QUESTION: ‘Birthdays have

: time. yet.

‘terrifies. :

BY ALAN TW.GG
1 saw a very

_and frightening

Last week,
common
si ight .

A busload of... elderly”
women. were herded into a
restaurant to eat lunch. As

‘they waited for their tour

guide to. take their orders,

_they sat in total silence. Dead

‘silence, I couldn’t help
thinking. Why did these
‘women have absoliitely

nothing to Say to each other?

.

I wondered what’ these
gentle souls thought about

each night with their. grey

heads upon the pillows. Lost :

always been unhappy times
for me. I think I may get as

person, but each year I am’
really: blue about being a.
year older. This. year turned .,

was the hardest _
oo ‘am. not married,-
although Thave many friends
and am quite close to my

family. J have a good job, am |

in good health and, on the

: whale. I. am as active. and

have as “much enjoyment in

QUESTION: 1 was utterly
innocent when I was married
and am still {after ‘two years]
quite inhibited and, of
course, sexually inadequate

[thought I would become
‘more at ease after a while, |

but now I feel I must have |
some sort of help. I find it.

very hard to talk with anyone |

about: my situation ‘even
privately and the thought of
being in a group | utterly
me. So, I was
wondering if .you would
recommend a good book for
me. .

STEWART:. I don’t mind
recommending a book tor
you, but I. am not very
optimistic about, any book I |
know giving you the.sort of
help you want. Forget about |
‘being ina group, seeing the |

thought of . it terrifies you,

but ‘do reconsider’ getting
private counselling. Many
others, who are probably just.”
as shy as you are ‘about it,.
have taken the plunge and
are grateful they did'so. I will.
be, happy to help you choose |
a counsellor, or see you
myself: A book that is filled,
with good straight forward ©
information is called Human

Sexuality., The author is Dr. ;

James Leslie McCary. He
has written. many profes- |
sional articles and books
including Sexual Myths. and -

. Fallacies and is co-author of

‘The ‘Abbreviated Bible.
ublisher is Van Nostrand
Reinhold. (It’s a big book, so
perhaps you'd like to get it
‘from the library first, before:
deciding to buy it).

and old dreams.

‘long.

-horse’’

husbands? Children who

visited once a month? Per-

naps buying a new hat? Or

even, God forbid, death? .

Should } be doing any of
these elderly women a
disservice by. underesti-
mating the scope of their
‘lives. I am genuinely . sorry.
‘But that’s how~ it’ looked.
' They had played out all the
‘traditional. roles: society had
given them at the turn of the

‘century. They would march

obediently to the gate of. St.
Peter. just as they would
unquestionably march back
outside: to the bus after
lunch, clutching handbags

‘life as other people I ‘know.

Why do birthdays bother me

‘so? I-can- hardly stand the —
much love and attention at

‘birthday time as the average ©

‘thought of number 30 coming ©
“up! a Ss

~ STEWART: | I hope you: won’t

think of this as “‘just a little -
_quirk’” in your. personality. I.
believe’ you are'trying to tell’:
yourself. something. I would .
hazard the guess. there is:
something. you want ~ to

-achieve, or something. you
want to become that you are
not getting into. Perhaps you
already know what it is, and
_are feeling that at 25 years of
age you may be waiting too
Are you . dreaming
about a different sort of

work? Or being married? Or .

travelling? Or becoming a_
‘mother? What have you
dreamed about that has not

become reality for you? If .
-you .don’t know, get your.

thinking cap'on and also pay —
‘very close attention to your.
‘feelings. What are
hungry .for? On the. other
hand, if you ‘DO know and
are not doing anything about
it other than’ waiting, by all
means take a. deep breath |
and get started: You. may
need some help, but perhaps
just deciding to.*'get'on your
‘will | clear. away
enough obstacles to get you
off to a good start. Perha
the first of the year will.give —
you a boost. Why not start on”
January first, 1978 to become.
what you want to be? Happy:
‘New Year!

you”

Their passivity was fright
ening.

The very next morning my:
two-year-old son and I were
up early to take a ferry ride to
Galiano Island. I had decided ~~
the time had come to pay a

visit to Elisabeth | Margaret
Hopkins.

MANY INTERESTS

Elisabeth Hopkins. lives in
a tiny. cottage overlooking ~

Active Pass. She has recently

written, illustrated, and
published her first book, The
Painted Cougar (Talonbooks’

CONTINUED ON PAGE 16

*

Freelance ‘Counsellor Hayden.
Stewart may be reached at _
261-6242 for appointments for .
individual, family | or group
counselling. | ans

His. new: ‘office in the Plaza
international Hotel ° [open
Tuesdays ‘only]
convenience of North Shore
- residents...

| INRA LASHOERUTALTOOROUAEOEESID

GREETINGS FROM HAY-
DEN: Oh now, we are off
inwe 1978. 1 hope i will be 2 —

“great year for all of you - and |
Pval MEI

; | Special
; 3°.

WESTLYNN MALL

: 980-2913

‘the Halt and Stitch Shoppe

- 2223

is for the

_ page S - December 28, 1977 -

iredecorating

ELISABETH HOPKINS...“‘important to have. many
different interests”? [Robert Keziere photo courtesy
Vancouver Art Gallery]. ;

| 9 days! |
- to clear for}
workmen!

9 days!
- of special
bargains!

one

- Connie wishes to
i thank. all the students
and customers of

po ‘Connie Borber of
Knit Fabrics

_

ean ee

«4

for their patronage —

this. past year.

MAY 1978 BE FILLED -
_ WITH GOOD HEALTH
(AND HAPPINESS

‘Start the New Year off right
New classe begins in Jan.

iF

. |
|

|

|

~we —s= ews ans ett, aw

to .

january 7!

a _ Updating Sewing

for further information call
ee (985-4846 ls
connie barber knit fabrics Itd.

| 110 East Ist Street, North Van
| Men.-Sat. 9:30.! " 5:30 985-4346

ee teria takes gee i ies Bee ‘ he site
oe ae
thy 4 rence

—se wees own 8.22 eee eet

park royal
‘south

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