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40 ~ Sunday, April 14, 1991 - North Shore News

LIFESTYLES

Avoid men who make

insulting remarks

DEAR MISS MANNERS — My
husband and | bow! in a feague
once 2 week with another couple.
U like the wife very much. The
husband seems to think he is
God's gift to women.

He is almost constantly putting
his arms around his wife and kiss-
ing hes in public. They have been
married about cight years, and it
is the second marriage for both.
We have known him many years
longes than her.

A couple of weeks ago his wife
and I were talking, when he came
over and said to her, *‘f can touch
you there (mentioning a private
part in a very crude manner), but
T can’t touch her there."* meaning
me. We are in our 50s, so he is
old enough to know better.

I felt embarrassed and humili-
ated by the remark.

Tam sure the wife is going to
bring up the subject of our going
out together, which I do not in-
tead te do. How should [ res-
pond? I am shocked that this did
not seem to upset her.

GENTLE READER — Well,
Miss Manners is shocked, too, but
chiefly because this did not seem
tO upset you sufficiently.

Why did you not point out that
he not only can't touch you. but
he cannot speak of you in an in-
sulting way?

Showing off that one has an
ultimate relationship with one’s
spouse is decidedly unappetizing
to others, which is why society in-
vented the wedding trip. People
who hope to excite envy by this
behavior must not realize how
often it is taken for an attempt to
disguise a bad -elationship.

But speaking obscenely of inno-
cent peopie is a deep affront. The
phrase that should have come to
your mind is ‘(How dare you?’’

At this point, you need only
decline this couple’s company. But

New product

From page 36

until it comes up with the right
characteristics which determine
what is oi! and what is water.

“If it says this is water, it’s
happy and away it goes,”’ he add-
ed.
All bilges are sources of water
pollution.

‘*You’ve got an engine

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For registration and starting dates:

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won nnn Qin nnn e nee ee

Martin

MISS MANNERS

if they press their social atren-
tions, they should be told (by you
if you use the modern system, by
your husband in the (traditional
one) that you do not associate
with people who insult you.

DEAR MISS MANNERS —
Several years ago, when a friend
was having her home remodeled,
she asked if she'could visit me for
a week. We had 4 very nice week
together and after she left she sent
a thank-you gift. I thought that
was a nice way of saying thank
you, but I did not acknowledge
the gift.

The next Christmas there was
no card from her. Nor at the fol-
towing one. Later in that second
year, my companion of 20 years
committed suicide. [ sent notices
to all our friends, but not to the
one who had received Christmas
cards from me but had not sent
me any.

1 heard recently that she was
mad that I had not acknowledged
her thank-you gift. Was I wrong?
It seemed to me that this thank-
you would go on and on — thank

you for the thank you for the
thank you, ete.

In any case, F know she knew
immediately of my friend's death.
I think her lack of caring far ex-
ceeded my error GF any),

GENTLE READER — What
would Miss Manners do if she had
failed to thank someone for a
present and then turned vindictive
to that person on the occasion of
a death?

She would try to disappear
from the face of the earth.

For someone who does not
follow the normal rules, which
cequire thanks for a present but
not thanks for a letter of thanks.
you are very quick to hold athers
to account. A dropped Christmas
card is not nearly so serious.

But losing a loved ene should
make one reflect on the
preciousness of human ties. If you
want 10 renew the friendship, Miss
Manners suggests you write a
long, warm letter to this person,
in which you mention how much
you had enjoyed her visit and ap-
preciated her present, and how
you regret having been out of
touch.

BEAR MISS MANNERS —
When I make a complaint about
something my husband has said or
done, rather than discussing it
with me, he often reacts by either
giggling or jokingly saying some-
thing like ‘Oh, poor me — I feel
so sorry for myself!"*

GENTLE READER — It seems
to Miss Manners that marital
disrespect consists of compiaining
about what the spouse says and
does and then getting angry with
the quality of contrition shown,
rather than handling this trying
behavior good-naturedly. But
since you don’t like the latter,
Miss Manners suggests you make
it unnecessary by refraining from
the former.

is environmentally-friendly

operating in there and this engine
has transmission fluids, oi]. When
Mr. Smith does an oil change,
part of it goes into the bilge.
When he tops it up, it slops into
the bilge. When he cleans his boat
with his anti-sudsing detergent
agent, it goes into the bilge. The
bilge is hell’s own fitue place.’’
Richey said.

Apr. 15/91
Apr. 15/91
Apr. 29/91
Apr. 29/91
May 22/91
May 7/91

Conducted by North Shore Driving School Ltd.
in cooperation with the North & West Van Schoo! Boards

For further information caii 988-1138
Leader in High Schoo! Driver Training since 1961

Clip& Save ‘cen anne wn en ewe ewe

The system is monitored with
an alarm and doesn’t require as
much power as conventional bilge
systems.

The product has been in devel-
opment for a number of years and
will be available Jater this year.

Richey founded Sea-Hornet
after decades spent in the alarm
monitoring industry.

Room 236 at 3:15
Room 300 at 3:00
Room 212 ait 3:15
Room 2171 at 3:30
Room 304 at 3:15
Room 207 at 3:30

wnennene-e- eee GB

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Dr. June A. Milliken
takes great pleasure in announcing the
opening of
ANIMAL HOUSECALL PRACTICE
Practice limited to personal in-house
care of dogs & cats
For appointment please call

985-9672

LOSS?

See us for good hearing
aid service — sales, repairs,

| batteries and advice.
Government Licensed.

ASK ABOUT OUR
TRIAL SERVICE.

North Western

Hearing Centre
Hours: Mon.-Fri. 9-5

985-5552

1910 Lonsdale
North Vancouver

SEE OUR LARGE SELECTION.

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SAFETY IGNITION SYSTEM

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* CERAMIC BRIQUETTES

PUT AN END TO BURNT OFFERINGS - TRY A DUCANE!
Available ah.

NORTH SHORE HEALTH
ARE MOVING
EFFECTIVE MARCH 16, 1991

OUR NEW CENTRALIZED ADDRESS WILL BE
5th Floor - 132 West Esplanade
North Vancouver, B.C.
V7M 1A2
TELEPHONE NUMBERS:
General Inquiries 983-6700

Child & Adolescent Program983-6719
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Speech and Language 983-6716

Home Care and
Long Teem Care

Volunteer Program

983-6701

983-6780
983-6800

Medical Health Officer

Environmentai Health
Preventive Nursing

986-7111

983-6839