4 ~ Friday, July 23, 1993 ~ North Shore News ent village or 1 READ the condo ads with a horrible sense of impending doom. - Well, not just the condo (or townhouse, or ‘‘retirement village,” etc.) ads. Also the cruise ads, at least the ones offering 35 gourmandizing days at sea, including five meals a day, cheap drinks (no tax), and Las Vegas-type shows every night. I know those ads generate a lot of revenue for the newspapers — and our competitors for ad dollars, the electronic media. So | have every self-interest that they keep right on rolling. But, personally, they have the exact opposite effect on me than they’re supposad to. ‘They glamorize retizement. ’’ They make being a ‘‘senior’’ or a “retiree”? — people stopped be- ing merely ‘‘old’”’ eons ago, measured in ad-years — sound wonderful. : ‘Possibly “seniors’’ need to have their spirits bucked up this way. I don’t know. Even more, they — and the growing ‘‘seniors industry” that plays to them — may need to have the image of being enviable. ; Typically, an ad for a retire- ment development says something like: : * “Pool. Sauna. Recreation ; room. Workout room. Play golf oe GARDEN OF BIASES _ we’re right on the 14th green! Pley bridge. Meet new friends. And no grass to cut! Prices start from...” ; Gee. I can hardly wait. You mean IJ can play golf twice a day, even though I last picked up a golf club in 1946 left in the grass near a rehabilitation centre ' for wounded RCAF veterans across from the mental hospital in Hamilton, Ontario? And I can bounce gingerly of f the bottom of one of those pools, at about the four-foot level, since I can’t really, really swim? . And I can play bridge with a 79-year-old woman partner with mauve hair and a set of clacking false teeth who tells me repeatedly how wonderful her late husband, an insurance adjuster, was? Thanks, but I'll pass. And J just don’t mean in the bridge game. Nor does the expectation of being functionless — which to me means jobless — make my heart _ go pit-a-pat either. And beyond that, but not so - many years beyond that, I’m not really clapping hands at ‘the pro- spect of rolling down to the games - room in my electric wheelchair for an afternoon singalong of such evergrecn favorites as It’s a Loag Way to Tipperary and Heart of My Heart and That Old Gang of Mine with the Sapperton Sunshine Troupe and, as a special treat, direct from his last appearance-at- the Pitt Meadows Legion Hall, the amazing Bowsvr the Talking Dog. Nor does the 35-day cruise, ' with stopovers in nine Caribbean ports for leisurely shopping and guided tours of the native mar- kets, electrify me with the frou- frou of excitement that is evi- dently experienced by so many obsessive cruise-takers - — quite English language still main tongue ENGLISH IS: the mother .tongue:for seven out of 10 residents’ cf the Greater . - Vancouver area. | Statistics prepared ‘by the ‘Greater. Vancouver - Regional . District’. and . Statistics Canada ‘show’ that English is the native language. for.72%° of the area’s population, followed: by Chinese \. gt- 8.2%,. Punjabi a 2.4% and _ German at 2.2%, | Iu absolute numbers, 1.2 million de * Exclusive Weber Flavorizer® System for * great outdoor taste ., Virtually without flare-ups. ; a) Convenient push- : :” button igniter. .® Legs fold up to lock cover in place for easy * -carrying and storage. « Heavy, bright nickel- -plated 160 ‘square inch cooking grill. e Uses disposable L.P. cylinders, or speak English” as their first lan- guage, 130,700 speak Chinese, 38,300. speak: Punjabi and 34,800 speak German. In. the: five-year period from 1986 to 1991, there was an 83.6% increase in Punjabi as the mother tongue, 2 71.6% increase. in Chinese anda 10.5% increase in ‘English. German declined 2. 