4 ~ Friday, December 21, 1990 - North Shore News “ven Rudolph can be made obsolete A FABLE for Christmas, 1990. Itis called: RANDOLF, THE BLACK-NOSED REINDEER Once upon a time, as recently as last year, there was born in Santaland a sweet little reindeer. His mother, licking him in the chilly dawn of a late spring day, said: ‘*Won’t Santa be pleased! | will call you Randolph.” But when darkness fell it was apparent that something was ter- ribly wrong. For his grandfather, whose name was Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, leaned over the tussock of grass where the newborn baby lay and cried: ‘‘What! Qu’est-ce que c'est? This child has a black nose!”’ The other reindeer, ringed around lite Randolph, drew back in horror, their red noses flashing furiously in time with Rudolph’s, **A black nose!’’ whispered one to the reindeer behind him. **Did you say ‘a black nose?’ *” giggled that one, turning up his own red nose to a full 300 watts and craning his neck to see. Thus all of Santa's reindeer stared and laughed and pranced around, noses glowing, until the commotion attracted Santa Claus himself. **Well, these things happen,”’ said Santa philosophically, chuck- ing little Randolph under the chin. “This little fella could have his day. There’s a place for everyone in Santa’s world.’’ But when Santa left, the mock- ing and jeering resumed. And so it continued as Randolph the Black-nosed Reindeer was growing up. All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names. Yet he had one quiet backer. His grandfather, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. **] remember what it was like to be different,’* Rudolph mused one day to Randolph’s mother. **Yes, Granddad,’’ said she. **But you were a pioneer in in- tergalatial navigational aids. And once the genetics department at the University of Santaland recognized that, with your nose so red, you were a great evolutionary advancement over Santa’s other reindeer, why, it was only a mat- ter of time before all of us were bred to have noses like you.”’ “Except poor Randolph,”’ sigh- ed Rudolph. “Obviously he’s some kind of throwback.”* Christmas Eve arrived. Santa’s reindeer pranced with excitement. Their breath made icy clouds in the air. Poor Randolph was left out. His mother tried tying a rear bicycle light over his black, soft nose. But it only looked funny. Besides, she hadn’t noticed the print on the box saying Batteries Not Included, and it was too late to get any because all the stores were closed. The other reindeer were hitched to the sled, bulging with toys for the world’s children. Then Santa appeared, jumped in, and witha CONGRATULATIONS BLAIR WILSON! On achieving one of the highest U.RE. marks in the firms of Ernst & Young. This young man is going places! Trevor Lauiens AARDEN OF BIASES jolly ‘“‘Ho! Ho! Ho!” took off through the perfectly clear night air. The reindeers’ noses glowed like mad. But hardly had they got under way when Santa heard the roar of a siren and found himself being waved over to the side of the Milky Way by a very tough-look- ing member of the Space Police. “Okay, Mac,” said the Space Policeman, putting one foot firm- ly on the curled-up part of the sl- ed’s front runner. ‘‘What’s the bit about the flashing red lights?” “Why, these are my red-nosed reindeer,’’ Santa protested. “Red lights — on the front ofa sled?’* jeered the Space Police- man. ‘*Buddy, do you know what confusion that’s going to cause traffic? Are you not familiar with Section 26 (c), Subsection iv, of the Intersteller Highway Act?” The Space Policeman read ina loud, nasal tone from the book: * ‘Red lights are to be affixed to the rear of all vehicles travelling in Space and Time, and shall be il- luminated between dawn and dusk.’ ” “But [ can’t put my reindeer at the back of my sleigh, and turn them around so that theirs red noses are facing the other way,” Santa protested. “Which reminds me,’’ said the \ policeman, walking around the Sleigh and staring ai it with a crit- ical eve, “tyou also do nor appear to have a rear brake light situated between 24 and 48 inches from the ground, contrary Co statutory re- quirements. By the way, how old are you, Mac?" “About 2,000 years,’’ Santa admitted. **Pretty old to be driving in traffic like this,”* said the Space Policeman, as a satellite whizzed by at great speed. “At your age, you should be re-tested every year. it’s murder out there tonight. | know — I used to patrol the San- ta Ana Freeway. Now, why don’t you just turn around and go home?”’ {t was a terribly chastened and sad Santa, and even sadder reindeer, their noses barely glow- ing, who puiled back into the loading bay at Santaland. “What will 1 do?”* fretted San- ta. ‘It will break the hearts of the world’s children if | don’t deliver my toys tonight.”’ Then up jumped Randolph, the Black-Nosed Reindeer. His eyes were shining with eagerness. Santa, let me help!"”’ “Why, Randolph, what can you do?”’ Santa asked. Then he saw the wonderful glow in Randolph's eyes. Santa bent down and tenderly stroked his ears. ‘‘Randolph with your eyes so bright, you will lead my sleigh tonight.’” With Randolph’s grandfather bursting with pride, and the other reindeer crammed into the sleigh nose-backwards and glowing in conformity with the Traffic Act, Santa took off again. Randolph’s eyes illuminated the way. “Ho! Ho! Ho!” cried Santa. “Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas to all!’* And his boom- ing greeting bounced off Jupiter, hit Saturn, and spun off forever into Time and Space. MORAL: Timing is everything, baby. And, from the heart, a Merry Christmas indeed. “7 need some. insurance.” 66 I'm Mike O’Connor and I can help you with that. So can other insurance agencies. but at NorCu we can offer you something different — we're affiliated with North Shore Credit Union. That means we have a high standard of customer service. It also means we're going to be here for the long term, serving you with property insurance, life insurance, auto insurance and more. 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