9 - Wednesday, March 11, 1987 - North Shore News Doug Collins @ ® get this straight THE DAY that Liberace the pleasant old pansy died of AIDS, I thought right away of the column ‘‘Cassandra”’ (Bill Connor of London’s Daily Mirror) wrote about him in 1956. It cost the newspaper $22,000 in libel damages, plus costs, but Connor told me later it was worth it. The piece was a classic. and is here reprinted in full, courtesy of the Mirror. On August 20, 1939, when war was absoluiely inevitable between Great Britain and Nazi Germany, I went and had a drink — I needed it more than anything in my life anytime before or since — at Berlin's most violent, most vulgar and most picturesque har, the Haus Vaterland in the Potzdamer Platz. This vast establishment had about 20 bars representing the drinking habits of all nations ranging from ersatz English pubs to ersatz Cuban bars. It was a round-up of the drink- ing customs of the world staged in suitable theatrical scenery. In the Yachting Bar (‘Why can’t the Royal Navy and the Kriegsmarine love each other like brothers?’’) they had the drink to end all drinks. It was called STAERKE FUNF’’ or strength Five. It was the most deadly concoc- tion of alcohol that the Haus ‘*WIND- Wind- Vaterland could produce in those most desperate days. On behalf of Mr. Chamberlain and Mr. Hitler I had five. | have to report that Mr. Liberace, like “WINDSTAERKE FUNF,"’ is about the most that man can take. But he is not a drink. He is YEARNING- WINDSTRENGTH FIVE. He is the summit of sex — the pinnacle of Masculine, Feminine and Neuter. Everything that He, She and It can ever want. 1 spoke to sad but kindly men on this newspaper who have met every celebrity arriving from the United States for the past 30 years. They all say that this deadly, winking, sniggering, snuggling, chromium-plated, scent- impregnated, luminous, quiver- ing, giggling, fruit-flavored, min- cing, ice-covered heap of mother- love has had the biggest reception and impact on London since Charlie Chaplin arrived at the . same station, Waterloo, on September 12, 1921. This appalling man — and | use the word appalling in no other than its true sense of “terrifying” — has hit this country in a way that is as violent as Churchill receiving the cheers on V.E. Day. He recks with emetic language that can only make grown men fong for a quiet corner, an aspidistra, a handkerchief and the old heave-ho. Without doubt he is the biggest sentimental vomit of all time. Slobbering over his mother, winking at his brother, and coun- ting the cash at every second, this superb piece of calculating candy- floss has an answer for every situation. On Religion: ‘‘! feel I can bring people closer to God through my appearances. | happen to be a religious man, and I want my marriage to be blessed with my faith.’* On Mother Love: “I think it is my mother love which so many of them (middle-aged women) do not get from their children.” On World Love: ‘‘} want to spread the world of Love, Love of Family, Love of God and Love of Peace.”’ On Money: ‘I think people love lovely things — and they are deductable from income tax. |! earn about a million dollars a year and could earn more if J tried harder: but | only manage to keep nine cents out of each dollar 1 earn.’ On the occasion in New York at a concert in) Madison Square Garden when he had the greatest reception of his life and the critics slayed him mercilessly, Liberace said: ‘‘The take was terrific but the critics killed me. My brother George cried all the way to the bank.*’ Nobody since Airnee Semple Macpherson has purveyed a big- ger, richer and more varied slap- heap of lilac-colored hokum. Nobody anywhere ever made so much money out of high-speed piano playing with the ghost of Chopin gibbering at every note. There must be something wrong with us that our teenagers longing for sex and our middle-aged matrons fed up with sex, alike should fall for such a sugary mountain of jingling claptrap wrapped up in such a preposterous clown, ~*~ & * Liberace had lived with a “companion” for years, and when the Mirror heard of the entertainer’s AIDS-prompted death, its comment was: ‘‘WE WANT OUR MONEY BACK!” WV opens facilities ON MARCH 14 and 15, the West Vancouver Parks and Recreation Department in recognition of the district's 75th anniversary, is open- ing some of its recreational facili- ties to the public for free. The ice arena will be open March 14 from 1:30 to 3 p.m. and on March 15 from 1:15 to 2:45p.m. The aquatic centre will be free for public programs those days. Fitness classes are open March 14 from 9:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. and on March 15 at 9:30a.m. SMontreaT Trust ¢ é ALAC ESTATE REAL ESTATE Under our roof we can ease your transition froma studentto a team member of professional real estate agents. MONTREAL TRUST is committed to building the best in the business. We pro- vide comprehensive, ongoing training and support, the kind af support you need to become a success. lf you’re currently working toward your licence and review- ing your career options, give us a Call ... we're approachable. Our nationwide network of rapidly ex- panding offices encourages and rewards the individual Strengths of our agents. We also offer weekly pre- licencing tutorials. 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