STRICTLY PERSONAL

IT'S THE sign of the times.
“Pm not sure exactly what it--
“Means, but it strongly. sug-. -
Bests to me some kind of
chaos rumbling down the

road toward us. —_

”-Swas writing out the Christmas

; cards’this year, updating an old list

“I discovered a little’ ‘warp in the new.

. Plenty of peoplé I know have
broken up as couples, and realigned °
- themselves, sometimes ‘marrying, °
often not."

Quite a few other people I know

lave gotten y married, for the first

them,.1 guess. .
» There's ‘this modern po ey oe

ae

“with social sane But, ‘pray,
allow'asmall whimper.:.”
When I-get down to. addressing
Christmas card envelopes, I.can
n0-Jonger. just write “Mr. and Mrs. :

ve gotta ‘spell it right, even if.”

a haven’ t met ‘her yet. And some~" °

times the names get
hyphenated.

' Things are so
weird I’ve got a
daughter-in-law (tech-
nically, an ex-daugh-
ter-in-law) with the
same last name as me,
and a new daughter-
in-law whose last
name is different.

Each to their own,
of course. I can't see it myself. How

can it be a feminist statement of any
kind, since the “maiden” name is
invariably drawn from the father,
who got it from his father, etc.?

Even if the woman takes her
mother's maiden name, it’s the
same effect, i.e., they're saddled
with a male’s family identification.
if not your husband's, your father's.

I notice in Germany they’ ve
drawn a line at how many times you
-can hyphenate your name. You only

have to do it two generations in row
on both sides before it becomes
ludicrous,you know.

But this is just a passing obser- -
vation, the business about changing
names. A sign of the times, indeed.

Here’s another: me sitting at the
dining room table for two whole
precious days off, scribbling notes
in Christmas cards to old friends,
__Telatives ] haven’t seen in years,col-
leagues I haven’t touched bases
with in a dog's age.

Mysteriously , in the last few.
“months I have found myself making
-the odd phone call across the coun-
“try to beloved old. aunts I havén’t “”
“talked to in years, visiting an uncle’

-.,that I've neglected in hospital,

sending rather longish letters to old

* biiddies, trying to repair a few dam-

_ aged relationships, dropping notes
to friends scattered around the
world... le

Teven called a few cousins. °

1 assumed this was just me, hav-

: ing passed the Big Five-Oh a cov-

ple of seasons back, feeling some

-'sort of instinctive urge to reach ¢ out

: for my clan.: .
Hell, it would be part of matur-

Cut. & living Christmas trees. Wreaths,
oa & gat arlands. Unique gifts for the

66 In Germany they've drawn a line at
how many times you can hyphenate

your name. 99

ing, for all | know.

Whatever psychological spin
you want to put on it, feel free.

It’s not an unpleasant sensation,
writing Christmas cards. I have

‘ been thoroughly enjoying it. *

This is after many years of get-
ting all broody at Christmas. It’s
tied up in the strange desire to stay
in touch, or get back in touch.

So what has happened?

Is this a unique feeling, peculiar
to me.and me alone? Do I have the
dignity of just being a guy doing his
own wip, an unpredictable, defiant-

_ly iconoclastic and even perhaps - -

heroically autonomous individual
whose life cycle turns to the rhythm
of its own karma?

Not according to pollster
Michael Adams. God, I hate these
guys! Wouldn’t you-know it, it’s a
bloody trend.

Using a tracking system called
the 3SC Social Change Monitor,
Adams and his associates at
Environics Research Group have
found over the last couple of years

“a renewed focus on family, tribal

‘and local ties...In a world in which

individuals are feeling besieged

” (there is) a renewed focus on indi-
. vidual lives and the ‘here and

Po

now.
"Cynicism i is still very much with
us, Adams is quick to acknowledge,

_ but it is directed mainly at institu-

tions, especially governments with

their records of false promises, lies,:

and constant | policy reversals...
And pessimism certainly hasn’t

gone away. ;

-Most Canadians think the econo-

my is getting worse, the ecosysiem -:

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EN CENT

is going to hell, and
that their children will
inherit a society with a
far lower standard of
living than we enjoy
now.

But his polls indi-
cate people are coping
with the incessant
thunking of the gong’
of doom by burrowing

_into their own lives,
applying “a deeply personal and
subjective focus.” looking for God,
he says, quoting the architect Mies _
van der Rohe, “in the details of
everyday life.”

Adams concludes in a piece in
The Globe & Mail: “And just as

the faiths of earlier cras helped our
forebears cope with the uncertain-
ties of their lives, so our focus on
the relationships of everyday exis-
tence that we can control is helping
us contend with the imbroglio that
is life at the end of this millenni-
um.” ;

So that’s it. I’m not any kinder
or mellower or more compassion-
ate, or even friendlier. I’m not even:
really caught up in Christmas joy or,
loving.

Just snagged in a trend. Coping
with the apocalypse by getting on
the line to the tribe.

_ Dama! I was hoping I was tum-
ing nice in my old age. Nah...

wre

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