DEAR MISS MANNERS — EE am confused by the variations } have seen in the use of service plates. At Jovely dinners in the homes of friends and in fine restaurants, the person serving the meal seems to have discretion about) which courses are served atop the service plates, und when the plates sre placed on the table, and when they are removed from the table. GENTLE READER —-. Technically speaking. all forms of service are at the discretion of those serving the meal, but obser- ving what they do would generally be a poor guide (o propriety. Pay no atieniion to this un- pleasant outburst, for which Miss Manners apologizes. I1 really has nothing to do with you and your friends or the restaurants you patronize; they are obviously making an effort, or they wouldn't be using service plates, which are a refined, but not obligatory, addition to the table. Miss Manners is just tired of mealtime sloppiness in the name of choice. But of course there are rules: The service plate, also called a place plate, which can be made of china or metal such as silver, is properly in place when the diners come io the table. The napkin may be centred on it, with a place card centred on that, in which case the diner {not the server!) removes the napkin for use and puts the place card aside. One does not eat from the ser- vice plate directly. Soup plates, with or without undertiners, are placed on the service plate; soup cups, used for luncheon, require underliners even when a service plate is used. Plates of oysters or clans are also pur on top of the service DOC NIOR eaness 5S i SOONERS RES * Tapes play ™ right in your VER . 4 Available ot your North Shore entertainment centre iostassnitsitcesetitrarat iota tea Tis S ere ttireeivit tert it. tit tet ett nowadays © 54 — Wednesday. October 21, 1992 - North Shore News yn MISS MANNER plate. No, no, not while the soup is suill there. But you knew that. The service plate is then remov- ed, so that a plate for the fish or meat course may be substituied. This is done by having the server stand behind the diner, leaning to the right to remove the service plate from that side, and then to the left to slip in the fresh plate immediately. This tricky manoeuvre, which makes the hair stand up at the back of a self-conscious diner’s neck while it is performed, is done because at no time during 4 pro- per dinner, until just before dessert service, should the place in tront of the diner be empty. Therefore, if no service plate is used. the actual dinner plate takes its place, with the difference that it is simply left there to be used for food when the cariy courses are finished. As Miss Manners has mentioned that a service plate could be made of china, you may well ask what the difference is between such a plate used as a service piate and +a ner mt re a rr Yop Sen re tripe ery ene < ates tisccntcotsapsitecctsernerttiretiirasterh, LIFESTYLES Mealtime sloppiness in the name of choice the plate thats used for che main course, Well, it could fase a diffe er, more cliborate pattern. Gur trank- ly there needn't be any ditvere: You would dust need many of then. DEAR MISS MANNERS — My daughter and lier fiancee bave ehosen avers small phice for their wedding ceception. As ou result, the guest list: has been paintutls cut and there will be hurt feelings on both sides of the family as well as among friends. Would it) be impolite or presumptuous fo send letters to those who will not be invited, in orders to enplain the cir- cumstances? Or would it he best left unmentioned, letiing them wonder why they weren't invited, and not addressing the situation at all? EMAC ats THERE Dealing vith teiepnone answer- 2 Can bE a mayor OY MQ Mach: ation, Thats why were pitasea to present an alternative that Yotry ,cur pacence, Us called TANG ts bea Voce servce from BC TEL Mahe Me ap So mochiaresry tO break oo. MUST BE ra GENTLE READER — What is the lender going to say? ‘We had to choose between having the Wedding ina charming fitile place without vou, and up an ordinary Bhice with vou. and we decided the heek with sour hurt feclings ce THe tecation Was miare dnpar- tant tous thin sequr presence’? Miss Mianners is atraid that it is mapossipnte to escape the realiza- Gon that such was the reasoning thar led te sour decision. But she would pot attempt ta explain this to the excluded cuests, if she were you, Rather, you might throw 2 par- ty for the bridal couple upon their return trom their wedding trip, and insite thus: people to what you can sult cal. a wedding recep- tion. DEAR When 7 MISS MANNERS — was iavited to a 90th- A BETTER confidential, indiwidual password, Your calls ure answered with Our personalized message around scan record the: ip anhout waiting through munules of previous messages. US HaSy fO revieve your mMes- rom: any Touch birthday picnic, | was told em- phatically, ‘No pifts — onby cards.’ bo obeyed —— and was the only one who arrived with only a curd, The gifts were opened with great fanfare, as FE shrank with embarcassment. In the past, I have cither been the only one with a gift or the only one without, But always the gifts were quietly put aside untit later. Can yeu salve this problem? GENTLE READER — Only by stamping out this “No gift’ in- structions once and for all. Miss Manners keeps pointing out that in addition to being meaningless — us your experience and that of many others shows — it is rude. But to issue such an instruction and then to make a production of Opening presents is the worst of both worlds, ANSWER. io find out if Cari Answers avail- f2un your area, OF to order, Call 81-2323 today. Or visit pour nearest BC TEL PhoneMart. Once Ans wee are laid on ine Lible, we thunk the advantages of Call youll agree: the best answering Inuchuneg os AO mechani at all you are already on the line.