page 6, February 16, 1977 -

North Shore News

Last year our thermometers became Celsius—
with disastrous effects on the tourist trade from
south of the border. Even those Americans
resigned to being taken to the cleaners. at
Canadian cash registers balked at vacationing in a
mid-July temperature of 22°, which to them still

means 10 degrees of frost. ~~ -

This year our miles will change to kilometres,

leading to predictable mayhem on Canada’s
holiday highways. When our U.S. friends see the
incredible new road signs reading ‘‘Maximum
Speed 80’’, down will g0 their feet right through

the floorboard. Who ca

Instead of monkeying
around with dangerous inn-
ovations like these, I wish
Canada’s Metric Commis-
sion would turn its attention
to the one really sensible and
worthwhile project it has so
far ignored completely.

The calendar

What we need most of all
is a 10-month year, with
February being the first
month to be eliminated
completely. February has
absolutely nothing in its
favor, and why St. Valentine
ever chose it is an abiding
mystery. He may _ simply
have been recovering from a
New ¥ear’s party and got his
dates mixed up.

January has at least one or
two things going for it.

CLEAN SLATE

When the hangover has:

subsided, there’s the tem-
porary euphoria of twelve
.Shining, brand-new months
ahead...noble resolutions
about how you’re going to
use them much better than
the previous  dozen...the
Christmas tree and _ lights
good for another six days
before being dismantled.

Oh yes, hope
half of January. Even the
Christmas bills take two. or
three weeks to arrive. The
weather may be lousy, but
there’s still that exhilarating
feeling of starting again with

a clean slate. I can take most

of January quite well.

But February is another
thing again.

The New Year euphoria
has completely evaporated, .
as you face the fact that this
January you did no better

than in any other January.

we

deliver fi

‘culated .once more.

springs |
-eternal during the earlier’

ame at. —...9
‘biar AIC UCHIL:

The Christmas bills are all in,
and you. find you’ve miscal-
The

weather (anart from 1977) is

wy OCA eh \eres Y Bawenan

as bad as in January, or
worse. Spring
interminable distance away.

SOMBRE SHADOW

Then come February’ s
own unique doses of misery.:
The water rate bill from the
council (up another $7). The

car insurance bill of several.

hundred dollars from ICBC.
Overdue reminders from the
department stores who lured
you into having ‘‘the best

- Christmas of your life’’...pay

later. But not much later.
Finally, the

man. True, you don’t have to

. settle with him finally for

another two months. But if
you want to save a few of

' your hard-earned bucks from

his clutches—by. ‘stashing
them away into Registered
Retirement or ‘Registered
Home Ownership plans—you
have to do it by February 28.

_And what, just at that
point in time, do you use for
cash to do it with?

yers

The North Shore News offers the

‘most efficient and

economical

delivery of flyers, brochures and
pamphlets on the North Shore.

We already cover every door on
the North Shore—all we have to do
is insert your flyer into our paper,
and pay our carriers a bonus for

each one delivered.

is still an.

sombre _
_shadow of the income tax

Quite obviously, February

should never have been
invented. We
straight from January to
March. During those first
few happy New Year days we
should) be able to _ tell
ourselves: ‘‘Just think...next
month it will be spring and
the daffodils will be out!’’

NOTHING NEW.

After all, there’s nothing

new, about changing the

calendar to suit mankind’s
convenience. Julius Caesar
added 90 whoie days to the

year 46 B.C. in order to make —

spring start in March 45 B.C.
Pope Gregory XIII chopped
10 days out of the year 1582
because the vernal equinox
—ihe first day of spring—
had somehow drifted back
from March 21 to March 11
during the preceding eleven
centuries.

Alexander’s metric calen-
dar would be = simplicity
itself. Five months of 36 days
and five of 37 days, the
36-day months alternating

with the 37-day months, for a

total of 365 days a year. And
an extra 37-day month each

I leap year.

Each of the new months,

you'll note, would bea shade

over five weeks, if we stuck >

with the present seven-day
week. An even more logical
idea, however, would be the
five-day week—three. days

_working and two days off.

This sensible arrangement

would give us 73.weekends a

year, plus statutory holidays.

~ The present 90-day calen-
dar. quarters, beloved by
lawyers and credit institut-
ions, would. give place to
73-day ‘‘fifths,”’ ‘resulting
(just: possibly) ~in: faster.
payment of bills. |

FIVES AND TENS

With all these tidy fives
and tens going for it, I can’t
imagine why the Metric
Commissioners didn’t think
of the Alexander Calendar
themselves. It makes a lot

.. More sense than advertising

frost to American tourists at
midsummer, or putting up
highway notices reading
“100 Mile House - 13 KM.”’

‘The names of the ‘Alex-
ander Calendar months, did
someone ask? Oh yes...

January, March, April,
May, June, July, August,
September, October, Dec-
ember. ;

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