Address alumnae without offense DEAR MISS MANNERS — We at Saint Mary's College are knowingly guilty of a social faux pas, but after analyzing every possible way to correct it, find that we must continue with the of- fensive practice. The only way we have to kcep accurate records of our alumnae is to file them according to their maiden names. Name changes commonly occur in a woman's life because of marriage, divorce or remarriage; a nickname is picked up or dropped; or part of a double miss manners Judith Martin name is dropped. The one constant throughout most of these changes is (he maiden name. We find that the only way we can easily recognize which is the mgiden name is if we put a prefix — Mrs., Miss or Ms. — in front of the woman’s name. Therefore, we refer to Jane Carter Smith as Mrs. Jane Carter Smith or Miss Jane Carter Smith, so that we can tell if Carter or Smith is the maiden name, We are well aware of the fact that, in the case of the married woman, we should call her either Jane Carter Smith or Mrs. Robert F. Smith. Our computer program, on which we keep our master alumnae list and generate mailing labels, will not highlight the maiden name or print it in aii capital letters. Another computer could solve this problem, but unfortunately we are stuck with the one we have. After every mailing, we receive letters of complaint from some of our alumnae, saying that they find this practice offensive. Are we justified in continuing a practice that we find to be the best wry we can serve our alumnae? GENTLE READER — Miss Manners has been analyzing your letter, looking for a parenthesis or two. She didn't find any, but she is nevertheless confident that your computer can manage a pair when needed. They are desperately needed here. Not only do you not want to continue offending your alumnae, bur Miss Manners netes with satisfaction that the ton. of your letter demonstrates a distaste for incorrect. addresses on your own part. Why don’t you continue to ad- dress the unmarried ladies as “Miss Jane Carter Smith,’’ but address the married ones as ‘*’-frs, Robert F. Smith (Jane Carte:)"' or “Jane Carter (Mrs. Robert F.) Sinith"? 26 - Sunday, January 1, 1989 ~ North Shore News Oe OVER 60 STORES IN CANADA LIVING |We Make Your Lighting Zyatingt LIGHTING . aa a NL el ee)! Lougheed Mal! Burnaby 421-0712 Devtlied glass Reg $69.99 *4q® Sale ends January 29, 1989 Bulbs extra. On sale while quantities last. *Off our everyday low prices. SE OVER 60 STORES IN CANADA Capiiano Mall, North Vancouver 985-5636 (next to the Sirloiner) Richmond #100-7991 Alderbridge Way (lower tevel next to Sears) 270-8622 Surrey Place Mall 584-LAMP is