30 ~ Wednesday, November 18, 1987 - North Shore News Lifestyles. Q: Iam a divorced woman with years of married sex behind me — and sex wasn’t the reason for our splitting up. Hewever, I never did have an orgasm from intercourse (although T have had many by myself and by being pleasured by my partner). Now I have a lover and I love be- ing in bed with him and would like to have the special pleasure of a vaginal orgasm with him. How should I go about this? A: I like the way you put it — you would like to have this special pleasure with this man. Very likely you will in time, but meanwhile think about a couple of things. First, the distinction between vaginal orgasm and clitoral orgasm is a false distinction. There may be vaginal contractions triggered by clitoral responses, and these may be very pleasurable, but there are no such contractions without clitoral participation. All female orgasms are con- nected to the clitoris. I think that what you want may come if you let yourself enjoy sex with your lover as much as you can, forgetting about having to have those vagina! reactions. In the good sex man- uals, several positions are shown as offering more clitoral stimulation Travel Is possibie for disabiea From pags. 29 with respiratory problems. Check with an airline what kind of ox- ygen pack they allow to carry on to planes. Electric (wheel)chairs with acid batteries are dangerous on an airplane, but some provide a special pan for the battery or you can travel with a gel cell. Travel isn’t kind to a wheelchair. It’s just like any other luggage. To get around rough handling some peo- ple travel with older second chairs,”’ she said. Finlay offers more t~~ 21 tidbits for. wheelchair travellers: * Once liable for luggage damaged in transit to $750,.airlines now of- fer total replacement value for items such as wheelchairs which may cost thousands to replace. * Try to get as ‘close as possible to the plane before boarding and transferring to a boarding wheelchair. .Make it clear the wheelchair belongs to you and you would like it to go in the luggage for the flight you are boarding. *. Also request that the chair be ready and waiting at the point of departure. ; * Take any removcable parts from the wheelchair with you into the cabin for safekeeping. * Remove old luggage tags from the chair to avoid possible confu- sion. - ; * Seek out a good private in- surance company for appropriate tiavel insurance. Standard travel insurance. will not cover pre-ex- isting medical conditions. “The experienced young quads. just go out and do it. But some seniors or mid-life newly handi- capped are shy and some seniors just don’t know what’s out there. We. need to let them know it’s possible,’ she said. “‘It’s possible to even safari in Kenya. There are plenty of strong people around to lift you up stairs, but you need to take cushions for the bumpy rides.” For more information on the topic, Finlay recommends a book by Canadian author Cinnie Noble titled Handi-Travel. -For further information contact. Finlay at 921-8553. than others. Try these and find the most pleasurable for you both — and relax about having the earth move. It is more likely to move if you don't expect it. Sometimes | wish Hemingway had never in- vented that expression. Q: After several gynecological surgical procedures, my wife is no longer willing to have intercourse, which I certainly understand. However she does volunteer to do oral sex, which is now our stan- dard. I am perfectly satisfied with this but worried. Will this practice cause any health problems in the future? A: No — this won't affect the health of either one of you any more than any other sexual prac- tice will. 1 am not certain what kind of worry this has caused you — perhaps only that this is not considered by some people to be a ‘natural’ thing and might in time cause problems, the way long- distance running or truck driving can cause medical problems. If you think it might put either like special p of you at risk of AIDS — 1] know some people feel that certain prac- tices produce AIDS because the practices are condemned -- the medical fact is that one partner has to have the AIDS virus in order to give it to the other. It passes from one person to another the way other infections do. it is not generated by any particular act. It would be well for your wife to consult her gynecologist if some discomfort during intercourse makes her shy away from it. I say this because if there is some pain a doctor should check it for the sake of the patient’s health. It might also be that the gynecologist could recommend -a fubricant more pleasant for her — but there is no reason why you and she should not go on as you have if it satisfies you both. Q: What do you mean by foreplay? 1 know it is important in good sexual functioning but I am ask dr. ruth Ruth Westheimer confused about what it is. I think it is him touching her wherever she needs to be touched to become aroused, and alse her doing the same for him. But it seems to be alt kinds of other things as well. A: What you describe would be leasure foreplay for some couples, and part of it for others. But the fact is that foreplay is different with each individual pair of lovers. Some couples kiss and hug for an hour and then get in bed and stroke and stimulate each other physically un- til they are aroused and then begin intercourse at the right stage of arousal. Others can become aroused with fewer preliminaries. Some become aroused swiftly and can begin in- tercourse immediately, hardly needing any of what we call foreplay at all. Sometimes sex therapists speak of mood-setting and courting activities, such as buying flowers, setting the table with candles, turning on soft music, speaking lovingly to each other or seeing a movie together — spending time that is their time, set aside from work and other out- wardly-oriented activities, and ar- tiving at the time to go to bed ina loving mood. Or, when couples are separated, letters they write to each other, thinking longingly about each other, picturing what it will be like when they get together again — that can be considered extended foreplay. Whatever lovers do to promote mutual readiness for sex is foreplay. EY = Ve &; An exclusive sale of award winning diamond jewellery created by top Canadian designers, priced from $1500 to $5000. dust by viewing the Diamond Days and Nights Collection you could win a $250 gift certificate from Creative Goldsmiths. Come into the store and complete an entry form answering the question, “How many different shapes of diamonds are in the collection?” Park Royal North Mall WA Ton am m rome tat ein AARON Re ea DARAK tenet aE Me EIN IS FA TITRE MO WiRL NTE THN ee he EEE! Sha