C8 - Sunday,.May 30, 1982 - North Shore News LOVE WITH A PROPER... Let John be John, or Mary, or... QUESTION: John and Mary are not getting enough out of their marriage. I'm Mary. My husband is John. | have the. depressing feeling that he never relates to me. He relates to what I am doing. I, Mary, never play golf with him, or cook for him, or make love with him. He plays with a golfer named Mary, but not with Mary. Pm a good cook, named Mary. He doesn't make love to ME, he makes love to a girl whose name he knows is Pie in QUESTION: Sometimes |! get so ampry at certain people that I'd like to kill them. I don't really mean that, of course, but I sure would like to throw a cream pie or two in their faces. I always feel ashamed of myself when | am real angry and don't show it. | feel hypocritical. What do you think about expressing anger? Mary. Am I making myself clear? Somehow he is unable to love’ Mary, although | have no doubt he loves this person who happens to be named Mary with whom he plays golf and makes love, but why do I have the feeling he ‘loves me because | golf and cook and make love? STEWART: Take away your golfing and cooking and love-making and take away the multitude of other things STEWART: If you choose to stay as angry as you are, the cream-pie thing seems quite appropnate to me. You should be aware, however, that there is no pay-off. The good feeling you have when you throw the pie will only last a few moments, it will not improve the situation that made you angry in the first place, and besides, you are quite apt to get an Irish Stew thrown in YOUR face! you do and are ‘and what has he got left to draw him to you in love? I think you may be splitang hairs a bit. This person, Mary. is manifest to John in what she does and thinks and feels. To him, thatis YOU. When just you two get together there may be too many of you there! You are lost in a crowd of at least eight people I can identify, if I am reading your letter with insight. When you two are together there are-.at least the eye So, the second best procedure is to arrive at a way of expressing your anger that does not result in a no- gain situation. If that is the SECOND best procedure, perhaps you would rather go for the best one by getting some help in understanding and = tran- sforming whatever it is in you that makes you so angry. Think of all the pies you'll save! Success with male pill NASHVILLE (UPI) - In tests aimed at developing a male birth-control pill, a Van- derbilt University researcher successfully lowered sperm count without affecting sexual dnve. Dr. Gregory Doelle cauuioned the = studies are preliminary and it will be years before a male con- traceptive is available in pill form to the general public Doelle said the tests on six men combined two hor mones — one that regulates the amount of sperm produced and another that provides sexual dnrve. In- jectons of the two hormones resulted in a significant drop in the sperm counj but did not lower sexual dnve, he said. “All S1Xx maintained potency and hbido (the sexual dnve)” dumng the 20- week study penod, Doelle said Monday. After the infecuions were stopped. normal sperm counts returned in all of them, he said The hormones injected are a syntheuc form of testosterone and luteimizing A dull point NASHVILLE, Tean (UPI) State worker Allen Coggins found out just how much bureaucracy hits fellow workers will take. Seventeen workers duufully filled out an of ficsal-looking form before using the office pencil sharpener during a one-week penod. Coggins made up the form as a joke “Eve been in the burcaucracy for a number of years, and it's funny some of the things people take seriously "Coggins said Monday “I wondered if 1 put up something funny hke that how many of would take it semously ” Coggins, 36, a state park planner for the Conservation department, said the typed form was run through a copying machine to make it more official look ing Headed, “Please plete This) Form Sharpening Your the form instructed cach person who sharpened a pene) to fill ano his or her name. department. number of pencils to be sharpened lead number of the pencils and the date and time pencils were sharpened them Com BRelore Pencil”. the NORBURN LIGHTING CENTRE ON has a reputation of experienced gervice and is the place to see Western Canada's largest dlaplay of lighting fixtures tf you ere bullding or remodoiling or just out to brighten up a dark corner — you'll find the right light alt Norburn Whotesale and retall Free catalogues available Norburn Lighting Centre Inc 4600 E Hastings St Burnaby BC VSC 2K5° Tel 209-0666 hormone releasing hormone, a natural hormone that regulates the development of the testes by acting on the pituitary gland in the brain. In a previous Vanderbilt study in which LHRH in- fectons were given without testosterone, five of eight male subjyects became impotent during the treatment. All the men regained potency after the infechons were stopped. Doelle, a clinical fellow in the department of medicine said the combined hormone treatment may avoid the mayor side effect of LHRH Injechions — impotence “We've not noted any other adverse effects 9 he said these other six human beings getting in on your intimacy: they are: 1. Your Idea of John; 2 John’s Idea of Mary; 3 John's Idea of John; 4 Mary’s idea of Mary: 5 Mary's Idea of John’s Idea of Mary: 6 John's Idea of Mary's Idea of John: and then, of course, there are John and Mary. Too many. too many! In a good relahonship between John and Mary. gradually, but sufely, those first six intimate strangers find themselves unwanted and they tend to take their leave and move along. It’s good that he loves a golfer and a cook and a lover, because you, thank good- ness are all three! You be Mary and give him all of Mary. Let him be John while you are learning to receive all of him — as he 1s. ask hayden stewart Touch of class QUESTION: A little matter of etiquette. Most of the time, we don't use serviettes in our family. But when we have guests, I put them out. My husband says, “How come visitors rate serviettes and we don't when we're alone?” It isn’t that he wants us to use them all the time. He wants to know why we use them when visitors come, when it is not our usual custom. Any com- ment? ANSWER: If you are just being courteous and thoughtful by making ser- viettes available to people who are probably used to them and might be somewhat lost without them, then you get my cheers. If you are doing it to toady up to them, or to put on a little dog in their presence, you get mv boos. 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