By Ginnie Beardsley It is unfair to say, as some have, that the Alaska Highway was laid out by a couple of drunken engineers on a lost weekend. The truth is that the locations of the tortuous route from northern British Columbia to Alaska was determined by the need to build the highway as quickly as possible — and that meant following the river valleys and avoiding the mountains wherever possible. The highway was the response of the United States Army to what was seen as the threat of a *‘back-door™ invasion through Alaska in-- the Second World War. United States Army engine- ers, sleeping in tents in weather that dropped as low as -55°C, laid out the 1,523-mile route that would give access to Alaska by road. Contractors followed, bulldozing the very basic road in sections of about 50 miles to a contract. and making it barely passable with hundreds of ‘‘cats’’. Trucks in their thousands brought in life’s and con- struction’s necessities, and the highway was, incredibly, finished in October, 1942, eight months after it was begun. A TRAVEL | BRITISH COLUMBIA | ADVENTURE ROAD | Quite a few improvements have been made in the 35 years since the highway was built, when bridges consisted simply of pilings with planks laid across, but the Alaska Highway is still an adventure road. The highway starts at the Mile 0 sign on the wide, wide . ‘streets of the pleasantly Prairie town of Dawson Creek; is paved as far as a place called Blueberry just beyond the oil centres of Taylor and Fort St. John: is good but gravel for the rest of its miles in British Columbia and the Yukon. From the Alaska border to its end at Fairbanks, the high- way is paved. The Peace River country. where the highway has its start. is characterized by wide views of golden grain- fields and big sweeping river vistas. Major population centres are few. but centres MILE 340 of the Alaska Highway [B.C. Govt photo] offering lodging. food and gas are situated strategical- ly. frequently at scenic lake or river bank sites. Camp- sites are even more frequent. for this is campers’ country. CARRY SPARES Like any gravel road. the Alaska Highway offers the hazards of flying rock, dust Conds, When dry and soggy scctions when wet. and severe wear on tires. It is advisable not only to observe the speed limit but also to carry various spare parts for your vehicle, especially if it’s a foreign make. Although the pioneer spirit still prevails. the davs of construction, when huge numbers of spare parts were kept in stock and a bottle of whiskey which sold for five dollars in Fairbanks and 40 in- White- horse would get you anything. are long gone. During the construction, truckers were told to drive 100 vards behind the vehicle in front and to keep their lights on. The reason? Easier to find if you dropped through the muskeg . or not-quite frozen. ice .of a hidden lake. Even now, it's still a good idea. since it keeps vou visible in fiving dust. The high points of this adventure trip? Fort Nelson. Mile 472 with its mineral licks and attendant game. fishing at Sinkanni Chief River, **Suicide Hill" (once a real problem for truckers. but now a pleasant diversion in otherwise flat country). and Liard River Hot Springs. Last stopping: place in British Columbia is Lower Post—and thete’s no Upper Post. Then the adventure road goes on to the Yukon, and eventually all the way to ’ Alaska. Seems like there’s a helluva fuss goin’ on lately about this here Bi-lingual thing wot the Guv’mint is tryin’ to stuff down our necks. The whole thing makes jest as littel sense as enythin’ wot cums frum the Guv’mint ... except it costs a lot more than their usual shenanigans! It’s sorta like thrashin’ out . a bunch of statutes after a ‘year or so of jumpin’ up an down makin’ speeches like they wus all on pogo sticks - jest to tell folks wot get married how to figger out workin’ in double harness. Wot I mean is, it’s jest sumthin’ best left fer to work out natcheral like. _ F'rinstance, most folks has a mighty gud regard fer Will Shakespeare. Wen the mov- ies an the TV figger on tryin’ a shur fire thing instid of the crud folks is gettin’ tired of, they turn to Shakespeare... an ev'ry dang one has bin a box-office hit so far! But if the politishuns had been runnin’ things, they wud have legislated this into the dialogue: **Daw, you have begecked me! I yuke to pingle with you and yerk you until you ghost! . (Bein’ wot it means, jest so’s you