awe apad? then, t
engl Relea ‘HH

A few times over the {

past millyun' words, the —
Back Porch has flang off ©
a story. wich takes
excepshun to scientifick
‘theories. F’rinstance, I

took a whack at Dar-_ :

win’s Theory of Evol-
ushun, ._becus
mankind had cum down
frum the trees a ZIL-
LION YEARS AGO—
jest so they cud” have
more
-ground fer. causin’
trubble. = °

‘This wun got shot down in
flames, becus the way we .
have been cuttin’.down the

trees, we wud have had to
cum down anyway! 7

On. v uther hand, ‘there’: s
Newton’ s - Law—wich ses
energy can’t .be created or
destroyed: *, The “’ Guv’mint.
killt that one real. quick,
becus wen you watch them
fellers on TV, speechifyin’ an .
poundin’ desks like crazy,
they are shur as heck creatin’
a lotta sound an. fury gettin’.
nowhere! oan

Next you “have Einstein’ Ss
Theory of Relativity. Mebbe

‘it’s okay—franfkly, : I dunno, -

becus it’s so tangled up with. .
fancy mathematicks! Jest the
same, when. it. cums. to |
Relativity, 1 figeér I ami. an-

EXPERT! The wife’s - -rela-~" :

tives cum outta the bushes |
‘thicker’n fleas:-on. a hound -
dawg, jest aS soon ‘as we get’
a@‘roast in the pantry. If that
ain’t. enuf. material fer a.
Theory,” ‘you jest ain’t never
. “seen the wife’ Ss: ‘relatives!

‘The one that really gets me_

. (ani it gets me rite HERE!) is |

the Guvmint’s Theory of
Economic Recovery.

sorte f’rinstance) at. Canada
Savings Bonds.

ave

Basically (as a millyun
bucks worth of TV = an
‘newspaper advertising tries -
to prove) it attempts to follow
the . Keynesian . theory : of

economic control over ‘infla-.

tion. This mean you take
purchasing power from the
people. -As.a result, prices’ -
are .s’posed to start a
‘downward snival, to meet the
dollars. that. folks © ain’t
got—becus the Guv’mint has
taxed ‘em to hell and gone!

0) WoT HAPPENS? The .
Guv'’mint goes on a bloody.
spending spree with the tax
dollars. Ol’ Bill -gets one
meat ball less in the wife’s
goulash.. There’s’ a loud»
whirring sound, while Mister
Keynes whirls ‘in frustration

in his grave...as the Guv’-

mint pours the loot down a.
large hole. 4

As the Auditor General
has tried to show (with
increasing frustration) it wud
be a helluva lot better if folks
cud buy milk an shoes fer the
kids, ‘rather than a zillion-
dollar office complex in
Ottawa—jest ‘to house a
thousand more civil servants
wich breed like toadstools on
a warm October nite! woe

a oe

So let's return to. 0. Canada
Savings Bonds. Followin’ the
Keynesian ‘Theory down: the ”

esas sek

‘it. -sed-

room on the

Ye Rbas eacnee

only that, but. the Guv’ mint -

Jy, takes | a fat. slice of arount
_ thirty ‘percent ‘off the -inter- —

est; when ‘the Infernal
Revenoo Departmint get
their sticky fingers on the 8
percent. folks . THOUGHT .
they wud get. That. brings it
down to ZILCH!...and it still
goes down the same. ‘BIG |
. HOLE!

But things get
crazier, altho it. _ seems -
impossible.. After bleedin’

folks white with taxes an.
then skimmin’ off the cream.
with Canada. Savings Bonds, °
THESE IDJUTS. IS. GONNA
GIVE IT BACK AGIN’!

my Seven Hunnert an Fifty.

* Million Tax Cut’’ it ses, rite

-in the Big Paper! —
“After. chopping thw work-

dn’ ‘stiff. down to. ‘the bone,

they are now gonna change

horses in the middle of the.

_crick an ‘give us a few bucks |
to buy the kids new shoes? . ,

It's like watchin’ ‘a..100-:

metre . sprint—WITH
EVERYBODY RUNNIN’ IN

a - OPPOSITE DIRECKSHUNS!
‘Let's take:a look (jest as a ©

* * &

And this brings us, Sorta

gentie like, to:a feller named. .
Lewis Carroll. He wrote a.

book a hunnert years ago, °

wich is still a classic when it

cums to Theories Fer, Under- . :

standing the Guv’mint. It’s’

called ‘‘Alice in Wonder- .
Jand.”’ ha
Listen gently, .° “folks: -

Things ain’t changed ‘much .

in a hunnert years!

