns of unfoldment. What are its uses? There are many uses, ranging from “material” and “scientific” to “nsychologicai” and “metaphysical” levels of life. Astrological services are extensively being used in busi- ness, medical, industrial and market- ing fields. How can it help me? Astrology can allow you to become aware of your needs, advan- tages and weaknesses. By under- standing yourself to the greatest pos- sible degree, you can cope better with your problems and deal more effectively and efficiently in all areas of your life. Will it infringe upon my free will? Your free will reigns supreme. Astrology does not dictate your moves; it expands your conscious- ness, gives you a broader scope to work within. Astrology gives you a greater control over personal manner and timing of responses, which can lead to successful/right action in life. Is astrology fortune telling? Astrology, which deals with mea- surable evidence and the laws of ~ probability, is no more “fortune telling” than are the sciences of sta- tistics and weather reporting. It could be called “macto-micro-bio- meteorology.” Will it conflict with my rell- gion? Astrology is not a system of belief — but a tcol of recognition/cognition/evaluation. One is able to appreciate even more the depths of spiritual responsibility that lie locked in “outer” struggles for success, happiness, fulfillment. Astrology, properly applied, does not conflict with your religious beliefs and standards. Most religious conflicts occur when one thinks one is asked to “worship” the stars. This is untrue! Is newspaper astrology accu- rate? Newspaper horoscopes are for entertainment. They do not qualify as specific astrological evidence, No two charts are alike. The astrological chart is a precise mathematical rep- resentation of this particular solar system, of which you and all etse are an integral part, at birth; not a vague, general picture meant to entertain an entire reading public! How do I use it in my everyday life? Astrology can help you make more objective decisions and enable you to deal more successfully with child-raising, health, romantic rela- tionships, vocational direction, money. The understanding of your overall life potentials is availablete. you — if you'll only read the signs. » ° It is all within you. As “above” (out there) so “below” (within). _ July 3-9, 1994. ‘TS. «ARIES (March 21-April 20) Lighten up Sunday, Aries. Have a- party, Monday. Tuesday, money matters get boosted. Commpnications improve, mid-week. Changes, Thursday. Be patient. A new view-, point, Friday. Avoid lies and deception, Saturday. Be honest with yourself. Truth works. S$ = TAURUS (Aprit 21-May 21) ly week, Taurus, have a great holiday. Pay attention to your intuition, More opportunities, Wednesday. Fewer obstacles at - home, Thursday. New moon stirs you up, Friday. Saturday, annoyed. Someone hasn't.’ kept his/her word. TU GEMINI (May 22-June 21) Early week, Gemini, you're all revved up. Don't get too distracted. Forward movement, Wednesday. Regarding romance: try new approach, Thursday. Friday, lively! A: Cancer new moon. Slow up, Saturday, Go to an amusing movie. OG) CANCER Gune 27-Joly 23) Turmoil, Sunday, Cancer. Monday, ‘ the future looks brighter. You shine, Tuesday. : Your thinking gets a boost, Wednesday. | Thursday, pay attention to your love life. Be.” sensible, Friday. An emotional day. Saturday, romantic'ups and downs. Be kind... LEO (uly 24-Aug, 23) - Great opportunities for fun, early week, Lec. Cooperate, Tuesday. Mercury direct, Wednesday. A friendship improves. Watch your work, Thursday. New moon, Friday. Be calm. Keep options wide: Open, Saturday. Make no commitments. VIRGO (Aug. 24-Sept. 23) , You don’t mind being with people. ‘. you don’t know, early week, Virgo. Make decisions in your own time. Be attentive, Wednesday. Someone tries to make you"... “wrong” Thursday, Don’t buy. into it. Friday: and Ssturday could be romantic Urtoy0e. : A LIBRA (Sept. 24-Oct. 23) . Stay put, Sunday, Libra.: Avoid unnecessary responsibilities, Monday. You» dare to speak your mind, Tuesday and -° Wednesday. A relationship ct risk. Resist the lure of “bargains,” Thursday. Fridny, a con- frontation with an old friend. Discombobulated home life, Saturday, Stand up for yourself. SCORPIO (Oct, 24-Nov, 22) Don’t neglect health, Sunday, Scorpio. Celebrate life, Monday. Tuesday, a - friend's actions confuse you. Receni problems. tesolved, mid-week. Postpone travel, Thursday. Friday, avoid clashes with authori- ty. Romance, Friday evening and Saturday, A new love? A saGrevanws (Nov. 23.Dec. 21) Consider your partner's need, Sunday, Sagittarius. Good energy around your financial life, early week. Less confusion, fewer delays, mid-week. An inner conflict, Thursday. Talk to someone you trust. Heal an old wound, Friday. Saturday, stand on truth. 4 CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 20) Don't try to do everything all alone, early week, Capricom. A better grip on your health, Wednesday. Thursday, focus on getting along with others, Stay with your familiar rou- tine, Friday. Emotions awakened, Saturday. Move toward your partner. wrrw AQUARIUS (Jan. 21-Feb. 19) A tendency to overspend, Sunday, Aquarius. Enjoy friends and loved ones, Monday. Tuesday, social life further accented. Your thinking lightens up, Wednesday. Thursday, distracted at work. Further mood swings, Friday. Get some rest.- Hard to get your way. Saturday. JE PISCES (Feb. 20-March 20) Choose to have fun this weekend, Pisces. Follow your heart, Tuesday. Don’t sec- ond-guess yourself. Go with first reaction to a work situation, mid-week. Obstacles, Thursday. Friday, a clash with a friend. Take care of your health, Saturday. Robert Aiken is an internationally known astrologer, metaphysician, therapeutic coun- sellor and workshop leader with 35 years experience. He offers empowering psychologi- cally and metuphysically oriented counselling sessions, as well as thorough, in-depth astro- logical readings. Contact Carole: 926-4951. rr Ee ep