No doubt about it,
it’s a funny old world

“IT’S BEEN a funny old
year,'’ said Margaret That-
cher as she was dumped in-
to the political ditch. True
enough. But the Gulf War
has made this year even
funnier, in a manner of
speaking.

Whai could be funnier than
Gorby denouncing Saddam Hus-
sein for noi getting out of Kuwait
while he, Gorby, refuses to get
out of Lithuania and the other
Baltic states?

What could be funnier than
George Bush denouncing Iraq for
grabbing Kuwait — when just a
year ago he not only grabbed
Panama but took its leader of f to
the U.S. in handcuffs to stand
trial?

What could be funnier than the
U.S. and the U.K. kissing the
backside of Hafiz Al-Asaad, the
Syrian dictator who until only

- yesterday was seen as a killer, a
son of a bitch, and an enemy of
the people?

Or Canada’s sending troops to
the Middle East to ‘‘protect dem-
ocratic values’? when all we did
after the comrades marched into
Afghanistan was to say their
ballerinas weren’t welcome here?

Or the pip-squeak Liberal,
Gordon Wilson, aka Mighty
Mouse, bleating: ‘‘Mr. Bush,
come to your senses, man!”’

Another funny old thing is that
Kuwait was invented by the Brit-
ish, and that until the early 1970s
the U.K. had garrisons ia the
Gulf. Who wanted them out? The
same Americans who now want
them in.

Don’t mistake my meaning.
Opening fire on Saddam was the
right card to play. And while we
haven’t gone to war for
“‘democracy”’ or any of the
abstractions mouthed by politi-
cians, it is a fact that Saddam is

Doug
Collins

ON THE OTHER HAND

about as bad a lad as history has
seen.

He has used gas and chemicals
against his own people, and his
idea of a joke is to drape the
balconies of the presidential pal-
ace with the bodies of his political
opponents.

So I’m not with the wets who
weep over the war. It’s just that
the contradictions are enough to
make a cat laugh.

We have the most powerful
country in the world going on
bended knee to implore its client
state, Israel, not to muck things
up.

When a few missiles hit Israel,
end-of-the-world headlines appear,
and we have Brian Baloney put-
ting on his bishop’s voice and
phoning Jewish groups to say how
sorry he is about ‘‘this unprovok-
ed attack.’’

But eight years ago, no one
phoned the Arabs to say how
sorry they were about Israel’s un-
provoked attack on Iraq’s auclear
plant.

Question stemming from
Baloney’s message: are Canadian
Jews Canadians or Israelis?

To confuse things still further,

we have Arabs fighting Arabs.

We have lunatics singing John
Lennon’s silly ditty Give Peace A
Chance — when peace was given 2
chance for five months after Sad-
dam grabbed Kuwait.

We have my favorite funny pol-
itician, Svend Rebinson, piping up
with, ‘‘We won't fight a war for
the American way of life.’’ What
does he mean by ‘‘we’’, though?
Who could imagine Svend the
daffodil sniffer lugging a gun
anyyay?

We have fools telling the world
it was wrong for our side to fire
first, when it was Saddam who
fired first.

Other fools whine, ‘‘Hell no,
we won't go for Texaco."’ Weli,
Doug the Dictator would offer
them conscription or the prospect
of never driving a car again. Con-
scription would be better, of
course.

We have the Morning Wimp’s
editorial hand-wringing.

Television has much to answer
for in all this. It turned the world
into a theatre, and there is no lack
of actors.

All is entertainment. All is spec-
tacle. The silly old Raging Gran-
nies kick their legs in‘ the air. In-
fants, brainwashed by their social-
ist teachers, pour out of school on
cue to protest for the cameras.

Teenagers impart their wisdom
to a gaping world. A 17-year-old
girl tells us we have for, otten that
“wars kill people.”’

Have we? Do they? Sing your
song to Saddam, sweetheart.

Something else: war is hell and
no cause for rejoicing. But why
this endless a-sighin’-and-a-
sobbin’ by those leaving and those
staying? In other days men went
to war quietly and women shed a
tear privately. Now, the cameras
demand that the participants ham
it up.

It’s a funny old year. And a

funny old world.
-

West Van to close up street ends

WEST VANCOUVER District Council members ap-
plauded Monday night the ‘‘stopping up’’

closure of three street ends.

“] strongly approve of this kind of bylaw because
and_ it agrees with ihe policy of council in the past of try-
ing to open up street ends for public access to the

The foot of 15th Street, 16th Street and South Ox- waterfront,” said Ald. Diana Hutchinson.

ley Street will eventually be dedicated as park follow-

ing the move.

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Ald. Pat Boname said that the street-end parks of
West Vancouver were like ‘‘pearls on a necklace.’’

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Wednesday, January 23, 1991 ~ North Shore News ~ 9
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An Outstanding Honour
for Our Outstanding Citizens

Do you know a British Columbian
who has demonstrated outstanding achievement,
excellence or distinction in any field of endeavour
benefiting the people of the Province or elsewhere?
Here’s your opportunity to do something about it.
You can nominate that person to the
Order of British Columbia,
an honour established by the Provincia] Government
to recognize such men and women.
Nominations will be considered by an
Advisory Council.
Honorary Chairperson is the Lieutenant-Governor
of British Columbia.
How to nominate someone.
Simply write for a brochure and nomination form to:

ORDER
OF
BRITISH
COLUMBIA

Honours and Awards Secretariat
c/o Deputy Provincial Secretary
Parliament Buildings
Victoria, British Columbia V8V 1X4

or contact your nearest Government Agent's Office.
Nominatioa deadline: March 22, 1991

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