1%. In 1991, for the first-time, cen- : sus figures included both perma- nent and non-permanent residents ‘of Canada. Twenty other languages - were also reported, ali.of them repre- senting 1% or less of the region’s population. .. They included French (1.3%), Atalian (1.1%), Tagalog (0.9%), © Spanish. (0.7%), Dutch (0.7%), Japanese (0.7%), Hindi (0.6%), Polish (0.5%), Vietnamese (0.5%), and Greek (0.3%). The figures are contained ina report . compiled by the GVRD Strategic Planning Department. ‘No other portabie like it! Great for camping, picnics, cottage or for those who want a really good small ” _ barbecue. "20,000 BTU. Big enough to cook 12 hamburgers. Convection oven desp; enough for 2 7 Ib. roast or turkey. Complete with hose for , 5, 10 or 20 Ib. propane tank. SALE $121” TABLE TOP GAS GRILL GAS AS GO- ANYWHERE It's great outdoors! | can ‘be adapted to refillable tanks. just apart from the fact that I hold the transatlantic record for seasickness in both directions (eastbound, on the Scythia; westbound, on the Queen Mary), set in 1954 and stil! unbroken. ‘There is another pvint. . Those ‘‘adult-oriented"’ condos ‘etc., and those long cruises, and indeed most of the short ones — they are, flatly, childless. ‘ Oh yes, parents of little ones, there are days when that sounds like heaven. I know. It will ‘astonish you to learn, if I haven’t bored you about this before, that I have three at home, ages 8, 444 and 3. _ This wiil further amaze you, when you look at the picture of the faded, crumbling old man accompanying this column. 1 can only blush and say that | - “ some of us have fantastic reproductive capabilities at a time’ of life when we should be clieck- ing our RRSPs, not snorting and chasing cur (much younger) wives around the bedroom, let alone - fields of new-mown hay. But I'l tell you. I'm not look- ing forward — as we are culturally encouraged to do — to the day when the chijdren are all washed, grown-up, and gone. If somehow the clock could be stopped right now, f wouldn't complain, Because, no matter what the leisure-pedlars say, with their im- ages of escape from worldly cares into the world of pink drinks by tie pool or on the upper,deck or the clubhouse patio, the; no- maintenance condos, and no- maintenance children for that matter, they having left the nest and the family home sold in ex- | ‘ change for that delightful condo with its uniform pastel colors und neutral carpet, and walls thin enough that you can hear false teeth clacking in the next suite... that, my friends, is whe real living death. For me, the golden years are. right now. I’m rich: And even cutting the grass doesn’t sound bad. - HAVE A SAY IN COMMUNITY SERVICES! » ) The City will be revising existing, z and developing new utility bylaws, | for water, sanitary sewage, solid waste and storm drainage. We'd like” your input on User Pay Concepts and Policies at a Policy Committee . Meeting scheduled for MONDAY, JULY 26, 1993 AT 7:30 p.m. in the : i Council Chamber, 141 West 14th Street.” Council Invites Your Input on n the Following Five Policies: j ; Conservation and protection: of the environment are to be ; encouraged. To promote: these principles, users have to.” know how much a service costs them, and how ‘that cost can vary, depending on the amount they use. r . . User rates ; should be considered when either the benefit . from the municipal service received is not universal; ‘or when one wants to restrict tthe use’ of that service. aan . Recycling. and garbage collection are interrelated and i a terdependent. No action should be taken on‘one before: : considering the impact of the other..." : a . Raie Policies should be established to promote conserva : tion of resources and should reinforce demand mariage- ment principles. . Changes to fee structures should be introduéed,, so that users are given a prior opportunity or means to mitigate,” " the negative impacts of such a rate structure on them.’ *..; AGENDA Staff Presentation Representation from the Public, Discussion by Members of the Policy Committee on the Five Policies outlined above _ Recommendations from the Policy Committee ; pif you wish to maké a presentation to the Policy Commitee of Council: | on these policies on July 26, please contact the City Clerk at 141 West... 14th Street, North Vancouver, B.C. Telephone: 985-7761. - : | COUNCILLOR B.W. PERRAULT, CHAIR invites all interested per- , ! sons to attend the Policy Committee Meeting and to make comments on the above issue. us The City of North Vancouver She Heart of Your Gonmuntly: