44 - Wednesday, November 1, 1989 - North Shore News

LIFESTYLES

Couple won't give up
respective lifestyles

Q. 1 AM in my fate 60s, my
lady is in her mid 70s. The
age difference is of no im-
portance, but our lifestyles
come between us.

She is happy on a ranch two
states away; I like living in a city
where I have lived for 20 years and
have activities, associations, a few
friends. She is warm and hospit-
able; | am more introverted and
solitude-seeking.

Her children know about our
friendship, mine do not. I can't
ask her to leave her country life,
and E don’t want to leave my ur-
ban one. We are both comfortably
well-off. How do we arrange our
future? No one has ever made me
as happy as she does, and my
company seems to be very pleasing
to her.

A. What's the rush to settle
down in one place or the other? If
you are well enough fixed for in-
come, you can spend time with
each other now in her place, now

Dr. Ruth
Dr. Ruth Westheimer
EEE

in yours. That sounds sensible, but
something keeps the two of you
from adopting this simple plan, or
rather letting yourselves drift into
it.

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It would seem that you have
preoccupations connected with
your places of residence. You
mean so much to each other, but
not enough to give up your inter-
ests. In fact, your interests are
mere interesting to you than your
affection for each other. This is no
crime. It is a good thing to have a
life you like living, concerns that
keep you occupied. You are not
ready to accept living out on her
tanch, but maybe in a while it will
seem a pleasant life and your city
preoccupations may not seem so
important. Or the pleasures of liv-
ing in town may captivate her.
Why not go along as you are for a
while, and find out what happens?

Q. My husband has begun tell-
ing me that we should be sexually
non-exclusive. What should I say
to this?

A. With the least posible delay
in replying, you should say no.
Now, you have asked me and that

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