A8 - Sunday, October 7, 1984 - North Shore News

Dolls wage
war on dolls

OD IS GOOD.

Spies who have Media Watch in focus report that
that organization has launched an offensive against
Mr. Patrick Burns of CJOR, the dulcet-toned,
sweet-natured cultist of the air waves who enter-
tains nightly from 7 to 11.

The ladies of Media
Watch, if such they be (and
opinion is much divided)
have complained to. the
CRTG, otherwise known as
the Canadian Radio, Televi-
sion
munigatiosn
that the said Burns has ¢om-
mitted an offence, to wit:

He calls women ‘‘dolls”’.

‘*Goodnight, dolls,’’ he
has been heard to say. Worse
sull, he may sometimes say to
a female caller:

**Get lost, doll.’’ Or:

‘“*Get some brains, doll.”’
Or, when he is feeling
charitable — on Christmas
Eve, perhaps

‘‘God bless you, doll.’’

Dolls are an integral part
of Burns’ life. Without dolls,
he would probably become a
hippy. Burns without dolls
would be like Hope without
Crosby, Scylla without
Charybdis, and guns without
ammo.

Dolls are to Burns what
porridge 1s to Webster and
cruise ships to Bannerman

But the wretches of Media
Watch want to take away
Pat's dolls.

You must know
Media Watch, of course
They are the fems furious
who spend their time snoop-
tng on what, God knows, are
the harmless enough media
and advertising worlds

They once worked
themselves into a snit over
that lovely bosomy Sanyo
bus ad that warmed chaps on
their way to work

(For years they have been
in hot pursuit of your man
Doug, who ome hoped,
facetiously, that af they
wanted to be equal with men
in all things, they should in

about

the next was take themselves
off to the front, where they
could be taped by the Rus
sians (Tf the Russians would
have them that as which |
doubted )

But |) digress

The Commissars of the ait
Waves othust covet now be
chewing ther tips aver thas

one Bor although the

government tas changed tbr

burcauctacy poes on forever
What they  sAreuedef ches f
COUPSE tS tor semeh the conn
plarat to the daddies cr qpaes
foots fort case che the waa bree
Tor thre irre anatiries it «deat
that we ore portip tes ary c
tea ug the scope crcbastis
Bhow about ce oft,

The Tree
People

The Tree People are an established NS company
with 25 years experience of true quality workman
residents &
qualified people to get the job done right
staff is equipped with all the modern methods ot
the industry and are complimented with govern
licensed horticultursts.

ship tor NS

ment
residential climbers

and Telecom...
Commission,.

~

get this

Doug Collins

greatest musicals of them all
— Guys and Dolls? Obvious-
ly, the title must be changed.
How about Guys and Per-
sons? And let’s shoot the
character known as Nicely
Nicely Johnson, who sings:
When you meet @ geni paying
all kinds of rent,
For a flat that would flatter the
Taj Makai,
Call ut sad, call tu funny, but
it’s better than even money,
That the guy’s only doing tt for
some doll

Rogers and Hammerstein
are even worse in the lovely
“Girl That | Marry’ ditty in
Oklahoma'
No more flitting’, Pll be sitiun’,
next to her
And she'll purr like a kitten
A doll | can carry, the girl that
1 marry must be

Then there’s such offences
against good taste as
I'm going to buy a paper doll
that | can call my own
A doll the other fellows cannot
vleal

And not to forget

Oh vou beautiful doll,
wreat big beautiful doll

It should not

babu

SUPPEISe you

to Near that Media Watch
receives alms from Ottawa
Last vear, that grim doll Judy
Brola, who was responsible
for such omystenes as the
Status oof Women. poured
$50 000 into Media Watch's
Jocal lap Phey ve probably
had ao dot more since then
And what have those dolls
done with i!

Pdcrivatided Chiat Boat. hells

be banished

Croodnig ht holds

industries We have

Our

and § ( ertitiod

LET THE PROFESSIONALS

WORK FOR YOU!
59 BEWICKE NV

987 2084

BRAERSES

NEWS photo lan Smith

A LIFETIME of free photo-finishing calls for a good starting subject---so Rita Wiener (left),
North Shore winner of that prize in the recent Kits Camera contest, kicks off by taking a shot of

Sharka Chobot, Miss North Shore, with Park Royal Kits Camera owner Len Hutchinson.

Warning Health and Welfare (Canada advises that danger to health increases with amount smoked
Average perc iparette Matinee Shims King Size imp tar Od me nicotine

lOO mm 4 me tar 04 mp nicotine

avoid nbahling

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