6 - Wednesday, December 26, 1985 - North Shore:News Editorial Page Xmas paradox he season of goodwill and love for all ‘ mankind — as we traditionally describe Christmas — is a concept containing a : Strange paradox. Not that there’s any lack of well-wishing and affection for our feliow human beings this December, as in all previous Decembers. Contrary to popular eynicism, it's amply demonstrated in the stores — where condi- tions often guarantee ‘hat love is the ONLY reason the weary but dogged gift-seckers con- tinue to hang in there. It abounds in schools, service clubs and community groups with their Christmas con- certs and parties, many devoted {o entertain- ‘ing children and lonely seniors. It’s evident in the temporary volunicers who flock forward to help every good Yuletide cause. _ ‘It’s expressed, in particular, by the generous - piiblic. donations being received this year by the North Van Christmas Bureau — faced with a sharply increased number of needy . families, who would otherwise face a hungry, and. giftless, holiday. The paradox lies in a very obvious question: why should this huge, spontaneous outflow of goodwill and love be confined to a single short two-month ‘’season’’? Why can’t it continue year round as a.permanent feature of every- day life from January 2 to October 31 as well? ’ If that happened, many of society’s big pro-: “* bieims would’ swiftly vanish. ; . - That, of course, is what the Man whose bir- . thday we celebrate again tomorrow strove to ; demonstrate. by His personal example — the operative: word. being ‘‘personal’’. Ultiniately, the ‘world’s ills won't ever be * cured by. governments and mass movements. --Only by INDIVIDUALS who keep their per- ., sonal Christmas spirit as alive in March, June . and September as it is right at this reoment. of: its ‘“‘commercialization’? nowadays : ny erooges wh o dump ¢ on Christmas because ; -should think again. Reading between the “ines ‘of the Bible story, one gets the impres- sion that they were having a high-spending old ~ time in Bethlehem that first Christmas, with not : a single hotel room left in. ‘the whole place and . the‘local bazaars ‘ashing in. When people go * ona spending spree, it invariably means they’re celebrating, good; inews!.. f Display Advertising 980-0511 Classified Advertising 986.6222 Newsroom 985.2131 be — = Circulation 986-1337 § SUNDAY © WEDNESDAY « FRIDAY Subscriptions 986-1337 & 1139 Lonsdale Ave., North Vancouver, B.C. V7M 2H4 publisher: Peter Speck operations mgr. advertising director Berni Hilliard Linda Stewart editor-in-chief managing editor Noet Wright Nancy Weatherley North Shore News, founded in’ 1969 as an independent suburvan newspaper and qualified under Schedule Il, Part I, Paragraph tl of the Excise Tax Act, is published each Wednesday, Friday ana Sunday by North Shore Free Press Ltd. and distubuted to every door on tne Norih Shore. Second Ciass Mail Registration Number 3885. Entire contents °° 1985 Notth Shore Free Press Lid. All rights feserved. Member of the B.C. Press Council 56,245 (average,. Wednesday Friday & Sunday) . Soa rt SN". THIS. PAPER IS RECYCLABLE , athoroughly delightful gift. I could ‘not have been more ; Now, really they are beautiful, CHRISTMAS WOULD NOT BE CHRISTMAS without its immortal stories like ‘Good King Wenceslas’’, ‘‘A Christmas Carol” and ‘A Child’s Christmas in Wales’’. To these belongs, too, that poignant saga of unrequited romantic. love — ‘The True Story Affectionately, Behind the. Twelve Days of Agnes Christmas’’. kk & Asa public service to over- : ™ ly eager Yuletide suitors, FOCUS presents it again this Christmas Eve, adapted (and heavily censored for our fami- ly newspaper!) from Willard Espy’s ‘Another Almanac of Words at Play’’.