30 — North Shore News - Friday, June 16, 2000 Famill Rev. Philip C. Wheaton Contributing Columnist A study released in 1999 by Statistics Canada, the National Longitudinal Survey of Children and Youth, lends to its readers some interesting insights about the role of parents in the lives of children and youth. The main findings of the study confirm something believed by many for generations: children benefit more from good par- ents than from family income. The survey of 23,000 children and families also found that _, the most important factor in the development of a child, with respect to school and behavioural performance, is parenting Reform MP Eric Lowther, Opposition critic for Children ‘and Families, comments in response to the study that, “After :,30 years of unmerited criticism, social science is now begi inning, | to accept and even prove that families are good for children.” The news from the study is not a toral “good news pack- - - age” for. children and families. It would appear that children ~. from sin arent families, regardless cf income, were almost “twice as i keh to exhibit behavioural problems such as aggrcs- “sion, feboni hits or depression than their two parent pecrs. The.study further noted that children who live in poorer fimniltes tend t to struggle more with health and behaviour prob- lems. - , Single parent families are not alone in this struggic, howev- r. The children of two-parent families, where the parent was consid d hostile‘ or ineffective, were five times more apt to |. have. persistent behavioural problems. While these families were representative of only ; 5% of the study, i it sull remains atrou-.. * ingly big phenomenon, Parenting ‘style m matters and it. matters on heck ofa lot,” chief. Statistician Ivan Fellegi “Childiare aad ge i * gapropriate teaching for: children‘birth t¢ Gr. S matier m The desire of every parent is to sce their progeny become responsible, independent, constructive and thoughtful. Th Stats Can study draws a clear picture as to how this process is fulfilled and accomplished. Parents are compelled co be in positive, affirming, and disci- plined relationships to their children understanding the impact of years of modelling. If our children are indeed mirror images of us, what we sce in them can be cither an exercise in self esteem or frustration. ‘Dr. Dave Hepburn writes, “The missing moral compass in some kids lives is apparent as one teen revealed to me: “The sum of the counsel my dad ever gave to me was to score a goal, wear a condom and don’t pick up hitchhikers.” There is no effort to teach kids the importance of living principled-based lives, whatever those principles ma: > The message for North Shore fa a number of points: 1) The pressure to perform and accomplish will lead to familial breakdown and personal defeat, if left unevaluated and unchecked. The passions of our era may cause us to lose our most basic sense of priority and therefore our greatest carthly fulfilment. Career is not our raison d’etre, our children are. Jesus said, “What will a man gain if ke gains the whole world yet loses his soul?” In the same way, this dynamic applies to our family relationships. 2) Principled living — the basis of all faith expressions — is the key to our children’s health and personal development. ‘can be summed up in When we as parents — and as a society — model principles that are balanced and not self secking, we encourage our children to evaluate their lives accordingly. Only through that perspective will they be equipped to eschew immediate gratification and _- find the truth that sets one free. Jesus said, “I have come that you may have abundant life.” I believe that invitation is to live with real Prioritics in mind, which will allow one to know freedom, healing and peace Think about how you live and the impact that has on y dren. — Rev. Philip C. Wheaton is the Pastor of F Christian . Education and Youth Ministry at the North Shore's St. Andrew’s and St. Stephen's Presbyterian churches. For COMPLEMENTARY & INSTITUTE ALTERNATIVE MEDICENE TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR. HEALTH Find a new of being well way Physically, Mentally, Emotionelly vane Spi 875-4769 £1 Gi Gong with Dr. Steven Aung June 23-25 Register - 875-4218 767 W. 12TH AVE at chil- : iahay Fall Gospel Gharchc NO Ben i - North Vancouver, B.C. Ph. 880-0307. .- CHRISTIAN SCI "9 CHURCHE ; Morning Worship 10am Oh yes, child care is always oh on n: Sunday. mo!