C8 - Sunday,.May 30, 1982 - North Shore News

LOVE WITH A PROPER...

Let John be John, or Mary, or...

QUESTION: John and Mary
are not getting enough out of
their marriage. I'm Mary.
My husband is John. | have
the. depressing feeling that
he never relates to me. He
relates to what I am doing. I,
Mary, never play golf with
him, or cook for him, or
make love with him. He
plays with a golfer named
Mary, but not with Mary.
Pm a good cook, named
Mary. He doesn't make love
to ME, he makes love to a
girl whose name he knows is

Pie in
QUESTION: Sometimes |!
get so ampry at certain
people that I'd like to kill
them. I don't really mean
that, of course, but I sure
would like to throw a cream
pie or two in their faces. I
always feel ashamed of
myself when | am real angry
and don't show it. | feel
hypocritical. What do you
think about expressing
anger?

Mary. Am I making myself
clear? Somehow he is unable
to love’ Mary, although |
have no doubt he loves this
person who happens to be
named Mary with whom he
plays golf and makes love,
but why do I have the feeling
he ‘loves me because | golf
and cook and make love?

STEWART: Take away your
golfing and cooking and
love-making and take away
the multitude of other things

STEWART: If you choose to
stay as angry as you are, the
cream-pie thing seems quite
appropnate to me. You
should be aware, however,
that there is no pay-off. The
good feeling you have when
you throw the pie will only
last a few moments, it will
not improve the situation
that made you angry in the
first place, and besides, you
are quite apt to get an Irish
Stew thrown in YOUR face!

you do and are ‘and what has
he got left to draw him to
you in love? I think you may
be splitang hairs a bit. This
person, Mary. is manifest to
John in what she does and

thinks and feels. To him,
thatis YOU.
When just you two get

together there may be too
many of you there! You are
lost in a crowd of at least
eight people I can identify, if
I am reading your letter with
insight. When you two are
together there are-.at least

the eye

So, the second best
procedure is to arrive at a
way of expressing your anger
that does not result in a no-
gain situation.

If that is the SECOND best
procedure, perhaps you
would rather go for the best
one by getting some help in
understanding and = tran-
sforming whatever it is in
you that makes you so angry.

Think of all the pies you'll
save!

Success with male pill

NASHVILLE (UPI) - In tests
aimed at developing a male
birth-control pill, a Van-
derbilt University researcher
successfully lowered sperm
count without affecting
sexual dnve.

Dr. Gregory  Doelle
cauuioned the = studies are
preliminary and it will be
years before a male con-
traceptive is available in pill
form to the general public

Doelle said the tests on six

men combined two hor
mones — one that regulates
the amount of sperm

produced and another that

provides sexual dnrve. In-
jectons of the two hormones
resulted in a significant drop
in the sperm counj but did

not lower sexual dnve, he
said.

“All S1Xx maintained
potency and hbido (the

sexual dnve)” dumng the 20-
week study penod, Doelle
said Monday. After the
infecuions were stopped.
normal sperm counts
returned in all of them, he
said

The hormones injected
are a syntheuc form of
testosterone and luteimizing

A dull point

NASHVILLE, Tean (UPI)
State worker Allen Coggins
found out just how much
bureaucracy hits fellow
workers will take.

Seventeen workers

duufully filled out an of
ficsal-looking form before
using the office pencil

sharpener during a one-week
penod. Coggins made up the
form as a joke

“Eve been in the
burcaucracy for a number of
years, and it's funny some of

the things people take
seriously "Coggins said
Monday “I wondered if 1

put up something funny hke

that how many of
would take it semously ”
Coggins, 36, a state park
planner for the Conservation
department, said the typed
form was run through a
copying machine to make it
more official look ing
Headed, “Please
plete This) Form
Sharpening Your
the form instructed cach
person who sharpened a
pene) to fill ano his or her
name. department. number
of pencils to be sharpened
lead number of the pencils
and the date and time
pencils were sharpened

them

Com
BRelore
Pencil”.

the

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hormone releasing hormone,
a natural hormone that
regulates the development of
the testes by acting on the
pituitary gland in the brain.
In a previous Vanderbilt
study in which LHRH in-
fectons were given without
testosterone, five of eight
male subjyects became
impotent during the
treatment. All the men
regained potency after the
infechons were stopped.
Doelle, a clinical fellow in
the department of medicine
said the combined hormone
treatment may avoid the
mayor side effect of LHRH

Injechions — impotence
“We've not noted any
other adverse effects 9 he

said

these other six human beings
getting in on your intimacy:

they are: 1. Your Idea of
John; 2 John’s Idea of Mary;
3 John's Idea of John;
4 Mary’s idea of Mary:

5 Mary's Idea of John’s Idea
of Mary: 6 John's Idea of
Mary's Idea of John:

and

then, of course, there are
John and Mary. Too many.
too many!

In a good relahonship
between John and Mary.
gradually, but sufely, those
first six intimate strangers
find themselves unwanted
and they tend to take their

leave and move along. It’s
good that he loves a golfer
and a cook and a lover,
because you, thank good-
ness are all three! You be
Mary and give him all of
Mary. Let him be John while
you are learning to receive
all of him — as he 1s.

ask hayden stewart

Touch
of class

QUESTION: A little matter
of etiquette. Most of the
time, we don't use serviettes
in our family. But when we
have guests, I put them out.
My husband says, “How
come visitors rate serviettes
and we don't when we're
alone?” It isn’t that he wants
us to use them all the time.
He wants to know why we
use them when visitors
come, when it is not our
usual custom. Any com-
ment?

ANSWER: If you are just
being courteous and
thoughtful by making ser-
viettes available to people
who are probably used to
them and might be
somewhat lost without them,
then you get my cheers. If
you are doing it to toady up
to them, or to put on a little
dog in their presence, you
get mv boos.

If you don't want lo use
them all the ume, why not
use them once a day so that
you, and especially the kids.
will feel at home with them?
lo many people, including
me, they are almost a must
We use the paper ones

M.AT. PRODUCTIONS
presents

CONTEST

THURSDAY JUNE 24th
QUEEN ELIZABETH THEATRE
8 PM

Also featuring 2 professtonal
male exotic performances

TICKETS: Available all VIC
locations or concert box
offices at SOL W Georgia St,
Vancouver

Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at 261-6242
for appointments for individual, family or group counselling.

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