Friday, December 31, 1993 - North Shore News - 7

dren must be valued

The work of raising ci

1 COME from a family of optimists. My father, who is
writing his memoirs, is thinking of calling them On the
Sunny Side of the Street, That about sums up the general

aititude in the Atyeo clan.

Being an optimist has its ad-
vantages and disadvantages.

The advantages include getting
over failed romances relatively
easily and enduring belief that
your personal finances are bound
to take a turn for the better next
month,

The disadvantages include
becoming completely rattled when
you run into 2 pessimist.

One scene in particular comes to
mind,

I’m standing in a supermarket
lineup with two small children. A
senior citizen in the lineup com-
ments on how cute they are, then
adds: ‘I sure wouldn't want to
bring up kids in this day and
age.”

The remark lies like a giant
rotten tomato in front of me and

_V'm left wondering what {’m sup-
posed to do with it.
\. Does this depressing view of the
Jate 20th century have some
validity? At the ed of a year that

_. featured the most horrible crimi-
nal act imaginable — the murder
of two-yeur-old Jamie Bulger in

Liverpool — I've certainly had my |

confidence shaken.

~ Not a week goes by that I don’t
think of Jamie Bulger, and what
could have made 10-year-old boys
capable of smashing the life out of
a toddler.

At the end of the year, after
reading umpteen theories as to
how two boys tured from mean

to murderous, 1am teft with just
one overriding certainty: at some
profound level, those boys were
alienated from love and kindness.

It’s easy to sit back and pro-
nounce that crumbling Liverpool,
where children follow their parents
into a life of unemployment, is
fertile ground for producing kids
deprived of love and kindness.

But are we, living in one of the
most beautiful and prosperous
corners of the world, so different?

. After all, we live in a metropolis
where recently a grandmother
hired a hit man to (successfully)
take out her estranged daughter-
in-law. :

if tm concerned about bringing,
up kids in this day and age, it’s

t

TANLBOX

Nature is hurt
by development
Dear Editor: -

Your paper's article, “Trees ter-

rorize residents,” was quite bizarre.
It is more likely that the new

subdivision caused the death of

aumerous trees and this clearcutting
has resulted in excessive blow-
down as supporting trees have becn
removed,

Perhaps “Revenge of the trees”
would have been more accurate.

+ OF course all semblance of nat-
ural vegetation should have been
removed and “vegetation suitable
for a community neighborhood”
installed. .

This reminds me of a local com-
munity meeting where some low
shrubs .were removed because they
were dangerous to children who
were going into them.

The idea of keeping an eye on
the children ‘and letting them

explore their natural environment :

was foreign.

The clinical manicured lawns
and occasional nursery shrubs are :

what is wanted.
Glenys M. Stuart
North Vancouver

Catherine

JUST ADD WATER

because I see us increasingly
building lives that isolate us.

We over-program ourselves to
the point where we barely have
time to spend an hour talking to a
friend who might need us.

We believe all this activity will
make us happy, when it usually
just wears us out and leaves us
feeling empty.

From the very beginning of
their lives, we make choices, or
the system forces us, {o alienate
our children.

reg. price

Mee te ne Pe Bee a Mt Prt ce A dl ential emcee Snares a hyenas anemone manent maine pe alent bene

Qur society does the minimum
to support breastfeeding; one of
the most fundamental and healthy
parts of the mother-child reta-
tionship.

We devalue the very real work
of staying home and raising
children, setting up a premature
separation of parents and
children.

We let developers put up vast
malls that further the destruction
of any sense of community and
make us even more dependent on
cars, Which just make us more
mean-spirited and further
alienated.

We do little to expose our
children to any sort of spiritual
life which could begin to fill the |,
vacuuin.

You might be wondering how,
with these opinions, f can call
myself an optimist. The simpte
answer is that | believe we can all
do something to break (he pattern,

When I look back on 1993, one
of the most successful years of my
adult life, [ realize it was filled to
the brim with activity,

The result? | was so drugged
out E always managed to pick up
the virus-of-the-month.

More important, another year
went by and | realize I'm still
yeaming — yes, yearning — to sit
down and just rep with @ par-
ticular friend or family member,

Just before Christmas, it lifted
my spirits when a good friend told
me she was organizing some other

singers to go carolling around the
neighborhood. It seemed almost
revolutionary in this age of
Christmas-at-the-mall.

People walking and singing
uirough the streets, trying to reach
out to other peeple in a spirit of
goodwill.

So enthusiastic was the response
to this modest musical offering
that people were chasing singers
along the sidewalk, entreating
them to come sing at their house.

One enthusiastic listener invited
the carollers into her home so they
could sing around the piano and
enjoy a glass of sherry.

Given half a chance, we can
reach out to each other. {t's just
that having it alt has made us first
afraid, and then forgetful of how

to do it.

Perhaps it’s not so surprising
that the milk of human kindness is
sometimes more evident in Bosnia,
Calcutta and Liverpool.

When I get discouraged in 1994,
Vil try to remember an individual
I met this year.

This man blew me away with
the love and faith he had in his
fellow humans. He is the absolute
opposite of ‘‘jaded."

He can break through the
cynicism of the most alienated
teenager. He believes with all his
heart in the inherent goodness in
each one of us.

He happens to be an Anglican
minister. And he has been called
to serve in Liverpool,

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