we 7

_ North Shore becomes dotted.

“Take the typical moving
day, . !
“example of the phenomena.

It you’re ‘planning. on. ‘moving, redecorating,

host.. syou'll

BAT VV wee

be allowed to.

_ "wallpapering, renovating, painting or. wallpaper-
ing this fall.and desire a
_. cheap leabour, there is ‘something. you. should -
become aware of and keep i in mind at all times. It_
- can save you energy, money, as. well. as. lending —
-. you the appearance of the opulent, magnanimous

good, reliable source of.

sa shay : about the |

| premesis twirling an. -unsoiled: paintbrush and —
_ carrying out mainly supervisory work, while: your
guests happily bend to

it. For it must be an

accurate historical fact that. no Canadian citizen,

_ ROCKING SIX-PACKS
probably the prime
At each month's. end ‘the

with: U-Hauls, rented vans

and motley little caravans of
-humans trundling their pos-
'. sessions back and. forth

across the earth.
_ R.C.M.P. were so. ‘inclined.
~ they. could | effect’. massive . .

If the’.
arrests. _during these treks,

the back is going to have an.
open six-pack rocking: on the .
front seat. The common myth ©

ly in the left hand is solely for’

the purpose of _ quenching .
- any Sudden gusi of thirst that”

‘might arise, but there’ S more |

to it than that...it’s evolved

-itself. into a short of liquid —

currency. And it knows no.
social .bounds—both the.

wealthy and the. terminally ne
poor can depend on it- tone

achieve exactly: ‘the same.
end.

RULE OF THUMB)

__ My “first encounter with ©
the | ‘Beer for Work: Ethic:.

Carile al about ihe: time, 7 was:

physically able to be consid- -
“ered for
furniture moving.”
_ quently Twas. extremely.

really: serious

~ innocent “and. believed this.

“person, a friend’s, brother: .

. ‘Sure. enough, it_ was one of ;
the most hellish. backbreak-
ing Saturdays
suffered though...we ended. —
up fleeing from a white couch
the size of Moby Dick as it
chased us down three flights
of rickety apartment. stairs. |
Meanwhile, the owner of all :
this. property. seemed to have .
‘totally forgotten his original’
job: description, ‘and conten-
ted himself with ‘carrying -
odds and ends, fighting with
his wife and: opening. bottles”

‘since it’s :a.déad | ‘certainty’ of beer...

that any truck with a couch in: before swe finished, and_.as”

we: sat. exhausted, wet. and
‘sore inthe middle of his new
» livingroom, | there -was : the.
being an open beer constant- =heavy scent of - monetary ;

“man, .a” stockbroker. ‘paid. us. | eee
all right. He gave us a'case B00 *
and a a half of beer. — :

about,’

‘either living or dead, has ever been known to-
_ paper a wall, erect a shelf or dig a posthole without
being any more than an arm’s. length from the’
Almighty Beer. It’s a rather amazing National. .
Quirk, and once you become aware of it you can |
‘use it to great advantage—as the. best : source of |
cheap labour on the market. oe oe

Tve -

It. was - nightfall,

renumeration in the air’. The

a

ORPHANED BOTTLES —

“and the thing is is, I didn't.

even enjoy the stuff. There's * §
nothing worse than dropping 2
one end of a_ love. seat, 9
straitening. up: and taking ak |
_ Slug of. warm, flat-beer..And, J.
-jits warm. and ‘flat ‘because f° -
‘you can't pay’ proper atten- f-.
tion to it: with an armful. of ©
can _anyone -
- else,.’so..you end up .with ff.
about twenty-two half empty) J.
orphaned bottles scattered.
thing | ;

cushions, -: “nor.