- With acknowlegements also to West Van'’s..Herb and Helen. McDonald who first brought it to our notice. kkk December 14 Dear John: | 1 went to the door today and the postman de’ivered a December 18 ‘Dear John: : What a surprise! Today the postman delivered five golden partridge in a pear (vee. What ., rings — one for every finger! You’re just too impossible but I love it! Frankly, all those surprised. squawking birds were begin- With deepest love and ning to get on my nerves. devotion, All my Jove, Agnes Agnes kk * kk December 19 December 15 ; Dear John: Dear John: When | opened my door this morning there were ac- tually six geese a-laying right there on the doormat! So you’re back to birds again, Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just im- agine, TWO turtle doves! | am just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are eh? These geese are HUGE! “ All + love And just where do you think Apes ° os I’m going to keep them? | eres kk can't sleep at night and I'm getting to be a nervous wreck, It's just not funny any more. The racket is driving me crazy! Cordially, Agnes December 16 Dear John: Oh! Aren't: you the ‘ex- travagant one! Now | must REALLY protest. 1 do not deserve such generosity ... three French hens! They are just darling but | must insist, you have been too kind. enough? You’re being 100 | Noel Wright _ December 20 Dear John: . Will you tell me, please, what’s with you and all the’ bloody, birds? Seven swans a- swimming! Just what do you think you’re pulling off here? Who gave you the right to do this to: me? There’s bird (BLIP) all over the house and ° focus 6 they never stop with their noise. It’s just not funny any more, So stop with the (BLIP) birds! You hear me? Agnes a ; a a ae December 21 O.K. buster ...1 think I prefer the birds. So now, tell me... what am | supposed to do with cight maids a- milking? And it’s not enough with all these filthy birds and the maids, but they brought their damn cows too! Lay off me, smartass! One who MEANS IT! kkk December 22 Hey, meathead, what ARE you? Some kind of sadist? Now there are nine’ pipers playing and by golly DO THEY PLAY! They've never stopped chasing those dairy- EDITOR'S NOTE Those planning the same 12-day Christmas gift for their Love, loved ones are advised to arrange financing in advance. Agnes Total December 1985 cost — including: cultured ker California pear tree; Grade A poultry; 24-carat gold rings; December 17 Dear John: Today the postman delivered four calling birds. A . »850. but don't you think enough is Pprox, $54,850 jacuzzi for swans, plus installation and plumbing; cattle feed; regular Equity or ACTRA rates for all performers, plus CPP and UIC contributions; customs dues; in- surance; freight; sales taxes; service fee. Easy does it, Xmas lover! smelling maids since they got - here and the cows are upset -- and they’re stepping all over. the birds, and the neighbors. ; have started an eviction thing ‘’ to get’ me out of here, * YOU'LL GET YOURS! December 23 . You miserable sonofa . (BLIP)! Now there are ten ‘ ladies dancing! But I don’t. - know why I call these made-’. up sluis. ladies. They’ve been” ‘hankypankying -with those knock-kneed pipers all night - long and besides, the. cows °. _ can’t sleep and they've all got: _ dysentery. ‘The building in-.: spector has subpoenaed me to’ show cause why the building < shouldn't be condemned. I'm setting the police on you! I hope you get -10 years. * -T hate you, Agnes a 2 December 24 . Now look, you horrible lit- . tle toad. Remember the eleven’ lords a-leaping? What do you - think they’ve been a-leaping on? Those eighteen maids and ladies, that’s what! And the. pipers joined them, and then, when they all ran through that lot, they started on the cows and they’re still at it. And all twenty-three birds are dead because they were trampled in the orgy! Are you satisfied NOW, you vicious, rotten. monster? Your Sworn Enemy kkk December 25 Dear Sir: This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers fiddling which you have in- flicted upon our client, Miss Agnes Mendolstein. The destruction of her townhouse was total. All future cor- respondence should come to our attention. Should you at- tempt to reach Miss Mendol- stein at the Bideawee Sanator- ium, the attendants have in- structions to shoot you on sight. Please find attached a warrant for your arrest. LAW OFFICES Budger, Bender, Baarp & Builthorpe: