4 - Wednesday, October 8, (986 - North Share News Bob Hunter ] WAS talking to an editor the other day about a profile © strictly personal © I was doing concerning a well-known provincial politi- cian, who, my research indicated, had actually been quite consistent in achieving his goals over the years, even though he was a political chameleon, The editor was a bit astonish- ed. Surely 1 wasn’t saying this guy was to be believed? *‘After all, he's a politician!" 1 taughed. No, of course not, heaven forbid! How could | possibly BELIEVE him? Am I a pro or what? It is the first tenet of newspa- pering and history alike that poli- ticians lie, even if they are good guys. The reason politicians are held in such low esteem — lower even than journalists, if you can imag- ine it — is quite sirnply because you KNOW you can't believe them! Am I saying that they are paid to lie? No way. Most of them know that to tell a direct lie is to risk being caught out in public, and that can be damaging. Just don’t tell the whole truth. That's much better than lying. So what they do is fudge. And the leader is the person who fudges most of all. Blissed Billy Vander Zalm is, in this respect, a fabulous Icader. Apart from throwing a high- way here, some possibie cheaper booze there, with a stern nod about abortion and a wink about gambling, he has given away nothing. The guy is the Ronald Reagan of the Pacific Northwest. The only thing he didn't do to } rehearse for this role is actually star in any movies, talking to a chimp. If I was Blissed Billy I'd stress style, too. Because who really wants to open up any of those cans of worms called substantial } issues? The Cheshire Cat grin is great stuff. But it is bound to wear thin near the end of- the campaign. I understand perfectly that Vander Zalm is offering us an upbeat Dale Carnegie kind of leadership, and I’m sure as hell not knocking that. Given his status as millionaire, he fits as the new kind of cultural hero, or at least media hero, the noble entrepreneur. The fact that the shiny new premier dances and sings a lot in public, wearir g a boater, with his wife be-bopying alongside, twirl- ing a candy cane, should come as no surprise. Brian and Mila Mulroney ac- tually stood on stage, remember, holding hands with Mr. and Mrs. Reagan, singing When Irish Eves, etc. That was the previous low point, I guess. The line between show biz and politics is thin, indeed. The Vander Zalms are perfect modern political mutants. [ask you, where is Fantasy Gardens if not halfway between Victoria and Disneyland? 1 love it! The nightly newscasts, which hag been fogg- ed up with accounts of hijackings in Pakistan, lingering fallout from Chernobyl, and record Ex- po crowds, are alive again with surrealism. In the middle of it, Blissed Bil- ly and Lillian do their song- and-dance routine, with the First Lady no doubt keeping her ESP shields up. They play to packed houses, no doubt about it. But keeping in mind that this has become pure theatre, don’t forget how an audience’s sym- pathies can shift. There can be little argument that Bob Skelly has snatched the underdog position. My God, I’m waiting for him to cry in public! But if Billy kicks any more sand on Bob’s runny nose, I'll start to feel as sorry for him as | did back when it was Billy Ben- nett beating up on him in the Legislature. My warning to the Socreds is: The blissed guy might be overplaying his dentures. Why do I suspect this? Well, there is a seven-year-old political scientist living in my house. The other day, while sucking on a popsicle, he asked: ‘*What do you think of Vander Zalm, Dad?”’ Being a slimebucket journalist from way back, [ fudged: ‘1 dunno...” The kid made a face and shook his head. “I don’t like him. He thinks he’s such a. big deal. He’s just the premier of B.C.!” Yeh. Like that. I’m beginning to suspect the match is going to be closer than popular media opinion holds. Just towards the end of the Socred leadership convention, the cameras closed in on Blissed Billy when he wasn’t paying attention. He was grumbling about having to go another ballot. The contest should have been over by then, he had figured. I think he’s going to get wack- ed back a bit on the cheek by the classroom wimp. the coach house inn proudly presents in the ballroom FRIDAY OCTOBER Bath BAVARIAN SMORGASBORD Oom ¢ pah ® pah Band The Bavarians ~ the coach house inn Tickets $10.00 (available at front deck) C4 Doors Open 7:00 p.m. 700 Lillooet Rd., North Van. 985-3111 Fall is ror Plant! Spring Blooming — Holland Bulbs are in stock now! "sea MIXED DARWIN TULPS 98 While Quantities MIXED N ARCISS| 20° =m Come see our GREAT SELECTION of shrubs & trees at very ig aa” 5 Maple Coaf nem van. 7a Garden Spot North Van store open 9am-Gpm Mon.Sat. Open Sunday Sam-5pm West Van store open 9am-6pm 7 days a week West Van 922-2613 §£ 2558 Haywood Ave. For complete details of our independent business products and services call any Commercial Banking Unit and ask for our new “Independent Business Banking" brochure. As the owner/manager of an independent business, the complex demands of day-to- day business banking can be quite time consuming. At Bank of Montreal we listened to independent business and designed a new approach to streamline and simplify your business banking. Check the advantages which our approach can offer to independent business: + Specialized account management teams + Streamlined products * Reduced interest costs * Quick approval times - Fixed monthly fees - Simplified administration pA Bank of Montrea! Independent Business Banking made easy.