‘An in the golden afternoon :

Full leisurely we glide:.

‘For all our oars, with little © ;

a . skill,
By little arms are plied, |
While little hands make vain

“pretence

- Our wanderings to guide.” -

Y’see, folks, ‘Alice in . a
Wonderland’. (although on

most folks figger it wus jest'a
‘fairytale fer kids) wus actu-
ally a classic satire on the:
fumblings of vovernments...
AS TRUE TODAY AS IT.
WAS A CENTURY AGO! _

nightmare “path - ‘that : gets ,
nowhere, it bleeds off pur-).
chasin’. power—an provides.
a few billyun dollars more fer”
-THE BIG HOLE, jest back ‘of:
. the Parliment Buildings. Not

even -

- ‘The annual Christmas Seal .

~ Campaign,souce of funding
for the many Christmas Seal
projects around the. province,

will begin. on’ November 1.

with “a mailing ‘of: 160, 000°
Christmas “Seal | °° appeal
letters to” homes throughout
British Columbia: The initial.

“mailing will-be followed on—

November . 19 with another

mailing of | approximately
950,000 householder appeal.
letters to every home in 1 the |

Province: ©

where citizens of Toronto and |
Hamilton raised a little more .
than $7,300 to help victims of

: tuberculosis. In

1976,
$595,000. was. raised in

British Columbia: through the
Christmas Seal Campaign to

be used in the fight against

call respiratory | disease, in-
cluding © asthma, tubercul-

osis, emphysema ; and chronic

bronchitis.

_ Christmas Seal “funds are
used to finance: many impor-

~ tant projects in the field of

“y he 4977 Christmas Seals”
’were -designed by the late

Dr. Paul Mari, a Vancouver

chest physician | who | ‘had

_, worked extensively with the |

probiem of tuberculosis ‘con-.

trol - ‘among Native. . Canad-

ians, "particularly: in. the
-northern ‘reaches of Canada..
His designs are fashioned .

after. the. art. of Canadian
_ Eskimos, and include bright-
“-ly colored’ rising“‘suns’and _
human figures in _Eskimo
‘parkas. :

ren

we DES B

tmas Seals ori inated

in Denmark in.1903 as a
means of collecting funds for
homeless orphans, -and by.
_ 1907, the idea was in Canada”

FA

HAIR DESIGN)
102 WEST 3rd STREET |
-NORTH VANCOUVER.
TELEPHONE 986-1146 |

- medical research, as well as

to» provide education. to
practitioners and

‘medical
the lay public. In 1976, the —
Society’s Nurse Educator

spoke to. 11,000. students

around. the ‘province, .
Operation - Kick. | It,

and
the

Society’s. free. smoking cess-. .
-ation program, helped more _
than 1,000 British Colum.
. _bians: to kick the habit. - .

sinie 198i, the Society has —
approved grants © totalling |
$415,000 to assist in the

‘construction of health units
in all parts of the province —
and has awarded hundreds of —
thousands of dollars to

"Various British _ Columbia

medical equipment to be

used in the treatment of |

respiratory

disease or in
‘research. _ ——

"The society is’ also’ the

organizer of Operation Door- -

step, the mobile chest. x-ray
‘service that is so familiar in
all parts. of the province, and

which, over the past ten
“has - ‘provided . free

years, |
chest x-rays toa quarter of a
million people living in rural
areas of British Columbia.
‘Financial assistance to needy.

sufferers: of respiratory dis- |

- OVER 600 YOUNGSTERS _ a
: Joined . ine the pumpkin...

_ Mall last week in ‘prepa-
: ‘ration for Halloween. The .
- $0 cent. ‘charge. ‘raised -
more: than ‘$300 ‘forthe
. United © oe *
‘Kendrick Photo]. .

hospitals for. the purchase of

at Capilano —

Way |

ease is another: service of 2

Christmas Seals.

i

I [Look for the Red awning ‘Sine ; a 7:

Tues, bal Sat. wwe
10: 00 a.m. « 8: so pam.

Coa

‘Hilda Mendel fashion: dosignor % will aty
coat to your’ ize vand colour Speoiftoat one. ,

"BORDEAUX -
“FROM A. &R: BARRIERE

fe pha