24 - Sunday, June 10, 1999 - North Shore News

Accessories

— Traditional elegance of custom
Bridal Headwear.

— Bridal fashion accessories
— Excellent selection of summer hats

971 Park Royal South, West Vancouver 922-4630

Ss:

Ic storage |

s completé with
“~bust form and blue
acid-freé tissue. |

‘ "your wedding I
atid Haying itt ole
like new for. many

, vear :

CAROUSEL CLEANERS. ©.
Park Royal North... 922-4811 -

Parking in Rear - Open at 7:30 a ., Sun, 12-5 p.m.

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The complete package includes:

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° A bottle of bubble on ice on arrival

¢ A five course gourmet dinner for two

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Enjoyable, relaxed atmosphere second to none

¢ This complete package is available to you for a
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ES INE 926-5511

Pan “ug Major cand accep
<a* B40 Clyde Ave., West Vancouver’ 926-551

Weddings are not
a fundraising event

AS A relief from the Age of
Greed, you might think Miss
Manners would approve of a
Starry-eyed couple’s plan-
ning their wedding as a
charitable event. Isn’t it
generous of them to desig-
nate worthy causes as
beneficiaries of whatever
largesse wedding guests
might have otherwise
directed toward themselves?

Guests were informed that they
should contribute cash to the
specified charities in lieu of wed-
ding presents, and enticed with the
reminder that the amount would
be tax-deductible. The definition
of wedding guests had been ex-
tended from family and friends to
include those whose interest was in
the charities that would benefit,
rather than in the ccuple, whom
they might not know at all.

Instead of calling it a wedding,
the couple referred to the occasion
as ‘fa unique fundraising event’’
and emphasized that it ‘vas ‘‘non-
profit’? and that they cxpected to
contribute $5,000 to $10,000 of
their own toward an estimated cost
of $20,000. Pointing out that they

Nae

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765 NORTH PARK ROYAL SHOPPING CENTRE
MARINE DRIVE, WEST VANCOUVER, BC. V7T 1H9

miss
manners
Judith Martin

had lived together for 14 years,
they said they didn’t need ordinary
wedding presents, which they
defined as ‘‘20 toasters and
blenders.’’

What is wrong with this?

Why is Miss Manners barely
able to recount these plans without
sinking back into a stupor from
which even a splash of the wedding
champagne will not revive her? Is

Lesliejane presents an inspired collection.

© lovely dresses for a country
wedding, bridesmaids and

trousseau

romantic white nighties

beautiful gifts
Mexican glass

pretty printed bed and table linens
handpainted tableware and pottery

LESLIEJANE

1480 MARINE DRIVE, WEST VANCOUVER 922-8612

she so stuck in tradition that she is
unable to appreciate imaginative
altruism?

Isn’t this better than the all-
too-usual bridsi couple’s figuring
out how much they caa dun their
friends for in the way of presents,
or preferably cash, or contribu-
tions to whatever expensive goal
they announce for themselves?

Yes and no. The immediate
motivation may be better, but the
appalling presumption underlying
it is the same.

That is that a private, even
sacred, event is an ‘‘opportunity,”’
in the baldest commercial sense of
being a chance to extract money
from well-wishers. It is that one
puts on a wedding not to make a
pretty occasion out of an impor-
tant event one wants to share with
peopie one foves, but in expecta-
tion of getting a return.

Whether the money is in pres-
ents or cash, whether it goes into
the pockets of the participants or is
directed by them to be given to
others, whether it is counted as
compensating them for their wed-
ding costs or enlarging their chance
to be philanthropists — none of
this changes the vulgar assumption
that people owe bridal couples for
getting married.

Yes, it is customary to give
wedding presents when one cares
about the couple. Nowadays it
should be obvious that settled
couples do not need the basics, and
their dear friends or relations
ought to be able to imagine —
because they know them so well —
what they might prefer. People
who really don’t know the couple
or care about them — and another
fact of modern life is that wedding
givers often mistake their business
associates or other remote ac-
quaintances for friends — needn’t
worry about wedding presents
because they will decline the in-
vitation.

Miss Manners has news for all
bridal couples, which she would
like to announce loud and clear
before this sort of thing catches

on:
All weddings are supposed to be
**non-profit events.””

DEAR MISS MANNERS — My
husband’s cousin sent us a wed- —
ding invitation with a formal card
‘*for an evening of dancing follow-
ing the reception,”’ with the nota-
tion “Cover Charge $7 per per-
son/Food and Drink provided.’’

On top of the plane fare to get
there, and the hotel expenses, I

See Bride
Page 25

Artistry in
Flowers

“Specializing in the
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Catering to your every
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682-6222

816 Howe Sercee
Vancouver, BC. Vo iNs