LEARNING THE VIRTUE OF A LAUGH

When you thought nothing could go wrong!

EVERYTIME I arrive
anywhere, I'm sure I've

made every arrange-
ment right. [ve packed
the proper garments,
just the right number of
each. Nothing could
possibly go wrong,
could it?

Then, why is it that...

- I don't pack a raincoat
and the Spanish Riviera gets
nine days of rain?

- I pack a raincoat and the
temperature never drops
below 90°?

~ If I wear white slacks, I
get the seat on the bus stuck
with a great wad of bub-
blegum?

- If . I've got two
guidebooks, the one I need
will be in North Vancouver?

- If I skip breakfast, the
only lunch stop will serve
stale tacos presented by a
guy with black fingernails?

- If I forget to buy film, it
will be $20 a roll?

- If I don’t buy the $20
roll, [li miss a picture of
Brian riding a camel?

- The one day I get a
chance to ride a camel, it
will be the one day I wore a
skirt?

- If Brian talks me into a
holiday I don’t fancy, Ill
have a marvellous time BUT
if I do the same for him, he'll
be miserable?

It seems to me that. . .

- If a tour group is stuck
with ten great rooms and
three scrungy ones, guess
what?

- The only time nailpolish
leaks is when it can reach
your best dress.

- The times I don’t bring
enough Cigarettes from
Canada, there is a strike of
suppliers. Don't think [I'm
making this up — it’s hap-
pened twice, in Genoa and

FIRST AID TIP

trom

STROKE

@ the signs of a stroke difter depend
ng on which part of the brain
attected Numbness of parsiysis of
the face or extremities confusion oF
Wheseness Convulstons and Gecreased
leveis of CONMIOUSNESS are COMmmOonN
signs @ Soek medical aid at once @
for the casualty in a semi-rectining
posipan © Loosen clothing, apply
toot cloths to torehead and tace
@ (awe Nothing by mouth © Maintain
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reapeation do newessary @ Roeassure
the casualty and handle ban gently
and ONty when noasary © Protect
paralyzed tats

FREE ESTIMATES

travel-

by Barbara
McCreadie

in Buenos Aires.

- If I don’t pack a good
book in my parse, the airline
has cither Sports Mustrated
or Business Week. Nothing
else.

- The heel of my shoe
always breaks half-way
through a walking tour of the
Casbah.

- The air conditioning
breaks down on OUR bus.
The other six are just fine.

- You have to be im
Palermo at noon. At nine
a.m. every railraod man in
Italy walks off the job.

- If I pack one cocktail

- Souvenirs look ugly at
home.

- If I tip too much, Brian
gives me hell. If he has the
tip moncy, all ['ve got is a big

all.

cs

- If there’s one stray cat in
Spain, it will settle on our
patio. It will call me “Mom”.
It will purr loudly. And
Brian won't let me bring it
home.

It never fails!
- If fm travelling alone,

- If I break the. rules and
eat a green salad, Fl get the
“Two-step”.

- I worry myself sick over
the kids. When I get back,
they'll say, “Back already?”

- The day before
departure, one of the kids’
teacher calls to say, “I'm
extremely concerned about
your daughter's progress in
Math.”

- If Fve made arrange-
ments to have the house
“sat”, the sitter will come
down with “infectuoso” the
morning of our

- If I pack all the tickets in
my purse, FH check
everything twelve times
before I reach the

- If Brian has the tickets,
or the money, or the
passports, he'll shove them
in a back pocket and con-
sider everything safe.

And, if my reports from
Single travellers are right,

- If you've booked a tour
to Colombia, you'll be with
the half of the group that
goes to “point A” first. All
the other singles will be with
“Group B”.

- If you pay single sup-

‘SPECIALS

trom $24Q por person

DAILY DEPARTURES

10 NIGHTS — WAIKIKI

$49

00 Per Person,
Double Occupancy

OCT. 28 TO NOV. 07, 1982.
(includes WARDAIR flights ptus first class hotel)

CALL US FOR DETAILS 986-1377

UVGLOBE)

Venture Travel

110 14 ST. EAST
NORTH VAN

Each office independently owned and operated

tren titetroe

SEAMLESS
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plement, there will be five
other women who you would
enjoy rooming with. If you
ask for a “room-mate”, she'll
be a walking disaster.

- If the cruise has 75
gorgeous single men, you'll
get strep throat. Or they'll
use this cruise to entertain
the Miss America con-
testants.

- If you choose the tour of
a hfetime and enjoy it
thoroughly, your office
manager will remark, “Oh
yes. Guhuwayo Island. Elsie
and I went there two years
ago. Awful place.”

- The office will start
considering staff cuts two
days before your cruise.

- If you met the woman of
your dreams, she'll have a
husband and four kids. All
travelling with her.

WAIKIKI
A

WAIKIKI $499
14 Gays. 13 Nights
Air & Hoted

LAS VEGAS $249

5 Days. 4 Nights Ai & Hote!

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TORONTO == *249
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Shop around and convince e yourself

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C7 - Sunday, September 19, 1982 - North Shore News

- If you meet Canada’s
answer to the Creature From
the Black Lagoon, you'll be
three sheets to the wind and
won't nofice until morning.

- And, the girl you have
promoted for three years
suddenly finds you ap-
pealing, two days before
your departure.

Murphy had a law. All
travellers know it well, and
have added to it over the
years. “If it can go wrong, it
will. And if it can't possibly
gO wrong, it still will. And if
it’s going to happen to
anyone, you'll be the one.’
There's only one way to cope
— laugh!

ters.

Preparing
fora a trip?

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844 Park Royal North, West Van

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