Fantasy farm in perspective DRIVING PAST Fantasy Gardens the other day I was surprised to see that the windmil! arms were still turning. What with one thing and another, I expected them to have fallen off. There are grins to be gotten out of almost everything, though, and while watching that famous patch pitch its lights to the sky 1 remembered that when I was in Toronto fast week a friend asked me what the ‘‘Fantasy Farm af- fair’? was all about. “It’s about living on a funny farm,’* I retorted. Funny stuff is in big supply in our politics, of course. We have had funny tuna fish on the Atlan- tic Coast that smell only slightly and funny refugees arriving by the million and funny Francophones telling us what language to speak. Plus Pricey Spicer’s stuff. It has to be admitted, though, that the Vander Zalm imbroglio is one of the funniest things of all. The thought of the premier of all the British Columbias stuffing $20,000 into a brown paper bag and making off into the night claiming it was to buy some Taiwanese gent a nice bit of jade is better than Charley’s Aunt. Lalso liked that bit in which he thought there really wasn’t much to what he’d done provided no one knew about it. Eric Nicol or some gag-writer of equal talent should write a play called ‘‘The Flowers And Foibles of Fantasy Farm.”” But, eager though your scribe is to join the Greek chorus of con- demnation, sanctimoniousness and endless sermonizing, he cannot get into a slather about B.C.’s big Doug Collins ON THE OTHER HAND scandal. The story’s just too fun- ny. Yes, the Slam lied. Yes, he owned Fantasy Farm all the while he was flashing his molars and saying it was Lillian’s. But 1 never believed that from day one, any- way Besides, i is there a politician on the continent who hasn’t lied? Ly- ing is what makes their day. It is with some reluctance that one tries to put the stuff of Fan- tasy Farm in perspective. But try one must. What I mean is, did Vander Zalm steal the silly place from someone? Did his wife go around sporting black eyes?"Did he tram- ple on the public tulips or.beat his dog? Did he double your taxes? No, he was just a fool. He thought he could do what he liked with his own property and still be premier. (Mind you, that he was in the middle of the Petro-Can deal did make me blink a bit.) Well, you may ask. Who wants a fooi in that job? t do, provided he’s the righ: kind of fool. I would rather have that kind of fool! than the sort who hands out bags of public money — even if it isn’t in brown paper parcels — to government employees, teachers, and other friends of the cause. Ain’t that a kind of canflict of interest? In their desire to hang on to power, the ‘‘new’’ Socreds look as if they will try to play the NDP game. Anything to please the Vancouver Evening Wimp and its relatives. Already, Rita Johnston is mut- tering about ‘'a different ap- proach’ and about how she’s go- ing to deal with ‘women’s prob- lems.”’ But did she have any prob- lem in becoming premier? I say a pox on women’s prob- lems, which are phonier than baloney. Women’s problems are no different from men’s. And aren't there more male suicides than female, and aren’t they on the increase? What about that? Rita is a nice lady, but it would have been more cheering if she had given a fighting speech and announced she was still going to rol! back those increases that the fat-cat teachers have got, and that she will take away their right to strike. There’s something else. Just be- fore he left, Vander Zalm prom- Development procedures bylaw strengthened CHANGES TO the bylaw cover- ing development procedures were introduced at Monday night’s West Vancouver District Council meeting. By Maureen Curtis Contributing Writer The bylaw defines the pro- cedures under which a land owner may apply for an amendment to a plan or bylaw or the issue of a permit concerning development on his property. The new law strengthens the provision for public input in rezonings and development per- WEST VANCOUVER DISTRICT COUNCIL mits and allows additional infor- mation to be obtained. le dictates that council hold a public hearing on any rezoning application and that council also consider holding a public meeting on any rezoning application. Notice of public hearings and meetings will be given to owners and tenants living on Jand within 10@ metres from the perimeter of the site in question, while those within 50 metres will be informed when a matter concerning a de- velopment variance permit or renewal is up for council con- sideration, Representatives of local fatepayer groups have already submitted their opinions and sug- gestions about the procedures byiaw, some of which were in- cluded in staff's final draft. For instance, neither Roy Bar- tholemew of the Gleneagles Ratepayers nor former alderman Doreen Blackburn thought it in- appropriate for council to waive the requirement for a _ public meeting without making a resolu- tion to that effect. CUSTOM MADE VERTICAL BLIND SALE 94 Beautiful discontinued fabrics to choose from. Available now at these incredible low prices till quantities last. w [ze so aor [ son] 72" | [er Joe ro” 1a" oee [is rs 180” | 192"| L $ $ $ [ra [va [om [a [aso [ove [ses [aor [nn [or [ase [are [oe [2 [00 Fra [|r| 196 | 186 | 186 [202 | ate | 208 | 261 | 281 | 201 | ozs | 240 | 264 [ran [ee [104 [120 | 10 65 [tr [207 [zor [aso | 20 [20 [ao | 352 | 375 | 397 ee" | co |e | sf es [ato [ann | ao {sor Lae sr [nt fon | oe [sa” | 96 | s16 [144 | 165 | 195 | 210 | 247 | 27s | 0 | 930 | 57 | 901 | 407 | 434 | 464 | or] || 3 | 5 a0 [zs fas 204 | 328 | 253 | 976 | 402 | 428 | 487 20" 0625 15 [s a6 [aco [2 [oe [ve | a [ao [1 [oer [err | 0 CAPILANO DRAPERIES CELEBRATING OUR 15th ANNIVERSARY 114A West 15th St. North Vancouver 988-5621 Wednesday, April 10, 1991 - North Shore News - 9 COLONY FEATURES ineeyli WASHERS AND DRYERS ised to introduce a referendum and recall system. Referendum means that we pea- sants would actually have a say in what the politicians do rather than having to stand idly by while they do it. Recall means that if an MLA betrays his constituency, that constituency could call him to account. These are ideas whose time has come. Most politicians faint at such prospects. The NDP, in par- ticular, wants nothing to do with grassroots democracy. It is the champion of social engineering and government by left-wing pressure groups. It is a form of deception that is SEE THE ALL NEW DIRECT DRIVE far worse than anything Vander SUPER CAPACITY — INGLIS. Zaim did on Fantasy Farm. WASHERS & DRYERS — TOP (DUNES SUSE Beas Eee. RATED IN LATEST TEST RESULTS * FOR RELIABILITY | AND PERFORMANCE. NOW SALE PRICED AT COLONY HOME FURNISHINGS 1075 Roosevelt Cresc. 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