wm we 42 - Wednesday, May 29, 1985 - North Shore News Play time can THE PRIMARY job of children is to grow ~ healthy and strong, independent and confident. And the three basic ways they do it is by eating, sleeping and playing. «Hf a child doesn’t eat or sleep well parents worry. child’’ who sits around ‘and doesn't seem interested in playing can be cause for con- cern, too. “That can be a sign of trouble, a warning signal that the child is feeling insecure, withdrawn and possibly in a depression,’’ says Asad Qureshi, a play therapist for the North Vancouver Health Unit. Qureshi, a clinical child psychologist trained in Pakistan and Germany, has been a resident play therapist for the North Vancouver Health Unit since 1969, ‘') have seen a lot of kids grow up on the North Shore,’’ Qureshi comments. He has treated many kids who have turned out okay, S . but others as he said have not been so fortunate. Because play closely resembles real life, it can pro- vide the key to unlocking a lot of anxieties in children. Through play a child can learn about success and failure; how to cope with it, how to use it to build character and self-respect. Much of play in the early years centres on learning about a child's own body and his environment. Exploring, experimenting and storing such wonderful data as a ball bounces when thrown, but a giass breaks and mommy doesn’t like that. . “It is important for parents to realize a child’s play is their work and when they provide the right -en- vironment, they are pro- However, the ‘nice’ quiet Floral air arrangements for every occasion! The gift that lasts for months 991. Marine Drive § North Vancouver 87 ve christooner ron: CHILDREN’S FASHIONS AND GIFTS VANCOUVER CENTRE MALL GEORGIA AND GRANVILLE PH: 687-1781 be good therapy viding the tools for that play," says Pat Gallaher of B.C. Playthings, who was a one-time preschool teacher and has three daughters of his own. Qureshi believes that play is as healthy for kids as dreaming is for adults. And according to him, pretend play is one of the most valuable forms of children’s play. Tatking, painting, sing- ing, block-building are limited to usually one form of expression, but with pre- tend play, or role-play, a child can throw his whole self into it, If you ever watched children play, as Qureshi has done for the past 15 years, you will have discovered that play can be an emotional release. Angie and Sarah have lined up chairs and are taking a make-believe train trip with their dolls. Both have en- joyed this experience in real life. This time, they are the responsible mothers ‘taking care of their ‘‘children”’, But what about the youngsters . who insist on beating their children, punishing their pupils, operating on their tummies and shooting each other? Pretend play is one of the best ways to understanding what the child is going through. Often children feel deeply hidden fears, frustra- tions and guilts, and some feelings seem to threaten the basic relationship of love and protection that-children need. — at Play therapist Qureshi says, ‘‘In role playing, they can safely Iet it all out, My place is to give them feedback on what they are trying to say." Gallaher has observed that many success-oriented parents are pushing their kids, even at infancy, to learn numbers, objects, letters us- ing flashcards and other methods. But what many parents don’t realize is such © games as peck-a-boo, riding piggyback and foliow-the- leader contribute to a child’s social skills. As Gallaher says, ‘‘!f it’s WF fun, it (learning) is going to happen anyway.” From a clinical psychologist viewpoint, Qureschi agrees, and believes in some cases pressuring a child may cause anxicty and an_ unwillingness to learn. ‘‘Kids should be allowed to be kids, at least for a while.” For play to be worthwhile, says Pat Gallaher, a child must be a part of it, which eliminates a lot of toys in- cluding wind-ups and battery operated toys. ‘*They make a child a spec- tator, not a participant.” EFFECTIVE PARENTING Learning to be a parent TAKE TWO parents and eventually you have a conversation about children. Take a group of parents and what happens could be called ‘‘parent effectiveness training. Just as modern parents are throwing themselves into succeeding at the workplace, many new mothers and fa- . thers are anxious to prepare SUMMER FOOTWEAR’ T-STRAP . 7 CP nas SANDALS PLAIN OR themselves as fully as they can in their new roles as parents. But do these new parents need guidance on how to raise their children? Yes, says Brenda Greenberg, education program co-or- dinator for North Shore Family Services. : Many contemporary parents, because of today’s mobile society, do not have See Course page 43 $ White, Pink, Tan, Light Blue, Kiddie Kobbler cniaren's snoes | 2027 Park Royal South VANCOUVER'S ORIGINAL CHILDREN’S SHOE FITTING SPECIALIST—SINCE 1946 —