easure of progress WE ARE definitely into a _ new era in relationships between mea and women in Canada, a very far ery from the world of the 1950s when a customer could squeeze my 1: ‘ther’s breast when she was waiting on him and get away with # slap on the hand. Today he would be thrown out ut the very least, more than likely arrested and jailed and brought to trial, Likewise, if he tried to run away to another province to avoid alimu- ny payments, like my father did. he'd be tracked down and forced to pay, jailed, in the eng, if he didn't. As for divorces, the woman was lucky to get away with a pittance back then, even if she had kids to raise, My mother did relatively well, I suppose. She got the house. Too bud hardly any payments had been made. Alone, she had to shoulder the mortgage, feed and clothe herself; and two growing boys, etc.: : '. Asad story, but a familiar one. .: My father was not, by any stretch, the only such low-life worm around. . Unhappy in your marriage? Not taking to responsibility too well? - Nostalgic? Bored? The wife nags you about drinking ? wo . "why not head off to, Saskatchewan or ; Alberta and start over ‘ again with Poopsy? I can always find ~ excuses for my father’s ‘behavior, can’t help it, but the bot- ¢ - tom line was that he abandoned his wife and smail sons and got away with it legally. . . + *He died early, younger than lam - - now, a haunted man, but that was ‘no thanks to the law. ; i ‘[Tsee'my own oldest son going .: through a divorce today, and it is a : different legal environment entirely, “scarcely recognizable. 3 Ditto for my brother, who has - been through it twice and still has -high mountains to climb to ever - hope to recover financially. ~The fact is, though, while I sym- pathize entirely with the modern male facing divorce, I'm glad for “my daughters that things have - changed so much, and, yes, even glad (smile, Bob) for my wives, for- ‘mer, preserit and, just theoretically " of course, future. ‘I feel this way simply because I " saw What my mother went through, - and therefore have had the woman’s side of it etched in:my emotions. ‘Men who cut and run on their families, generally speaking, should be treated as scum. Certainly there are families where the wives and children abuse the old man (1 have seen this with BANae . Japanese ' Language Programs January 17 (10 weeks) Canadian: i jinternational Coilege 929-1544 ob Hunter STRICTLY PERSONAL my own eyes) and it’s clear the poor devil needs to escape, but no matter what his problem, he’s acquired a loud he can't just put down without paying. By saying this, I am risking get- ting punched on the nose in a bar one of these days by some poor bas- tard who's just been through the divorce mill, and skinned alive in 66 Any system in which mere mortals get to play god is going to be flawed...99 "the process. The number of horror stories I hear from miserable males who _ have been taken to the cleaners by a vengeful ex-spouse is still rising. But for every one of those horror stories, female friends can tell me ’ .an equally appalling tale about something that happened to a woman they know. And, of course, the stats say anything you want them to. My guess is that some sort of “rough judicial balance is being ‘reached. It is, at best, very rough justice that we Canadians experi- ence, indeed. The prime minister and his cabi- net can violate the Constitution and walk away with pensions and direc- torships, while some poor guy who happened to be in the wrong place ut the wrong time and was ain bndians or looked like a hippie gets life. Rich people don't go to jail as often as poor people The penalties for some major crimes like murder and drunk dei- ving are absurdly low, while the penalties for other crimes, like tok- ing onan herb, are grotesquely high. Abortions are leg stticide is a crime. Cleareutting is perfectly legiti- mate, but blocking a logging road is punishable by months in jail. Somebody can break into your house and if you injure him, you are liable to be charged with assault. A woman can take part in the torture and murder of two children and waltz, away with a 12-year sen- tence just by finking. 1 mention these examples by way of reminding the just-divorced guy about to punch me in the nose that, in the real world, the law is a clumsy instrument at best, because it relies on fallible popes on a bench. Any system in which mere mor- tals get to play god is going to be flawed, and ours, which purports to be tule of law, is still just really rule by lawyers. That's the ugly truth. Still, the lawyers are doing a better job of protecting women and children today than they were doing in the post-war years, and that is due mainly to the efforts of women themselves, with a few male sympathizers lurk- ing in the background. i’m sure there’s any way of measuring whether we have a much happier world now than we had in the 1950s. Obviously, there are more Canadians hungry now than then, al but assisted . but there are also more parents who can afford to worry about designer toys for their kids. Nevertheless, while we may not be any happier now in our mar- riages and sexual relationships than we used to be, or happier with the law, for that matter, we are definite- ly more equal. And that’s a measure of progress, however rough, Oh yes, despite everything, we are still advancing. I guess that makes me an optimist? Includes solid pine sofa bed frame, triple foam core futon, Scotchguarded futon cover, pillows and pillow covers. FACTORY FUTON Open 1 1-6pm daily Parking In rear While quantities last. 259 E. fst St, N. Van. 984-4504). ARDAGH HUNTER TURNER Barristers & Solicitors Personal AFTER HOURS Criminal Matters Only 926-3 FREE INITIAL CONSULTATION ie 986-4366 FAX 986-9286 #300-1401 LONSDALE, NORTH VANCOUVER, BC. Sunday, December 12, 1993 ~ North Shore News - 7 NEED A BODY SHOP? 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