4 - Wednesday. June 26, 1985 - North Shore News . S A PERSON born in Manitoba, I am pleased to announce that I am, as of now, one of the most liberated individuals on earth. Thanks to the Supreme Court ruling that says all laws in the province have to be translated into French to become legal, | am a man without a province. Gee, you know, I think I might like this, are valid anymore or not. In principle, by the way, 1 completely agree with the idea that the Manitoba gov- ernment must comply with the terms of its original con- stitution. Keep in mind that Manitoba came into being as Since the statutes involved a rebel state, later con- in recording births have to quered. be among those 4,500 pieces What is disappointing of provincial legislation that about the effect of the have been struck down, whatever proof there is in ‘the office of vital statistics in couldn’t have been worked Winnipeg that ! even exist is out whereby the money technically useless. wouldn't have to be wasted I stil! have a social in- on unnecessary translations. surance number issued by It has been suggested that Ottawa, plus a Canadian only 400 laws actually re- . passport, .but I wonder if quired translation, speaking even these are valid any practically. more? If you got a sharp- I will say this much for enough lawyer, I have no Premier Howard Pawley, he doubt he could figure out tried. some way to use the Charter Anyway, let's make the of Rights and Freedoms to best of it, I say. Looking at insist that they weren't. |. my birth certificate, with the I mean, your honor, if the Manitoba leglslature and the birth . certificate is useless Golden Boy. printed faintly .because: it was signed in a inthe background, I made ‘province where the laws are the discovery I expected: the -all invalid now, why, for in-_. certificate is in English only. re | . stance, should this simple Ergo, I don’t exist, folks! but ‘honest wordsmith have [ guess that goes for you, to pay federal taxes? Cruel, too, Ma. And all the rela- sir! Unfair! ; tives, except those born out 1 know, the Supreme here. And if your birth cer- Court cooked up a .“‘tem- tificate is technically null porary validity” category to and void, or even if there's a keep poor. old Manitoba © good chance it might be, from grinding -to a your status as a Canadian bureaucratic halt while $50 citizen HAS to be affected. million is rounded up to It’s wonderful. Apart translate mouldering vol- from gearing up for a cam- umes of laws, whether they paign to be freed from the Supreme Court ruling is that -Most makes and models Lube, oi! change & filter Check exhaust system under carriage. Check front & rear brakes Safety check of wipers & defroster, headlights and general roadability. Full ignition tune-up Includes scope test ignition, replace plugs, fuel filter, check PCV, air filter. Service emis- sion system. Test charging system. Road test tf certified mechanic, Balance ail 4 tires ; Check for tire pressure and wear alignment : extra if required. : Check cooling system Check hoses, pressure test. Extra charge for anti-freeze when required. wash & clean-u Clean up tnside and out, tubricate all locks and hinges. Steam clean engine compartment Ail FOR ONLY $ goo includes mest parts & labor, free courtesy car available by appointment. Trucks $10 extra. 987-71 1 Air titer and antifreeze extra. Oar Body Shop Specializes in ICBC Claims | Datsun, Toyota, Honda, Mazda & Volkswagen Plus all Domestics Call Mike Ruggles for appointment —_. Waite Tg : 2 a oe Hie 7 oe 3 a 3 ; ° , Sane USACE ROS : fo ET tae : . a NE i Ritchie Service Centre 1525 Welch St. North Van. * Free estimates © All work cuaranteed © Free courtesy car * Complete painting ¢ Free towing on North Shore —« Fiberglass repeirs ‘sure, some political compromise . SUMMER SPECIAL | Fantasy freedom clutches of Revenue Canada, ! think Ill sick a lawyer or two on the bank, see if my mortgage is valid, since I’m somewhere in the documents we signed, my birth certificate must have figured. Come to think of it, what good is my social in- surance number? I think I'm going to need a TEAM of lawyers for this one. I wonder how much of the Criminal Code really applies to me if I’m not a citizen. And where could they deport me, anyway? Maybe I should just become a gigan- tic on-shore tax shelter or holding company or free trade zone. I find this whole scene tru- ly fantastic when you think about the historical context. Louis Riel ted a rebellion against the central gov- ernment, controlled by the Orange Lodges, in the hope of creating a political utopia where people from all over the world could come to live as freely as the Metis and Plains Indians had done un- “til then.. : Apart. from his mystical ‘ We Invite you t ‘o North Shore’s newest and belicis, Riel was an anarchist at heart. Wherever he is right now, if he’s watching, 7 just know he has to be glow- ing with contentment. For