have to read all the Back Porch!) _ , natcheral-born sneaky, I'll tell you at the end Enyways, wot I mean is, sum things is best left fer to Straten themselves out with the best grease in the world, wich is TIME. F'’rinstance, after sufferin’ French fer two or three excrooshiatin’ years about forty years ago, I ain’t had a chanct so far to ask *“Where is the pen of my Aunt*’ ... or to ask a feller to *“Ouvrez la fenetre’’. But there have shur as heck bin a lotta times I wud have wanted to find where the john was ... in a hurry!: It’s sorta like studyin’ Spanish a yere er so ago, wen I tuk the wife an me: to México, after figurin’ the best way to keep the Guv'mint’s hands outta my pockits wus to spend it before they got it. ‘ Well, sir, first things cum . first, I sez - so I memorized the important one: “*Por favor, Senor - donde esta el bano por los hom- bres?"’ General speakin’, by the time they figgered wot I wanted, it wus too late! ! orn er f i r . | lle "By Bill Clark — hack porch So the next yere, an the next time arount, I ast an old Mexican as he ses ‘‘It's rele simple, Senor. **You holds yerself rele urgent an you luks sorts agonized.. Then you ses, ‘Amigo ... El Excusade, PRONTO!’ ”’ Well, sir, [luks it up in the ‘armful of Spanish dictionar- ies I wus carryin’, an be danged if I cud find **Excusado"’ in one of ‘em! So I tossed ’em all out an fer the rest of the trip I carried the expensive one. It fit real handy in my hip pockit - an I found it rele useful! The paper wus high-class an tore out nice and square. | Y'see, langwidge is sum- thin’ politishuns shud keep their sticky fingers outta ... like, frinstance, the Sputnik. | keep fi Seems like in 1957, Ameri- cans figgered everythin’ wot wus BIGGEST and BEST cum frum the U. S. of A. - includin’ American as she wus spoke. So they sorta ignored teachin’ languages of two-bit countries in their colleges, an concentrated on football. AN IANS NIK! THEN THE ROOS- LAUNCHED SPUT- Wen they recovered frum the shock, fellers in the States got a second one ... Prof. Mikhailov, Director of the Institute of Scientific and Technical Information of the | U. S. S. R. Academy of Sciences, showed up in Washington an tolt them that all the appeared in Roosian scienti- fic journals a year before! Wen the American reco- vered frum shock an scram- bled thru the back files, they found he wusen't kiddin’! ... an it wusen’t long before the Presidio of Monterey, in California had four or five thousand fellers, all the way frum buck privates to colo- nels, studyin’ THIRTY for- eign languages, with four hundred instructors! But teachin’ the Army where the next Sputnik is comin’ frum is a helluva lot differant than readin’ French on the corn flakes box - wich is wot our Guv’mint is spendin’ millyuns to do. information had. So the way I sees it, if we are trying to sell Canada’s products to the rest of the world, it ain't gonna do a helluva lotta gud to sav in High School French ‘‘Ouvrez la fenetre!”’ F’rinstance, kids wot are majoring in the Rovsian colleges in the sciences take up to TWELVE YEARS ina compulsory foreign language +. wile our kids have a helluva time even talkin’ English! All of wich shur makes a feller think that sumbody shud be takin’ a close luk at our kids, their langwidge problims ... an, somehow, I don’t think it shud be the Guv'mint! After all, we are tryin’ to sell timber an metal an ev'ry other goldang thing we produce. We are tryin" to sell it all over the world ... but who in heck is buyin’ Bilingual cornflakes!? Footnote, fer them as has tuffed it out so far: Shakes- peare’s translashun above, expressed in modern lang- widge is this: DO, 1 . “Fool, you have cheated. me! 1 itch to fight with you and hit you till you die!"’ IS YOUR CAR READY FOR WINTER DRIVING? SAFE DRIVING [S A FAMILY AFFAIR Help your guests At this year’s holiday party, prove your lavishness . as a host, says the B.C. Automobile Association, by centreing the attention on lots of good food and fun, not the bar. Rich food helps moderate the effect of alcohol and party games leave less time for toasting. Be ‘First a Friend, Then a Host"’ and help your driving guests steer clear of trouble this Christmas. ; Make sure your guests leave the party in a sober, safe condition. If the partygoer 1s too tipsy to drive. home, arrange transportation or keep him over night. Do it the BCAA way, ard avoid any unpleasant accidents this holiday season.