74 — Wednesday, November 28, 1990 - North Shore News LIFESTYLES QUESTIONS ABOUT THE Girliriend’s clinging chokes his desire Q. I AM 19 and so is my boyfriend. He is my first lover and we have a good sexual relationship. We use birth control, and he is always interested in pleasing me. But in the beginning of our refa- tionship, I was No. 1 with him. He would spend most of his weekends with me and always drop plans with his buddies if 1 wanted him to be with me. Now he sets aside one weekend night to go out with buddies, no matters what I say or do. Is there something a little sick about 2 man who'd rather be with his friends than his girl? This is causing a problem between us that Tam afraid will affect our sex life. He says I am selfish, but I say he is. I don’t feel first in his life anymor<, and I don’t like it. I don't feel as loving toward him when ne treats me this way. What can I do to get him away from his buddies and save our relationship? A. Lam more worried that your idea of love is a little unhealthy. Why are you jealous of his bud- dies? If you told me he was spending one night a week with another woman, | would understand your jealousy. It is healthy for him to have male friends, just as it is for you to have female friends. Don’t compete with his buddies. On the night he goes out with them, plan some enjoyable activity Dr. Ruth Westheimer ASK DR. RUTH with your girlfriends. Go te the mall or the movies. The next night you will have your own adven- tures to share with him. Maybe you don't feel so loving toward him after he’s been out because you have spent the time alone feeling sorry for yourself, Every couple benefits from time apart. If you continue to behave like a clinging woman, you will really hurt your sexual relation- ship. Q. E was married for 59 years. My husband died three years ago. 1 still miss him in all ways, in- cluding sexually, We had a wonderful sex life together until almost the very end. B.C. Residents! Book your room now at the Pan Pacific! rom 109” & per night, any night. ms It only happens once a year: the very special B.C. ‘Residents’ Rate at the Pan Pacific Hotel Vancouver — our way of saying “thani: you” for your patronage. At this very special rate, there's no better time to enjoy Van- couver's great waterfront experience. And right now is the time to book! For Reservations call (604) 662-3111 or toll-free 1-800-663-1515. *Single or double occupancy per night, plus taxes. Parking extra. Proof of B.C. residency required at check-in. Reservations based on availability at time of booking. No fimit on number of nights reserved. Not applicable to preconfirmed group rates. Children under 18 free when sharing parents’ room. Rate valid for rooms occupied between Oct. 26, 1990 and Apr. 9.1991 only. 7% G.S.T. in effect Jan. 1, 1991. Even his impotence in the final years of his life did not stop us. We satisfied each other by oral sex and foreplay. I am 84 years old and for the first time in my life, | have tried masturbating. I have found it very unfulfilling. Does the clitoris lose its sensitivity with disuse in old age? I am loathe to try mechanical means, such as a vibrator, but | wil) if you say that is the only thing to do. Help! A. Bravo to you for wanting to remain sexually alive! The clitoris does become somewhat less sen- sitive with age. You may find that a vibrator will help. The sensa- tions it produces are much stronger than the ones you pro- duce otherwise. But once you get used to a vibrator, you may have difficulty finding pleasure without it. J recommend you first read Lonnie Barbach’s book, For Yourself, to learn all the secrets of masturba- dion. Perhaps it will also help you to recall the wonderful sexual experi- ences of your marriage while you are pleasuring yourself. Q. Lam a 40-year-old divorced professional man and. joint- custody parent. I think [ am teasonably attractive, have no real bad habits like picking my teeth at See Keep page 76 GST PRICES? If you're asking how the proposed GST will affect prices, we're here to tell you. Call us toll-free Monday to Friday 9am-9pm. 1-800-668-2122 The answer is to call your GST Consumer Information Office. Hearing Impaired 1-800-465-7735 a+i Government ot Canada Gouvernement du Canada Canada THERE IS NO FREE RIDE. 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