the moment, he has freed those of us who came after - him in his tittle country from citizenship entirely. Well, almost. Maybe. In any event, in a world where everyone is iniprison- ed by their national identities and numbers, held hostage by their own governments, it’s nice to even fantasize about being free. Thank you, Louis. Thank you, Supreme Court of Canada. Has that battalion of lawyers arrived yet? Ronald J. Schmidt “Barrister largest Fitness Facility * 3500 SQ.FT: WORKOUT AREA * OVER 120 EXERCISE STATIONS * SEPARATE CHANGE ROOMS FOR D WOMEN WITH . SRUNAS *STEAMROOMS *WHIRLPOOLS * SHOWERS *LOCKERS *LOUNGE AREA * OLYMPIG SWIMMING POOL (SEASONAL) * SUN BEDS * JUICE AND VITAMIN BAR * PERSONALIZED INSTRUCTION * RETAIL WEIGHTLIFTING ACCESSORIES * CAFETERIA * LICENCED LOUNGE ALSO AVAILABLE * AEROBICS « CHILD MINDING SERVICE | Empire Fitness Centre North Shore People While the heavy duty discussions continue over Michael Bartlett's Expo replacement, one of Jim- my Pattison’s top echelon boys confided, “If Jimmy asks me to take over, I'm going to ask for twin Mercedes. Then I can call them my Bartlett Pear.”... Along with North Van fashion whiz Roberta Kelly's spectacularly-produced fashion extravaganza that's still pretty hush-hush, a giant Care Bear picnic and the first-ever Cabbage Patch Doll's Birthday Party, §. the Pacific National Exhibition is fighting back to : make this year's fair bigger and better with personal ap- pearances by six of the top stars of the twoleading soap operas, The Young and the Restless and Days of © ‘ Our Lives. (It's appropriate that the theme for this year is water — soapy water.) The idea is that soap fans will be chosen from the audience to come on stage to read dialogue, give script advice, act out a scene and leam how to stage kiss. Strutting their stuff at a press preview a few days back were Erle Braeden who plays Vic- § tor Newman in The Young and The Restless: § “and was the tenacious German commander in the TV" § series Rat Patrof, and Michael Leon who's Pete 9 Jennings in Days of Our Lives. They remember. ff . well what happened at the CNE last summer when the enicee asked one buxom blonde what she would do to get next to soap suds hero, Michael Damien. Before ©} his, astonished eyes, she instantly stripped off her top - and bounced cn stage. The word from Reberta is, no | matter how exciting this year's fair is, please keep your clothes onl... tas Bayridge’s Dorothy Metcalfe, wife of Ben and special events co-ordinator for the Vancouver Art Gallery, tells me that 1985 fs proving to be a good year for outstanding young local artist, Angela Grossmann. While Angela's work is currently on view in the VAG's Young Remantics collection, she was recently invited by the Canadian goverment to be the first visual arts exponent in Western Canada to ex: - hibit at the Department of External Affairs’ Forty-Ninth Parallel Gallery in New York. The item is that the show had scarcely opened when the famous Kennedy clan popped in for a looksee. Patricia Kennedy Lawford, sister of the slain U.S. president, was so taken with Angela's work that she bought one of the paintings on the spot, requesting that it be delivered to her Hyannis Port home immediately as a. she was giving a party on the weekend and wanted Angela's new painting to. be centrepiece... . Last week was the annual get-together of Douglas & McIntyre’s book publishers, authors and salespeople at Scott and Corky Mcintyre’s home in woodsy North Van. It was also a surprise 40th birthday party for Corky with the rich chocolate birthday cake designed in the shape of a book. Among the noteables attending were renowned artist, dack Shadbolt, who has a cof- feetable book of his paintings waiting in the wings; former Sun sports columnist, dim Kearney, whose i first book, Champions, ls due for a fall release; Barry Broadfoot whose latest effort is based on hundreds of war Veterans’ recollections and Ernie Perrault who is wrapping up his history of the Seaboard Lumber Company. No title yet, though Perrault suggests, with tongue firmly planted in cheek, that ‘Lust in the: a Woods’ might be a grabber... Congrats to Chartwell’s - Emerson Short on his election as President of the . Arbutus Rotary Club for the important Expo year of 1986. He takes over July 1... Pat on the back, too, to one of the nicest and most able food promoters around, North Van's Mona Brun. She's just been named spokesperson for Western Canada for New Zealand lamb... Happy retirement to West Van's Herman Burkart who leaves his post at KVOS TV after 30 years. He plans to move to his new home in Squamish and spend at least four months a year in Hawaii... And finally, did you hear about the movie ac- tress who's been married eight times? She was a regular “ busy body... Cheers!... , Need the latest on the North Shore Real Estate Market? Call your Community Specialists... Sussex Realty 984-9711