Hall of Famer in! a practical way Jim Kearney - THE SPECTATOR ONE NIGHT he removed i -every chair in the Minnesota Vikings’ office. The next day ‘everyone had to work stand- ing up. He once smuggled a roster into the women’s washroom. And when secretarial staff saw an '. envelope crawling across someone’s :, desk, everyone knew who pul the “" salamander into it. .~ | Who is this nut? Why, Harry '*Peter (Bud) Grant, of course — the man known as Old Stone Face; the ~ man who coached the Winnipeg Blue Bombers for 10 years {and four Grey Cups) befure moving on ‘to the Vikings for another 17, includ- >-ing 17 Super Bowl appearances; atso, the man who was inducted last weekend into the Pro Football Hall _ of Fame in Canton, Ohio. ” Statues are known to hive smiled more often than Grant. Even untipped waiters have looked happi- er, In victory or defeat (mostly it was victory —- 122-66-3 in the CFL, 168-108-5 in the NFL) he looked exactly the same — as expressive 20 the back wall of a squash court. But behind that grim exterior there lurked — and probably still does —- a quirky sense of humour, Mot to menfion an unusual sense of priorities in a driven profession: family first, fishing second and foot- "A father of six, he made a point ’_ of always taking both lunch and din- . ner at home (except when the team was on the road) and never staying at the office past 6 p.m. He seldom. arrived before 9 a.m., mosily because he stopped along the way to get in an hour or two of fishing. He also is a hunter, Once upon a pigskin, the most popular event at the annual U.S. football coaches convention was the wild game dinner put on by the CFL. To Grant was assigned the task of bagging a moose and shipping it to the convention city. As the story is told — it-may be apocryphal — the chef at the con- vention hotel in Chicago is supposed to have phoned Grant in his room to ask him how to cook a moose. Bud is said to have dead-panned: “First, you get a large pot...” It was his forbidding (should he have been an auctioneer?) look that set up everyone for his practical jokes. Everyone was fair game, including his family. When h' daughter Laurie was six, he ; replaced her pet canary with a spar- row he had dyed yellow. When it squawked instead of sang, she fell off her chair. She dids't think it was that funny. Should your ever be a front-seat passenger in Grant’s car, watch out. He'll ask you to get a map or flash- light out of the glove compartment. Only an entomologist will be able to identify some of the crawling wildlife your fingers will encounter. "He hates coffee and believes no one else should drink it either. Once he pulled the plug on the coffee- maker in the Vikings’ office and wrapped tape around one end of the prongs. A repairman had the . machine totally dismantled before discovering the prank. It should be noted, though, that his victims often fought back, and took their retribution in the same. quiet way. One day, to get his secretary’ s attention, Grant quacked with a duck call. This inspired everyone in the office to buy duck calls, and the next day, every time he quacked they all quacked back. He eventually surren- dered and put his quacker away. His prize office wall possession was a giant stuffed trout. When the ‘staff pinched it and replaced it with a _ smoked herring, Grant refused to laugh. Instead, ne walked over to the nearest window and opened it. One April Fool’s Day, his secre- tary left a 10-foot python on his desk, while another staff member laid in wait with a camera to record for posterity his reaction. Showing no reaction at all, Bud posed with the snake around his neck and then casuaily sided for- ward until he pinned the terrified photographer against the wall. There was an occassion when his wife, Pat, decided to get even for all the practical jokes he played at home. She hid every pair of pants he owned. The great man was quite unfazed. He went to work wearing a shirt, tie, sports jacket, his trademark Husk Puppies and long johnsz. And never cracked a smile. For his Hall of Fame induction, Grant rented a bus and took along 60 people, all family and close friends, to Canton. Much to everyone’s sur- prise, the trip was non-stop. 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Every Wednesday, we brin a “VIEW FROM THE CHEAP SEATS”, a wee! look at the world of sports from a fan's perspec, We'll take a look at issues on the North Shore, and we'll also venture further afield into the world of professional sports. lett x, Tvs ORCS De ROTH AND WEST VANCOUVER raze SUNDAY > WEONRSDAY FRIDAY