4- Wednesday, March 27, 1985 - North Shore News

Agents of success

verybody should have an agent. | think. I strange places like Los

have four agents. Count ‘em! What do |
necd four agents for? You know, sometimes

I wonder.

Still, having an agent is
the sort of thing everybody
should do at least once in
their life.

I accumulated my agents
along the way, in the process
of getting a few books
published and mucking
about in the movie and tv
business.

Also, for awhile there, |
was involved in the awful
experience of negotiating on
behslf of a group with a
movie company. At that
stage, of. course, you need a
lawyer more than an agent
actually, you need a
bodyguard. You are forced
to accept the idea that you
are just a babe in the woods,
and the guys and gals out
there in Real Movie Land
are the financial and
psychological equivalent of

strictly personal

Angeles or New York or
London,
Although that) can be

by Bob Hunter

White Pointer sharks.
You've got about as much
chance as Harp seal pup
against John Crosbie.

Once you have accepted
your inadequacy in the face
of real moguls, it is an easy
step to wanting to hide
behind some kind of
lawyer-like person in all fur-
ther negotiations with just
about anybody. .

A good agent, you see, is
a thing of beauty. He or she
takes on the role of lawyer;
therapist, confessor,
business guru, manager,
retirmenet counsellor, and
surrogate father or
whatever,

With a bit of Juck, or,
better vet, some success,
your agent becomes some-
body to visit when you find
yourself wandering through

Propane okay

WEST VAN District Fire
Chief Colin Evans can't stop
installation of a propane
‘tank at a Marine Drive gas
station despite his fears of a
possible disaster.

Council went ahcad Mon-
day and gave approval — by
a narrow 4-3 margin — to
the Petro Canada station at
2196 Marine Drive to install
a 9,000 litre propane fuel
tank. ,

Evans said in a letter he
was surprised ‘‘to learn that
the proposed propane tank
(installation) ... could not be
stopped by a zoning bylaw.’

Ald. Diana Hutchinson,
who with David Finlay and
Alex Brokenshire voted
against the fuel tanksiting,
said the concern expressed
by Evans should be taken
seriously.

She said it’s not in the in-
terests of nearby residents to
take such a chance with ex-
plosive gas.

B.C. gas safety specialist
Jim Quee told council
there’s nothing to worry
about since to date there
have not been any disasters

Ronald J. Schmidt {

Barrister

Personal Injury
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& Family:Law

Free Initial consultation!
& fee estimate

925-1156

Goluboff Mazzei &
Schmidt
4201-585 16th St.
West Vancouver

with propane. gas tanks such
as the one proposed.

Evans, however, said he
felt
would be best for West Van
dsepite B.C. government
depariment assurances.

the prescriptive route °

dangerous.

My London agent once
deposited me at a Tube sta-
tion after a long pub session
one night and | was aimost
eaten alive by a pack of
Skinheads whom | had mis-
taken for a harmless bunch
of kids.

Agents are really good at
bucking up your ego. In the
crunch, I’m fairly certain
this is their most endearing
characteristic. When
everybody else says, ‘Gad,
Bob, this is pathetic!"* § can
always count on one of my
agents to say, ‘‘Look,. this
has got potential!’’

At the same time, like all
good nursemaids, agents
have to apply the lash every
Once in a while, for instance
when the author blunders in-
to a contract on his own.

Agents bring out the best
and the worst in me. On the
other hand, there is the call
of greatness. But wouldn’t it
be nice to be great and have
a kidney-shaped pool with
your initials embossed in

gold on the diving board?
Etc.

The good agent dangles ii
all in front of your nose
while trying to get into the

opening this
Pveekend

saddle on the mighty steed
of your ego.

Whether they actually do
you any good or not is
another question, Back when
{ had no agent, I used to
crank books out every cou-
ple of years. Since I've had
agents, I've cranked out
dozens of proposals which
then went into the mills of
the literary gods, and filtered
back out with one economic
“s)an or another for not
ag it.

You gotta be careful
about agenis. They're the
angels of you destiny if they
hook a big one, but they can
be a great excuse for sloth,
Not that sloth isn't a viable
lifestyle, depending on what
you want.

Get an agent, my son. But
if you never get anything
published, don't be surpris-
ed. Angels, ch? They'll fove
ya to death if you're not
careful,

Although it’s sure a nice
way to go...

The big thing to remember
is that in the modern age
anybody is liable to become
famous anytime. A flying
saucer might land in your
backyard or the President of
the Soviet Union might
answer your kid’s letter.
When the hoards of of pro-
ducers and ghostwriters de-
scend on you, are you goint
to be ready? Have you sign-
ed the appropriate release
forms? Do you urderstnad
the copywrite regulations in
Botswana? What about seri-
alization, in case they want
to trace your family’s roots
in the first episode?

J tell ya, it’s a jungle out
there. Without an agent, you
might get trapped into actu-
ally doing something.

\t's a problem, eh?

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NEWS Cliassifi¢

ds ,

Gambling night Saturday

There will be
gambling at Lynn
Valley Centre

Saturday March 30
with 10 Nevada-style
blackjack tables and
other. games of chance.

Proceeds will go
towards the purchase
of a Cavatron
Ultrasonic Surgical
Aspirator for the Lions
Gate Hospital.

The Casino is a joint
venture of the Lynn
Valley Lions Club and
the Lionsgate Rotary.
and will be run as part
af the Rotary Club's
“Spring Gala Night” a
serni-formal atfair with

‘an excellent

wine-tasting, hors
d'oeuvres, fashion
show, band, dancing,
cash bar, and over
$1500. in prizes
including a CP
Air/Marlin Travel Reno
holiday for two, all part
of the evening.

Rotary spokesman,
John Gardon, assures
that the event will be
spring
night ont and is a
terrific velue at $12.50
per ticke;. Only 400
tickets will be sald and
they are available from
Lionsgate Rotarians or
Lynn Valley Lions
members. or by
phoning Gordo at
980-9354

The professional
gambling equipment
used at the event is
rented from the Great
Canadian Casino
Corp. who have been
involved in’ many
charitable casinos in
the lower mainland,

Maxim wager at
the tables will be $5.00
and gaming chips will
be used which will be
redeemed for cash.

Tickets should he
purchased in advance
for the Spring Gala
Night -— doors open at
7:00 puna. Maret 30,
"ad,