38 - Sunday. September 15, 1991 ~ North Shore News LIFESTYLES Naive couple imposing on their friends DEAR MISS MANNERS — My problem concerns a cou- ple } know. His parents dislike her. and he distikes her parents. Since they both live with their parents, they have no place to see each other. it started ont by my asking her to house-sit while I owas out of iowa, F thought that would give them time tayether without all the hasstes. Ever since, they have been over foe many times, always unan- nounced, without bothering to knock, and offen at dinner time when they expect to be fed. ¥ don’t mind friends popping in at times, but every right -- and § do mean every night has become toc much, I feel that the parents of this couple, aware that their adult children do not eat dinner at home, should say something to the effect that they should not be pests, Also the couple themselves, being over the age of 20, should have better sense than to force their presence on non-relatives. Is there 2 courteous way of tetl- ing them their visits are not always welcome? I do not want to offend them, but I reatize 1 may have io do so, to get this to stop. I know of another couple on whom they descended. That cou- ple just reacted with rudeness to get rid of them. How sad that it had to come to that. GENTLE READER Who are these two, Romeo and Juliet? Why do two people over the age of 20 have to be offered shelter from their parents? And why do those who made the effort to thwart parental Judith Martin MISS MANNERS disapproval then complain that the parents are supervising their manners? Never mind. Doubtless you meant well in encouraging young lovers, and Miss Manners doesn’t blame you for being surprised that it turned out to be your company that they loved. There is no excuse for treating guests rudely, even uninvited guests, but on the other hand, one doesn’t have to let them into the house. A pleasant conversation on the doorstep should rapidly pro- ceed from ‘“‘How nice to see you”’ to: ‘Vm afraid we’re not receiv- ing compsay tonight. Some other Lynn Valley programs offering wide variety REGISTRATION FOR all pro- grams in the Lynn Valley area has started. A wide variety of programs of- fered out of the Karen Magnussen, Lynn Valley and Seylynn recreation cenires include skating and hockey programs, general recreation, dance, preschool social, diaper gym, tiny tot tumbling, tiny tot soccer and T-ball, school-age and teen floor hockey, a variety of fitness pro- grams for adults, yoga, Tae Kwon Do for all ages and levels, and Tai Chi. Public skate sessions start Sept. 15 at Karen Magnussen Recreation Centre. Friday night is **DJ Night’’ for teens at the ice rink. Teens will have a blast skating to their favorite tunes, and the fun in- cludes games, contests and prizes. This Friday evening skate is open to ages 13 and over. For more information on pro- gram start dates and times, or public skate information, contact the Karen Magnussen Recreation Centre at 984-9341. Registration may be done by phone with Visa or Mastercard. 4 + %, You're officially invited to attend the of the Capilano College Sportsplex Friday, September 20,7 p.m. A celebration of sport, recreation and community spirit, featuring: Flicka Gymnastics * musical presentation by Voice Deco Karate B.C, Association + Kathy Wright Dancers B.C. Rhythmic Sportive Gymnastics Association and much more! SEE YOU THERE! Ample Free Parking * 2055 Purcell Way, North Vancouver time, af youd fhe to call and check. we'd love to see you When we're free." DEAR MISS MANNERS — A friend. who prides hersctf on serv- ing food attractively and using the correct silverware, served us apple pie a la mode for dessert. She had placed a dessert spoon above the dinner plate — the only picee of silverware feft on the table when the main course and salad plates were removed. Some of us prefer eatiny pie with a fork, not a dessert spoon, although the spoon was fine for the ice cream. What is the correct silverware for pie a ta mode? GENTLE READER -- Al- though Miss Manners sides with you, she sympathizes with your friend — at least to the extent of understanding what happened. Her compassion for someone who doesn’t give people the proper tools with which to eat their food is limited. This lady was using the correct silverware, just not enough of it. Dessert service properly consists of both a dessert spoon (iarger 5389 CAVALIER *6997°° 4 dr, auto, 2ir 790 CIERA 4 DR $12,875°° V6, air, tilt, cruise "90 CHEV 4 T 4X4 $14,450 Auto, 305, 18,500km "90 CAPRICE LS *16,750°° Leather, full foad "S4 FIREBIRD °5450° V6, auto, Ttops "88 DELTA 88 $12,450 Air, PW, PL, Pseat, etc. "89 CORSICA 4 DR $8535°° Auto, AM/FM °S6 BUICK Regal 2 DR *87S0°° Sunroof, air, fuli Joad ge - Guaranteed Title IR’ teaspoon) and oa fork. These should be put out even when the dessert) requires oniy one, but pic with ice cream on it moa classic exasnple of a dessert tor which both are needed. What) Miss Manners also real- izes 1S that the reason your friend didn’t have dessert forks at hand was that she used them as salad forks, and. as she had just served the salad, they were dirty. We can’t all afford separate salad und dessert forks (and besides, no one except Miss Man- ners can tell the difference be- tween them) or enough of either to go around the table twice. But our guests can afford to wait just one minute while we tinse off the forks and bring them back on the dessert plates, along with the dessert spoons. DEAR MISS MANNERS — I had always been clase to my sister-in-law, and when her daugh- ter was engaged, | thought I would give ber my wedding ring. The couple have since broken up. Should my nizce return the ring I gave her, since she didn’t tie the than a 90 LUMINA 4-DR 14,9358°° Auto, Air, V6, iit, cruise "87 GMC Si5 4X4 $97 50°° Canopy, boat rack, cassette 78S Volks Golf Convertible *14,999°° 5 spd., leather, cassette "86 PRELUDE *9450° Auto, Sunroof, Cassette, Very Clean ’81 PLYMOUTH TC3 $2025°° Sport, Liftback "88 CHEV “%T P/U $7950°° V6, auto, radio knot! Should Lash her for it back or just forget it? GENTLE READER — This 1s an interesting variation on the ring cropiem, Phe previous anes Miss Manners has received all had ia Jo with jadies who wished to hang on to diamonds after parting from ‘herr donors. (She has to keep tell- inv them that ai engagement ring must be evaluated in terms of symbolism, not cash, and theretore cannot be retained after the symbol crashes.) No such crassness cxisis in this case. Miss Manners assumes. Your niece may feel awkward about returning the ring, or she may be hoping to use it on a subsequent occasion, but Miss Manners doubts that she is planning to pawn it as consolation for her broken engagement. As her elder, you may gently lead her into giving it back, rather than having it around as an unhappy reminder. [t would be a nice gesture to say that you will pul it aside for her to use on a happier venture. 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