The smart
would. be to wait until the

work i is over, then get into it. ms |
Conse-

' But . the
carries on.

in-law, when he said we'd. —

- "only. have to pack a few
-. things down to the truck.’ I
“should've become suspicious
. | when. the first thing he did
was offer us both a ripe, cold
. -beer. And. I should've bte-
--gome . ‘downright
when:
> fddgetul of the stuff he had»
waiting for us. (I've since '
_ discovered a rough tule of

paranoid |

“spled. the vast.

thumb to go’ by on. these

dismal occasions: a half case’

means you'll have to. carry

‘some’ floor lamps, maybe ‘a.
Two.
' cases means anything up to -

few” boxes -of books.

an overstuffed chair. And.
more than: two cases | indi-

cates you're in for ‘serious:

trouble—probably waltzing

downstairs backwards on the

wrong end of a hide-a-bed).

‘MOVING FETISH

A friend.of mine contrac- _
ted a mysterious: illness last.

year,. ‘and had us all. worried
“for a ‘while, -It

fetish somewhere—at least

‘that's what he acted like, and:
. managed to: change resi- |
in six. §:
To, the average |
reader this may just: seem |
like mildly curious behavior, .
-but.to know such a person ca’ J |
bea genuine bummer. The § |.
first thing 1 hit my shin on’ |
was the case of beer on the -
floor. of his pickup truck. I.

dences four times
months. .

that. day, |
-month I wasn't quite as —

~ store.and told him to buy. me
a hamburger _ instead. He —

months, but niade ‘up for. it~ why.
by selling his blasted couch,
_ and’. wheedling me _ into... It. was never. whiskey,

‘buyer’ s livingroom, the man,

ever. i

tradition |

1 In-Wall.

seems. that. .
he'd picked up a moving |

‘ByDave Jenneson_

“believe we: downed most of i it

a totai stranger, ‘made us sit
but the. following |

down: and have two_ beer
each. I was beginning to see.
there was.-no escape. So
when 1 helped him load his’
goods back. io the North
Shore. a month = later [1
_-accepted the case and a half
of beer with the air.of a man
who. frequently . sees it. rain,
but would like to understand

"RE-FINISHED FOR AS”
LITTLE AS” |

happy. about it-and only |
nipped at. it. When he
- collared me for the third ~
month running I managed to —
head. him off: at_ the. liquor

then skipped .a couple of

helping him. It was a ‘Sunday.
and he couldn't get. any.
beer, thankfully, ‘but. when
we'd hauled it: up into the |

never milk. They never: give
-you. two..quarts of raisins.
Just beer and more beer.

= CONTINUED ON PAGE 3.

RMA NS EY DEED ye IES ANGE RA ec

: it! [pew 7s

oh fooling. ‘Choose Sears. ‘heavyweight “roofing -with the :
*. ‘15-year pro-rated. guarantee or “Sears Lock-Down roofing
: for. super. security: Call today.

os Eavestrough. Pre-painted continuous aluminum trough. 7 :
_ ‘Modern box-style is: painted with a finish so tough. it So
guaranteed 20. years. No more scraping, painting! | ee

m Blown-in Celufibre Insulation Inadequate insulation in your feo |
_ attic results in heat toss! Call Sears fully qualified ©. °° ©

*, professionals: to. bring your present insulation: to a more 7
efficient standard.

o Foam: ‘Insulation. . Reduce heating and aire’.
-; conditioning costs! Applied under pressure, foam oS
insulation fills every corner between studs. Call today f for: a

_ free estimate. No obligation! © 2

‘

Aluminum Windows. ‘We measure, ‘manufacture - ‘and rn an
| cinstall aluminum windows. We'll install inside storms.or.. J. YA.
;. thermopane, replace, your. wood sash or install thermopane : |
oy in: ‘existing ‘sash. | | |

hy )
i

“Call for a free. evn,

7 999-8 Wo =

. Local 451 or 452, For a treo Satimate _ 1 your”
vat mt abadlutaly no obligation. :

ee ie

: .

" Sears: Bul ino Suppiles ea) Downtown Vancouver (rd too,
Richmond, Surroy, North Vancouver, :

a Simpsons: Sears Ltd. _

Burnaby,